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How can I pick myself up again?

6 replies 4.3K views
helsbells1984helsbells1984 Forumite
1 posts
I lost my job very suddenly and unexpectedly in May. It was a job that I loved and I thought I was very good at. I had worked alongside my boss since the early days of the company, helped him grow the business and had worked my way up to Senior Management. After 5 years there I got served a redundancy with no good reason at all really.

My lawyer agreed that I could have taken him to court for unfair dismissal, but in the end I took the money and ran because of the amount of stress and heartache it was causing me. I kind of regret not suing him now and dragging his name publicly through the mud.

I took some time out and had an extended holiday. I felt better just after I got back but I've now been job hunting for 6 weeks and am becoming more depressed every day. I feel ashamed at being made redundant and having to constantly tell people. I'm paranoid that hirers assume I must have been terrible at my job, or just awful to work with.

I've never been very good at selling myself and I feel all of my interviews so far have been terrible as I've felt so anxious about it. My self esteem seems to have entirely evaporated.

How have people managed to pick themselves up again after what feels like such crushing defeat? I have been made redundant before but as there seemed to be a genuine reason that time around, it didn't feel like as much of a blow.

Replies

  • oscarwardoscarward Forumite
    756 posts
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Posts Name Dropper Car Insurance Carver!
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    You don't say your age or which field of work you have experience in, but anyway



    I have been made redundant 3 times in my life, it is crushing but keep on plugging in your cv to the job sites , use linkedin and other things


    The first time it took me 4 months to find a job, the second time 5 months and the third time I decided to retire.


    Good luck and don't give up.
  • asajjasajj Forumite
    4.8K posts
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Rampant Recycler I've been Money Tipped!
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    Companies make people redundant all the time for different reasons. No good recruiter will automatically assume you are bad at your job just because you were made redundant. I appreciate you don't feel like there was a genuine reason but you can just cut it short and say, the business was going through a change and you were impacted. You don't have to explain them in depth. They are interested more in what you can bring to their company.
    Good luck and all the best.
    £2020in 2020 / £601
    Trying to de-clutter one drawer at a time
  • blue.peterblue.peter Forumite
    191 posts
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper
    asajj wrote: »
    Companies make people redundant all the time for different reasons. No good recruiter will automatically assume you are bad at your job just because you were made redundant.


    Absolutely true. I went through redundancy and job hunting about ten years ago. I was quite open about the reason I was looking for a job, and nobody was concerned about it. The people who did offer me a new job were well aware of my redundancy (they asked me why I was looking for a job at my interview, and I answered honestly). It wasn't an issue. They just assumed that it was a result of business restructuring. I think that they'd have been much more concerned if I'd been dismissed for, say, incomptence or dishonesty.

    As for people other than prospective employers, the only reaction I found I got was sympathy.

    Redundancy is not anything to be ashamed of. Don't think that it reflects adversely on you: it doesn't.

    It might take you a while to get another job, but don't let it get you down. I was unemployed for six months; I know someone who was out of work following redundancy for a year. It might take you some time to find a new job, but keep looking. And good luck with it!

    The big issue I found was a lack of income. I budgeted pretty carefully. I was fortunate, though, in that I'd been with my former employer for nearly 30 years, and received a fairly generous payoff. But I didn't know how long the money would have to last
  • DCFC79DCFC79 Forumite
    38.2K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
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    Look you were made redundant, it happened and nothing you can do about it, its nasty (ime it was a godsend but on the other hand its also terrifying as you have to find another job.)


    As long as your reference is good then there's no reason why anyone would think you were terrible at your job or just awful to work with.


    The more interviews you have you build up your experience. Can you practice running through any responses you give with a friend.


    I'm sure there's a book out there you can buy that may help you.


    Maybe writing down your answers to the usual questions might help.
  • happyc84happyc84 Forumite
    170 posts
    Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    to the op, I would say don't take it too personal. People get paid off every day.
    The firm should have gone through a redundancy program, I understand that you received a payoff so might be worth checking the T&Cs with a qualified body for example the government web page on employment rights.


    in 29 years of work, been made redundant twice, and holding out for a third.
  • abz88abz88 Forumite
    291 posts
    100 Posts Name Dropper
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    Working in Aberdeen, a massive amount of folk (myself included) were made redundant during the Oil and Gas downturn. It's not a nice thing to go through, but suggest you don't take it personally (I know its hard, I took it personally when it first happened to me!).
    Its nothing to be ashamed about either, if it comes up in interviews a simply "the company was struggling due to a downturn in market/operational issues/cash flow problem problems/etc and unfortunately they could no longer afford to keep me".
    If you got on well with others there, ask them to give you a reference, this can show that it was not you, it was the company that was the issue!
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