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Advise please before a WAR begins
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Bornwild
Posts: 39 Forumite

Thanks everyone for viewing my thread
My dad made a WILL not so long ago and sadly passed away. The WILL wrote that everything would be left to myself and his 2 other children. My sister was made the executor and she is a beneficiary aswell.
Since dad has passed away its all been a touchy subject and nothing has been mentioned regarding the WILL.
My sister has never left home she is still living in my dads house and treats it as its her home not OURS. She has also moved her partner in and has been decorating and getting comfortable.
I finally sent a long detailed message to my sister and i also rang the solcitor who made the WILL with my dad.
I was told that my sister has not been in touch and there wasnt much she could tell me.
I have no idea what is suppose to happen now? If she needs to to contact someone or i have no idea?
When i did message her saying has she contacted the banks or done anything she read my message but never has replied.
My mother also asked her too and she said no shes not done nothing and basically went on to say she thinks she should keep the house and we are money grabbers if we make her sell it.
My mum and dad are divorced.
I dont know now what my rights are but i feel worried thar shes going to just sit there forever rent free all comfortable well me and my other sister have to work hard pay our morgages and get sod all.
I think shes being damn right greedy and selfish towards us and showing shes got no intrests in granting dads wishes
Please if anyone knows anymore or any advise
I wish to sort this out all evenly and friendly
She is now going to cause a huge war
My dad made a WILL not so long ago and sadly passed away. The WILL wrote that everything would be left to myself and his 2 other children. My sister was made the executor and she is a beneficiary aswell.
Since dad has passed away its all been a touchy subject and nothing has been mentioned regarding the WILL.
My sister has never left home she is still living in my dads house and treats it as its her home not OURS. She has also moved her partner in and has been decorating and getting comfortable.
I finally sent a long detailed message to my sister and i also rang the solcitor who made the WILL with my dad.
I was told that my sister has not been in touch and there wasnt much she could tell me.
I have no idea what is suppose to happen now? If she needs to to contact someone or i have no idea?
When i did message her saying has she contacted the banks or done anything she read my message but never has replied.
My mother also asked her too and she said no shes not done nothing and basically went on to say she thinks she should keep the house and we are money grabbers if we make her sell it.
My mum and dad are divorced.
I dont know now what my rights are but i feel worried thar shes going to just sit there forever rent free all comfortable well me and my other sister have to work hard pay our morgages and get sod all.
I think shes being damn right greedy and selfish towards us and showing shes got no intrests in granting dads wishes
Please if anyone knows anymore or any advise
I wish to sort this out all evenly and friendly
She is now going to cause a huge war
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Comments
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I also forgot to mention dad made her executor as she lives in the house so knows all his belongings what cars he owns and lives next to the solictor as me and my other sister lives 100s off miles away so dad said was best she should be made executor.0
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Have you seen a copy of the will? Unless he put a clause in that your sister could live in the house it should be sold and that plus any money should be divided between the three of you.
I am not sure what you do next others will post with more advise.0 -
Just a quickie because I am off to bed
You and your sister will have to be on the same page because you are up against greed. Trust me I have been there.
Write her a letter asking for copies of the will, all the financial records, cars etc
Let her know that any money taken to decorating and getting her and her partner comfortable will be coming from her portion of the estate
That you and your sister have no objection to her buying the two of you out, but it will be at market rate (you will need 3 estate agents to value the property) and you will need the names of all three
If you have to go to court, both of you are prepared to, but you will be asking for her to pay your solicitors fees.
Give her 14 days to respond and after that get a joint solicitor.
I think you should be able to obtain a copy of the will.0 -
Welcome to MSE.
This is a stressful situation, but do not allow yourself to get angry, and do not start a war. Try not to confuse what is legally correct with what you feel is morally right or 'fair'.
Try to understand that, as beneficiaries, you do not have the right to frequent updates from the executor(s). Nor do you have the right to expect an inexperienced executor to work at the same pace as a professional executor (solicitor).
Your sister has the right to continue living in the home she shared with your late father until such time as it is sold (many months), but she will have to assume responsibility for all of the household bills from the date of his death. IIRC you can also reasonably expect 'rent' to be paid on your third of the property, so bide your time.
Similarly if the two of them want to waste their time/ money redecorating before the property is valued and sold, bide your time.Their loss may well be your gain.
There are a number of decent articles online explaining what to do if an executor continues to be negligent in their duties past the initial few months or if - much later when detailed accounts are prepared - the beneficiaries suspect fraudulent activity. Do read up and get your head around the steps in the process, but do not confront her yourself.
Is the solicitor listed in your father's will as a 'back up' or alternate executor? Are your mother and/ or beneficiary sister willing to support you taking action in this matter, say by informing the solicitor of the executor sister's words and actions?Declutterbug-in-progress.⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️⭐️0 -
There are some useful guides about to help understand the process if the problems persist or relationships deteriorate too far.
To get started google problem executor
read a few of them that cover the basic problem of the breakdown of trust and what is significant enough to warrant removal of an executor.
Until you see what the will states, or a reasonable(months) amount of time has passed with no action you can't make much progress if moving things forward.
You have to consider the position of someone that has lived in all their live and made a home of the property and is also grieving the loss of a parent.
IT may be sensible to tread carefully and continue dialogue with with the help of a mediator like your mum that can try to avoid escalation.0 -
geminilady wrote: »Have you seen a copy of the will? Unless he put a clause in that your sister could live in the house it should be sold and that plus any money should be divided between the three of you.
I am not sure what you do next others will post with more advise.
Hi
Yes i was there when it was made
It doesnt say anything about my sister being able to stay till she wants. I dont have a copy but it was very short just along the lines off I leave my estate with his houseaddtesd wrote to my 3 children with our names wrote.
I also was told when i spoke to the solictor that it may just stand for the house and not his full estate like bank accounts and belongings and so on.
Im not sure what would happen about that?
I also need to mention that dad was married to a women for 1yr who lives in another country, he told me on film he didnt want her to have anything thing from him (i know this video may not count) he showed me she was a goldigger and sent me textes she basically bullied him to send her money every month (she lives in a NON EU country and never lived in the UK shes not allowed to go there)
Also my dad has 3 other kids and they wasnt in the WILL either as dads not seen them in over 30 yrs its his choice i did say if u wanted to speak to them or anything or shall i say to them your ill etc (i have contact with 1) but dad said no.
I dont know if my sister doesnt sort out the probate that could also leave a door open to others protesting the WILL as his wifes already started asking questions.0 -
Just a quickie because I am off to bed
You and your sister will have to be on the same page because you are up against greed. Trust me I have been there.
Write her a letter asking for copies of the will, all the financial records, cars etc
Let her know that any money taken to decorating and getting her and her partner comfortable will be coming from her portion of the estate
That you and your sister have no objection to her buying the two of you out, but it will be at market rate (you will need 3 estate agents to value the property) and you will need the names of all three
If you have to go to court, both of you are prepared to, but you will be asking for her to pay your solicitors fees.
Give her 14 days to respond and after that get a joint solicitor.
I think you should be able to obtain a copy of the will.
Hi
Can i ask what happened in your case? Sorry if i sound cheeky but its helps me to understand what im up against.
My sister (whos not the executor) feels the same feelings as i do as we have spoke about this often but shes going through other problems in her life right now and said she cant deal with this stress as off now.
Would i stand a chance to fight alone if say my sister dont want to get involved right now?0 -
so : 3 estranged children, 3 warring children and two ex wives, daughter has taken possession of the property and unwisely spent money on it.
Odd comment from solicitor re the rest of the estate - doesn't really make sense.
If the house is genuinely left to the three siblings then of course you could move in - you have as much right to be there as she has (though probably going to be difficult to do)
Might be better to follow the line of the executor refusing to act:What to do if the executor refuses to act?
If the named executor refuses to apply for probate one or more of the will’s beneficiaries or next of kin may write to them and put them on notice that an application may be sent to court to name someone else to manage the estate.
A court order may allow for a beneficiary or next of kin to apply for a grant of probate. In case the next of kin do not have a copy of the original will, which is in the executor’s possession, a subpoena should be served upon the executor so they are obliged to deliver the original will in up to eight days.
Eight days after the subpoena has been served, the next of kin can file a citation at court, which requires that the named executor accepts or refuses the grant of probate.
The court will issue the grant of probate to the next of kin if the named executor fails to apply or renounce. This process cannot be done in case the named executor has already started dealing with the estate.0 -
Just a few random thoughts:
1. It sounds like a valid will, but various family members may feel they have been hard done by. They have a right to apply to the courts for additional provision under the Inheritance Act 1975. They have 6 months from the date probate is granted in which to do this.
Your sister, who lived with dad, may wish to apply. Likewise, the wife, who lived abroad. Even, your dad's other children.
If nobody makes such an application, then the will stands and you can ask the courts to enforce it. I don't think you should rock the boat too hard until after the 6 months deadline has passed.
2. It's possible the will only deals with the house and not dad's other assets. (You'll need to get hold of the exact wording of the will.) If so, there's a partial intestacy, and the other assets will need to be disposed of in accordance with intestacy provisions. It's quite likely they will have to go to the wife!
3. The cost of decoration is a small item. Also, the executor is entitled to spend the estate's money doing the house up for sale. I think you should pick your fights, and this isn't one to bother with.No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0 -
2. It's possible the will only deals with the house and not dad's other assets. (You'll need to get hold of the exact wording of the will.) If so, there's a partial intestacy, and the other assets will need to be disposed of in accordance with intestacy provisions. It's quite likely they will have to go to the wife!
Woops - possibly and maybe even already spent by the sister0
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