I really need help!

clairebeth

Just because you are not combining finances doesn't mean you shouldn't be aware of each other's financial situation. Regardless of how they are split, you are both responsible for the 'family finances', both legally responsible for the mortgages if you are both named on it. How do you know he doesn't have a £20,000 credit card debt that he is trying to manage? I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be stressed about this on your own, so sit down and talk!

[Deleted User]

brednall wrote: »

If only I had time for a second job! I work school hours 5 days a week every week including school holidays which means additional trips to and fro to my mums house who kindly helps out with childcare during the holidays.

Evening job?

MallyGirl

brednall wrote: »

If only I had time for a second job! I work school hours 5 days a week every week including school holidays which means additional trips to and fro to my mums house who kindly helps out with childcare during the holidays.

I guess it depends how much you want to address the debt - I had a friend who worked nights whilst her hubby worked days. They only saw each other in passing and at the weekends but the extra pay for nights got them where they wanted to be. Fundamentally you don't earn enough to be supporting the 2 house setup as husband's money is going towards that rather than towards helping you. If that house situation is not going to change then it is 'earn more' with a second/different job or 'spend less'.

dan958

Are the debts just yours, or aer they yours and your partners? (i.e. who will be paying for it?)

If it is both of you, we would need to see the incoming and outgoings of both of you.

Sit down together and write everything down.

Sea_Shell

Are your 2 children also his or from previous relationship?

brednall

Sea_Shell wrote: »

Are your 2 children also his or from previous relationship?

Not sure that's relevant but the children are ours.

Sea_Shell

It would be relevant if you were having to bare most of their "costs" if he wasn't paying enough towards "your" children.

It happens. Your kids, your problem.

I just wondered, due to you having such separate finances and you mentioned he'd been stung before.

theoretica

brednall wrote: »

Having 2 children obviously incurs little ad-hoc spends here and there and I know I need to cut these down going forward.

You also need a line for these in your budget. Acknowledge they exist and keep track of them.


Is £25 a month all clothing for you and the kids?

Karonher

If the holidays are causing extra financial issue then could you ask him to arrange a little extra to be put aside for days out?

Can the mortgage issue be addressed so that he pays less for the second home?

enthusiasticsaver

As you only have your presumably part time wage clearing more than £10k of debt when you only have around £125 spare will be tough especially as your soa shows nothing for emergency savings which should be a priority. You mentioned presents - who pays for those you or your husband? Your soa shows nothing for them either.

How did that £8918 on the Barclaycard occur and how long have you had it? Are you paying interest on the debts? I doubt Next is 0%.