Injunction advice

CBABBS

Hi all,

I've gotten into a bit of a predicament where I was owed £350 for a holiday I booked that my ex decided he didn't want to go on anymore. Its been an extremely frustrating back and forth for about a month now where any communication we had ended in me being blocked and unblocked frequently or the phone being put down on me. I have messages of him asking me to call him and when I requested for a voicenote instead (so he couldn't put the phone down on me again) he said in the voicenote "OK I was gonna try and sort it but now I can't be bothered 'salut'" and blocked me.

In my frustration I have made some threats about filing police reports against his criminal activity and actually filed a police report a few days ago.

Today I get a message forwarded onto me that he has spoken to a solicitor and I have no case to be chasing the money (true - I just thought he'd be reasonable enough to pay it especially when he periodically told me he would) and I have broken the law with blackmail (OK I realise this now, but didn't at the time) and 2 counts of harassment (not sure he has anything here) and will be filing an injunction against me.

Firstly how much will that cost him - if he can't give me £350 will he really go through with it?

2 - if granted, will the injunction stay on my record? I work in finance and any job I go for needs a background check and periodically updates the check.

I guess the harassment is because I text him from other numbers when I was blocked twice. He also had a friend call me to threaten me a few weeks back (which obv isn't in writing like mine are). And I have message history of him being just as aggressive and unreasonable - never telling me to leave him alone but goading me more (I have since deleted it to delete all trace of him but hoping I can get it back somehow)


Basically we are as bad as each other but he has this legal advice that I don't and it has made me nervous. All my friends and fam are saying its scare tactics (which has worked)

Opinions welcome

onwards&upwards

I’d say time to drop it.

He clearly is never going to give you the £350, move on, don’t jeopardise your job for the sake of a few hundred quid you had no chance of ever getting anyway.

Keep all your evidence so that you can defend yourself if needed but if you stop contacting him now I doubt he’ll do anything else.

[Deleted User]

Agree with above. You have been playing games with each other. Now its time to stop. You also need to look at yourself, what it is that led to this situation where you gave yourself permission to behave in this way. I'm not judging, I've been there years ago where I lost all judgment when splitting up with someone, we were both playing psychological games, not so nice ones. It definitely didn't do me any good lol. I still can't believe it was me, now lol (wry humour).

Just walk away and learn from the experience. I've just accepted I will never see a much larger sum of money from my ex, having learned from my previous experience, I know when to give up. He'll never see or hear from me again and be the looser for it. I know not to trust again. I'm afraid no one wins in these situations. Best to avoid the red flags in the first place. In my case it was money he took without asking to pay a bill over several months from one instance of lending him a credit card I don't use. It was theft, he agreed to pay it back by several dates, not had a penny. But taking him to small claims won't work because he's self employed with no meaningful assets not tied to his business. Time to give up and walk away in my case.

The 'battle' you have been fighting was not about the money, it was about who was right, power, mistakenly trusting. You feel he's taken not only money but other things from you. Take them back, you don't need to 'win' to do that. If necessary get some counselling to discover what made you vulnerable to this relationship.

Pollycat

Of course, you filing this police report has resulted in him hitting back at you through the law (if he even has spoken to a solicitor - do you know for sure he has?).

I'm not sure what 'filing a police report' actually involves.
Can you retract it?

Do you think that if you do, he'll drop his legal intentions?

Time for both of you to act like adults and walk away from each other.

CBABBS

Yeah no it's all good advice and what I am already going to do. £350 is not going to break the bank - in fact I jet off today alone.

If he had just said "I'm not giving you the money" I would have accepted and left it. It was the dragging his feet, trying to barter with me, blocking me etc.

I'm just worried about this injunction and the liklihood of it happening. I see online it's free but is that just for domestic violence? Seeing how tight he is, I doubt he will pay any money for it.

CBABBS

@Pollycat

Yeah apparently he has a good mate who is a solicitor. So probably came from them.

I filed it online and have a crime reference number. Just had to fill out some details of the crime etc.

[Deleted User]

I am NOT a legal expert by any means but regarding the threat of legal action (blackmail) I suspect the doctrine of clean hands might come into play (but read the article carefully). https://hallellis.co.uk/blog/clean-hands-law/

As far as the injunction is concerned, I suspect it is just a threat. But obviously, act as if the injunction is in place.., no more contact for any reason, no matter the reason.

Comms69

CBABBS wrote: »

Hi all,

I've gotten into a bit of a predicament where I was owed £350 for a holiday I booked that my ex decided he didn't want to go on anymore. Its been an extremely frustrating back and forth for about a month now where any communication we had ended in me being blocked and unblocked frequently or the phone being put down on me. I have messages of him asking me to call him and when I requested for a voicenote instead (so he couldn't put the phone down on me again) he said in the voicenote "OK I was gonna try and sort it but now I can't be bothered 'salut'" and blocked me.

In my frustration I have made some threats about filing police reports against his criminal activity and actually filed a police report a few days ago.

Today I get a message forwarded onto me that he has spoken to a solicitor and I have no case to be chasing the money (true - I just thought he'd be reasonable enough to pay it especially when he periodically told me he would) and I have broken the law with blackmail (OK I realise this now, but didn't at the time) and 2 counts of harassment (not sure he has anything here) and will be filing an injunction against me.

Firstly how much will that cost him - if he can't give me £350 will he really go through with it? - Depends, he may get legal aid, but it's not guaranteed. When he says an injunction, it may be a non-molestation order.

2 - if granted, will the injunction stay on my record? - no I work in finance and any job I go for needs a background check and periodically updates the check.

I guess the harassment is because I text him from other numbers when I was blocked twice. He also had a friend call me to threaten me a few weeks back (which obv isn't in writing like mine are). And I have message history of him being just as aggressive and unreasonable - never telling me to leave him alone but goading me more (I have since deleted it to delete all trace of him but hoping I can get it back somehow) - stop contacting him, because the next step will be police and that will leave a record


Basically we are as bad as each other but he has this legal advice that I don't and it has made me nervous. All my friends and fam are saying its scare tactics (which has worked)

Opinions welcome

You are harassing him, stop doing so. You are risking more than it's worth

Comms69

Pollycat wrote: »

Of course, you filing this police report has resulted in him hitting back at you through the law (if he even has spoken to a solicitor - do you know for sure he has?).

I'm not sure what 'filing a police report' actually involves.
Can you retract it?

Do you think that if you do, he'll drop his legal intentions?

Time for both of you to act like adults and walk away from each other.

You cant retract a statement. But I think the OP has in essence reported an incident. The police are unlikely to follow up on that unless it's a very serious offence.

CBABBS

Hmmm.

It just seems very unfair to me that somebody can decide not to pay what's owed, wind somebody up when they don't get their own way and the victim of it gets told they are harassing - for essentially 'biting'

Pollycat

CBABBS wrote: »

Hmmm.

It just seems very unfair to me that somebody can decide not to pay what's owed, wind somebody up when they don't get their own way and the victim of it gets told they are harassing - for essentially 'biting'

Sometimes life is unfair.

You need to pick the battles you can win.
And in this case, it should have been pretty obvious that you were on a hiding to nothing with this one.

I hope you can extricate yourself without any further unpleasantness or impact.