Hitting rock bottom - Massive Help Needed

Kentish_Dave

I’d echo the above. Those glibly suggesting bankruptcy (including the usual suspect who always recommends whatever will hurt lenders the most) are doing you no favors by ignoring the elephant in the room which looks to be a deeper issue than just not earning a lot.

cazabella2019

Thank you for your advice and replies, I am extremely grateful for everyone's words of wisdom.

I have been doing a lot of thinking and writing down over the past few days to try and figure out what went so wrong (This is certainly not a woe is me post, just taking accountability for my actions). I wasn't always bad with money as I thought, infact until 2011 I was actually reasonably good with my money. I was able to put some away each month, budget and save for holidays, bills were always paid, rent was in credit etc. From July 2011 everything went wrong - My relationship of 9 years ended, I moved to a new town and started all over - new home, new job, new friends etc.

I think a lot of the money troubles started here... I was switched from monthly pay to weekly pay for the first time ever and I guess I thought 'if I spend this weeks wages it would be fine as i'd make up next week', and that kept snowballing every week until I had no money at the end of the month to pay for my bills, my rent would always be paid but then credit cards were getting used to pay the rent, store cards and car payments, I'd get a large garage / phone bill in and it would go on a credit card, which would then be maxed out so i'd panic and apply for another one, then it went to payday loans in the same manor, while all that time thinking 'it's okay I can handle it' i'll pay it all back next month! Next month didn't come and it all spiraled out of control and the spending was erratic.

In my opinion I am not really keen on the idea of bankruptcy at all, infact i'm quite against it after thinking about it. Yes, I know it will sort the situation out quicker and be able to wipe the slate clean and move on straight away etc, but it will still show on my credit file for at least 6 years, wheras my last CCJ is due to be removed 4 years from now. How can a lesson be learnt by accumulating debts and wiping them clean. I think i'd rather learn my lesson and pay something even if's a small amount than nothing to the places I owe the debts to.

I think if I was armed with a good plan, budget and diary and some nudging in the right direction along the way then I can crack this by taking it one day at a time and starting to live within my means. If I have to take on a second job for a few hours a week to help then that's what i'll need to do.

I have contacted StepChange and they have arranged a phone appointment for me for tomorrow to go through all my outgoings etc and to discuss the best way forward. I also made contact with GamCare last night and found them so helpful.... Why I didn't contact either of these two places before will remain a mystery!

Dorastar

Sometimes you just need to be ready to see things as they are and no-one can make that happen. Most important thing now is that you have made that step and are speaking to the right people about it. I have no wise advice money wise but do know that Stepchange will be very honest with you and that posting on here regularly is good for getting support and for making yourself accountable too. There are loads of positive stories on here which are well worth a read when things feel hard. Good luck.

cazabella2019

secretdebt wrote: »

The very first thing to do (if you haven't already) is to sign up on...
I cannot tell you how much it helps when you want to gamble, but know you can't!

I had a load of debt from gambling and it took me 4.5 years or so to pay it off. There were a few slip ups during my time, but generally it was ok. Using Gamstop for the past 9 months has likely been a life saver. It means that even though I may want to, I actually can't, and before I know it, the urge to gamble goes away.

Opening up and talking to people about it helps, and you may also then find someone who is in the same situation (more common than people realise unfortunately).

Stepchange were good and i would recommend using their services.

Hit me a private message if you want to talk about it in private, I am happy to help fellow gambling addicts.

Thank you. I have signed up to GamStop today as well as making contact with GamCare... I feel like a very small weight has been lifted as I've made the first step to making things better! The road will be long and not without tears and tantrums along the way but let's do this!

sourcrates

Well you have 42 separate credit accounts, it is not going to be easy to keep on top of this, but whatever option you choose, it’s your choice to make, and I wish you well with it.
We have a very wide and helpful knowledge base on this forum, so anything you need help with, you know where we are.

warby68

I am not a fan of bankruptcy as the 'easy option' sometimes promoted as it stills come with some (not as much these days but still some) stigma, possible implications for the future and means you have not dealt with your responsibilities. I expect you're feeling some of that. However it has been around as a solution for a long time and for some, it is still the lesser of the evils and the best of the few outcomes still open . I really suspect you may be one of those due to your low earnings, lack of assets and the size and sheer number of debts to ever manage in a reasonable period.

All I would say at this stage is to take your time - now you have faced it there will be an urge to solve it but its taken at least 8 years to get here so you can take a few weeks or months to decide the best way forward.

Look at your realistic income prospects for the next few years as a fairly modest earner in their 30's and your realistic non-negotiable living costs and see how much is truly spare for dealing with debt. I don't mean a draconian not a penny on anything budget but a realistic one to live by for the long term. It is probably a very long time since you actually lived on what you earned without robbing Peter to pay Paul. Then you can decide which of the debt solutions is truly best. A few more weeks getting gambling help might give you more confidence too.

Another poster observed your multiple debts for the same thing and the possible inference that there has been a long period of unaffordable lifestyle choices. Its important you get to the cliched position of 'living within your means' and get to know all over again what type of lifestyle your income level and living situation support.

In the interests of self-preservation, it might make sense to address the rent arrears as priority and get them clear before next steps so that you are not made homeless as well. Having stable living accommodation will help you I'm sure. I know this is preferring a creditor but accommodation is a high priority bill which comes before pretty much everything else.

sourcrates

The problem is the OP has no disposable income, you cannot opt for debt management without it, in fact if anything, her budget exceeds her earnings by a fair old margin, I don’t see how she can live within her means, under those circumstances.

There is nothing for utilities, council tax, fuel, car repairs, I could list another dozen items missing from her budget, to be honest, I don’t see how she is presently managing given she has no further access to credit.

The credit payments alone, and I understand she’s not currently paying most of them, would far exceed her monthly income.

Unless the income can be increased by getting a better or a second job, there is no other alternative than what I advised earlier.

cazabella2019

sourcrates wrote: »

The problem is the OP has no disposable income, you cannot opt for debt management without it, in fact if anything, her budget exceeds her earnings by a fair old margin, I don’t see how she can live within her means, under those circumstances.

There is nothing for utilities, council tax, fuel, car repairs, I could list another dozen items missing from her budget, to be honest, I don’t see how she is presently managing given she has no further access to credit.

The credit payments alone, and I understand she’s not currently paying most of them, would far exceed her monthly income.

Unless the income can be increased by getting a better or a second job, there is no other alternative than what I advised earlier.

Apologise, I should of made this clearer in my original post - my rent includes all of the utilities such as electricity, gas, broadband and council tax etc. I rent the house from a friend. I currently don't have a car, so therefor no vehicle repairs etc.

cazabella2019

warby68 wrote: »

In the interests of self-preservation, it might make sense to address the rent arrears as priority and get them clear before next steps so that you are not made homeless as well. Having stable living accommodation will help you I'm sure. I know this is preferring a creditor but accommodation is a high priority bill which comes before pretty much everything else.

My accommodation is a rented house from a friend, we have a good friendship, so I know that he isn't going to evict me and leave me homeless, but he also knows i'm working on my arrears and is okay with that. Normal rent is £330 per month, but have been paying £600.00 over the past few months to catch up on arrears, come the end of the year if I keep paying the same this will be cleared off, which will leave me with an extra £270.00 per month for debt repayment.

warby68

sourcrates wrote: »

The problem is the OP has no disposable income, you cannot opt for debt management without it, in fact if anything, her budget exceeds her earnings by a fair old margin, I don’t see how she can live within her means, under those circumstances.

There is nothing for utilities, council tax, fuel, car repairs, I could list another dozen items missing from her budget, to be honest, I don’t see how she is presently managing given she has no further access to credit.

The credit payments alone, and I understand she’s not currently paying most of them, would far exceed her monthly income.

Unless the income can be increased by getting a better or a second job, there is no other alternative than what I advised earlier.

I'm sorry, I phrased it badly - I was including bankruptcy as a debt solution option and meaning that taking the time to see what an honest budget can sustain might make bankruptcy more palatable once it becomes clear how little is actually spare and how gargantuan the task is.

I understood no payments have been made to most debts for some time so OP is only really living off the income and perhaps paying a bit here and there.