Advise please before a WAR begins

Bornwild

Welcome to MSE.

This is a stressful situation, but do not allow yourself to get angry, and do not start a war. Try not to confuse what is legally correct with what you feel is morally right or 'fair'.

Try to understand that, as beneficiaries, you do not have the right to frequent updates from the executor(s). Nor do you have the right to expect an inexperienced executor to work at the same pace as a professional executor (solicitor).

Your sister has the right to continue living in the home she shared with your late father until such time as it is sold (many months), but she will have to assume responsibility for all of the household bills from the date of his death. IIRC you can also reasonably expect 'rent' to be paid on your third of the property, so bide your time.

Similarly if the two of them want to waste their time/ money redecorating before the property is valued and sold, bide your time. Their loss may well be your gain.

There are a number of decent articles online explaining what to do if an executor continues to be negligent in their duties past the initial few months or if - much later when detailed accounts are prepared - the beneficiaries suspect fraudulent activity. Do read up and get your head around the steps in the process, but do not confront her yourself.

Is the solicitor listed in your father's will as a 'back up' or alternate executor? Are your mother and/ or beneficiary sister willing to support you taking action in this matter, say by informing the solicitor of the executor sister's words and actions?

Hi
Thanks for your detailed reply

The solictor did say to my sister that if she wanted help to call within a few weeks and they will help get things along the way.
When i rang the solictor 2 months later i was told that my sister never did get in contact.
The solictor also went on to say that if this is to much for my sister to take on she could also go to there office and sign just 1 form and they can handle it all and she wouldnt need to do anything and could step down from that role.
I did tell my sister this too incase it is all too much to handle.

Regarding her staying in the house she is paying all the bills and things i would imagine again i got no idea as im not really told much.
My mum and sister (not executor sister) went up last week as we all live so far away and she said my sister (executor) moved there partner inside and been buying stuff for the house etc. This made me feel angry as it shows me she has no interest in anyone but herself.
Mum said there partner was being really unwelcoming and barely speaking and even posted some rude qouations on fb which was obviously aimed at my mum and sister staying in the house for the weekend. My sister (executor) rang my mum up after they left and said there partner said "when they come up again let me know in advance so i book a hotel" i feel so angry about this like shes the guest if anything not US. If i went up and that happened believe me i would take another approach and speak my mind but i wasnt there and my mum and sister (not executor) are to soft and let this behaviour happen.

I am not sure if there was anyone listed as a back up
All i know was when dad was asked who he wanted as a executor my sister was chose due to living there as we live miles away and he said she knows all what i own and could sort it all out better than us miles away
His words what stick in my mind the most is when dad said
Shes good as gold she will sort it all out properly.
Yet so far im not seeing this shes doing the opposite

Bornwild

Woops - possibly and maybe even already spent by the sister

I know my mum said she hadnt got round to closing the bank accounts yet as she did ask her.
If there closed now i do not know this was a few weeks ago.
How would i know if money was spent?
My sister have took care off everything like the funeral
My mum did offer to pay half as her and my dad had a really nice friendship and remained friends after being divorced.
My sister refused any help towards the funeral and said she paid it all herself by her own money.
I did say i would like to have some off dads ashes and spoke about this at the funeral home and considering i live miles away i was told i could have some ashes posted to me.
When asking my sister about ashes again no one got answers it was all just left at the funeral home when to pick up for weeks.
Now i know they have been picked up and my sister paid for 2 herns and 1 she has and the other mum gave her the money for and has.
I feel like why did no one ask about me? I also wanted? Now i cant as there sealed down and theres only 2 herns.
I feel like if she comunicated better and asked others there opions and advise instead off acting like its just her dad and were outsiders and loose out.

Bornwild

so : 3 estranged children, 3 warring children and two ex wives, daughter has taken possession of the property and unwisely spent money on it.

Odd comment from solicitor re the rest of the estate - doesn't really make sense.

If the house is genuinely left to the three siblings then of course you could move in - you have as much right to be there as she has (though probably going to be difficult to do)

Might be better to follow the line of the executor refusing to act:

Hi

I also thought the comment from the solictor seemed abit odd and dopey.

As for moving in its impossiable as i live miles away abroad and my other sister lives inhe same country but also miles away.
I got a job and children and my husbands job to consider it would be very hard to move in myself but dont get me wrong if i was kid free and more independant believe me i would be doing that right now

For them this probley goes in there favour that were all milles away and makes it easier for them to just neglect this

Bornwild

Just a few random thoughts:

1. It sounds like a valid will, but various family members may feel they have been hard done by. They have a right to apply to the courts for additional provision under the Inheritance Act 1975. They have 6 months from the date probate is granted in which to do this.

Your sister, who lived with dad, may wish to apply. Likewise, the wife, who lived abroad. Even, your dad's other children.

If nobody makes such an application, then the will stands and you can ask the courts to enforce it. I don't think you should rock the boat too hard until after the 6 months deadline has passed.

2. It's possible the will only deals with the house and not dad's other assets. (You'll need to get hold of the exact wording of the will.) If so, there's a partial intestacy, and the other assets will need to be disposed of in accordance with intestacy provisions. It's quite likely they will have to go to the wife!

3. The cost of decoration is a small item. Also, the executor is entitled to spend the estate's money doing the house up for sale. I think you should pick your fights, and this isn't one to bother with.

Hi

This may sound a stupid question but how would i know if the WILL is in probate?
Would it happen automatically? Or the executor has to do something for this to happen? If yes than they have done nothing at all as mum asked them.

My dads wife knows he has died and has asked for his death certifcate but ive been told no one is answering her
As for dads other kids they do not even no off dads death
I did ask mum should i tell the 2 i do know and have contact with but they told me no and to leave it and dad did say he didnt want to get in contact with them again its been over 30yrs.
The other child i dont know them i only know there name.

What fight would u say i should have?

Flugelhorn

Bornwild wrote: »

I know my mum said she hadnt got round to closing the bank accounts yet as she did ask her.
If there closed now i do not know this was a few weeks ago.
How would i know if money was spent?
My sister have took care off everything like the funeral
My mum did offer to pay half as her and my dad had a really nice friendship and remained friends after being divorced.
My sister refused any help towards the funeral and said she paid it all herself by her own money.

they are not handling this well at all - the money for the funeral should not have come from individuals, it comes from the estate and should be accounted for in the estate accounts.

Say the accounts were intestate (ie not included in the will) they may belong to the wife if they are still married, if they are not then it would be divided between ALL his children equally after funeral expenses and debts paid.

Bornwild

they are not handling this well at all - the money for the funeral should not have come from individuals, it comes from the estate and should be accounted for in the estate accounts.

Say the accounts were intestate (ie not included in the will) they may belong to the wife if they are still married, if they are not then it would be divided between ALL his children equally after funeral expenses and debts paid.

I agree

Mum did tell them that the money will come out off the estate and cover the costs off the funeral.
I have no full proof how it was paid but she did say she paid for it to mum out off her own money and to behonest it maybe true as shes not done 1 thing off being a executor and finding things out or finding out anything.

If the accounts are not in the WILL estate will anyone need to contact someone to see how it gets delt with or is that down to the executor again? Tho dont see how if there not in the WILL

Flugelhorn

someone needs to see what the will actually says.

your sister needs to apply for probate and in answer to your question above, she does actually have to do something! Some people are so grief stricken that they simply find it too hard to do and may need take some time to get started - others need some encouragement.
She needs to complete PA1 form and send the death cert / will etc to the probate office - that is what the solictor will have been offering to do on her behalf (for a fee)

Bornwild

I would like to add my sister is not paying rent tome and my other sister for are share
Shall we be charging rent to her for staying in the house?

Flugelhorn

Bornwild wrote: »

I would like to add my sister is not paying rent tome and my other sister for are share
Shall we be charging rent to her for staying in the house?

You could.... but I suspect that would lead to much more aggro. You need to choose the battles and I think you would be better off clarifying the will (just in case did wrote another one) and getting it to probate

Bornwild

What happens if she doesnt apply the WILL to probate?

Also regarding the things what may not be included in the WILL how would that go to probate? Could i do that or again does a executor have to do this too?