How much rent should I charge my partner?

tvmarie

My partner and I have been together for 3 years, and for the last 2.5 years, he has been spending 4-5 night per week with me. The other nights he spends at his mothers while he has his access with his three children.

I have not asked him to contribute to the household bills, food, rent or holidays for the last 2.5 years as he has been in significant debt while negotiating his divorce. However now that his divorce is finalised and the house sold, he is now back to being solvent.

He earns considerably more than I do.

He spends time at his mothers when he has the children every other weekend ( and it works for us for various reasons and probably won't change).

However, now that he is solvent again, I feel that it is time to even the balance financially.

I have no idea where to start. At present, I pay a mortgage, all of the bills, all of the food and for a lot of our leisure activities.

Now that he is solvent again, I feel that there should be a balance - though have no idea where to start.

If he were to rent a room in a shared house in my local area it would cost around £350-£400 per month for a Monday to Friday (5 nights per week) let - including bills.

Im now spending around £100 per week on groceries whereas I was previously spending around £30-£40 per week.

Bills are approximately £250 pcm (water, electricity, oil, Broadband).

The house is mine, and will always be so - I have no intention of changing that. If at some point in the future we buy a property together, then I would hope that we would do so equally in time.

How do couples organise finances so that its fair to both parties?

I feel that I should be charging him something for rent, food and bills - but don't really know where to start on calculating a figure that would be fair to me and to him. (Given that he's been used to paying nothing for the last few years).

When I last tried to address the financial imbalance (18 months ago), we made an agreement where I would provide food/home - and he would pay for meals when we went out - (at that point we were going out quite a lot and taking it in turns to pay). However, since that agreement... we've only been out a handful of times.

Any advice/guidance on the best way to approach this from a financial perspective to make it fair for both of us would be much appreciated.

Comms69

Charge half (roughly) of bills and food, nothing for rent.


Otherwise you may find he gains a beneficial interest in the property.

tvmarie

Thank you Comms69 -
But would he have an interest in the property? Even with an agreement?

Somehow, it doesn't feel fair that he would have an interest in the property for paying rent.

Given that I have a hefty mortgage to pay (Im not asking for him to contribute to that and I won't be basing the rent on the mortgage cost) .. if he were a lodger in a shared house he would be paying monthly rent and wouldn't have a financial interest in the property?

74jax

tvmarie wrote: »

.

) .. if he were a lodger in a shared house he would be paying monthly rent and wouldn't have a financial interest in the property?

Hes not a lodger in a shared house though, I don't understand your comparison.

If you want him to be a lodger then by all means change your mortgage to allow you to be a land lord and get all the insurance you need to be a land lord, but that seems a weird way round having your boyfriend move in with you.

Soundgirlrocks

tvmarie wrote: »

Thank you Comms69 -
But would he have an interest in the property? Even with an agreement?

Somehow, it doesn't feel fair that he would have an interest in the property for paying rent.

Given that I have a hefty mortgage to pay (Im not asking for him to contribute to that and I won't be basing the rent on the mortgage cost) .. if he were a lodger in a shared house he would be paying monthly rent and wouldn't have a financial interest in the property?

This comes up time and time again. He is your partner not lodger and therefore has a different legal status. He has zero protections living in your property (even less than a lodger and that is pretty limited). Beneficial interest is complicated and there is a lot of fear mongering (especially on this forum) there are protections you can put in place to mitigate the risk however its good to understand - Benefical Interest

Probably the best and fairest thing would be that he puts the equivalent to rent into a savings account, then at a later date he can either buy into your property / buy somewhere together / or if you split has the funds to set up on his own.

gettingtheresometime

It doesn't cost anymore to light up a room if there's one person or two in it. Same for heating.


Food obviously is a different kettle of fish.

Comms69

tvmarie wrote: »

Thank you Comms69 -
But would he have an interest in the property? Even with an agreement? - potentially yes.

Somehow, it doesn't feel fair that he would have an interest in the property for paying rent. - There's no obligation for him to live there

Given that I have a hefty mortgage to pay (Im not asking for him to contribute to that and I won't be basing the rent on the mortgage cost) - that's your choice, you'd have to pay it whether he was there or not .. if he were a lodger in a shared house he would be paying monthly rent and wouldn't have a financial interest in the property?

Indeed, but he's not a lodger, or a tenant (more likely in a shared house), he's your partner and you live as one household.


It's equally not fair for him to pay your mortgage and get nothing out of it.

beverley1471

Could your partner buy all of the food, or the leisure activities that you usually pay for? It does seem fair that he pays for something

Mojisola

tvmarie wrote: »

However, now that he is solvent again, I feel that it is time to even the balance financially.

I have no idea where to start. At present, I pay a mortgage, all of the bills, all of the food and for a lot of our leisure activities.

Now that he's solvent and earning more than you, if he doesn't offer to pay half the bills (not counting the mortgage) and at least half of leisure activities, I'd be questioning whether he was just using you while he was in dire straights.

swingaloo

Mojisola wrote: »

Now that he's solvent and earning more than you, if he doesn't offer to pay half the bills (not counting the mortgage) and at least half of leisure activities, I'd be questioning whether he was just using you while he was in dire straights.

This exactly.

Has he mentioned sharing expenses now he is solvent or is he just carrying on blindly expecting you to carry the can.

It seems that you are doing the worrying about what to ask him for and how to ask him. Shouldn't he be the one instigating the conversation?

onwards&upwards

Comms69 wrote: »

Charge half (roughly) of bills and food, nothing for rent.


Otherwise you may find he gains a beneficial interest in the property.

Agree with this, and he should show his appreciation for this by paying on dates, for holidays etc.