Family Death during notice period

Savvy_Sue

74jax wrote: »

Everywhere is different, in my work we get 5 days for a close relative (an uncle would fall into that at my work) and everyone else outside (including friends) is 1 day.

I'm sure I wouldn't get anything for an aunt or uncle: I didn't even ASK for my aunt's funeral.

Having said that, if I had had a very close relationship such as the OP describes, and I'd asked, I'm sure I would have got something.

If you're in a union, talk to them.

It would be worth going to see your GP although the key question is "why can't you return for any of this period?" After both Mum and Dad died I was back at work within a day or two, then took a few days once the funeral was arranged. But then, I work in an office, I have fantastic colleagues, and I knew I could avoid the phones and the public, and no-one would bat an eyelid if I burst into tears and needed five minutes and a box of tissues. In a different job, I wouldn't have been back immediately.

Failing the GP, I'd be tempted to respond to HR "thank you for telling me what you expect. I regret I am unable to fulfil my contractual obligations and will not be returning to the workplace." You can go into more detail if you think it would help, eg "I am very emotionally fragile and would not be able to offer a professional attitude at this early stage" or whatever.

BTW, I would speak to your new employer and make them aware that you may not be fulfilling your notice period with the current employer. It is possible that the current employer will try to cause problems by telling the new employer this.

74jax

Are you still wanting to start with your new employer on the date originally given, or do you not feel you can work at all as you need to help others?

Is it just this job you don't want to return to, but happy to go to the new one is what I mean?

If so, be careful with a fit note as it may cover the start date of new job.

starless38

I have told my new job and they’ve been great - advised that they are fine to wait an extra few weeks if I feel I need the time, and have also supported a part time start whilst I am in training to ease me in and not overwhelm me.

Current employer seems so obsessed with teaching me a lesson eg. I cannot cut short my notice period under any circumstance. I should also have said I’ve accrued 71 hours holiday and they won’t even allow me to use this, instead they want to pay me this in my final wage.

No it isn’t the job, it’s the situation. I feel I need to be with my family. It’s great how some of you have coped with grief but we are all different.

[Deleted User]

starless38 wrote: »

yep - I have said since Monday money is not an issue but they still won't allow me to finish now.

I do not get what there is to gain for them.

Perhaps there is a history of employees just walking out and therefore they have to simply set an example.

Perhaps there is a lot of others' holiday periods coming up.

I am contracted to receive a rota weekly but this month my boss has prepared me a further 3 weeks because there is a need to plan for other colleague's holidays in and so a need for me to work. Even though I stuggle on early shifts to complete tasks and am no use to anyone. They still need me there.

As other posters have been keen to point out in the past recruiting costs when it's not a low level/basic position. You'll have kicked them in the teeth if you've simply decided the job now isn't a right fit and if they really cannot see a reason as to why you would give the job up.

Some of us early days in jobs aren't even entitled to notice not even a single day with people on here quick to say there's attitude, but the employer can expect it of us.

One time I had to work 3 weeks out of a month before the employer relented on allowing early release with a potential for a grievance hovering over. (which I declined with getting my wish to leave)

Undervalued

74jax wrote: »

Are you still wanting to start with your new employer on the date originally given, or do you not feel you can work at all as you need to help others?

Is it just this job you don't want to return to, but happy to go to the new one is what I mean?

If so, be careful with a fit note as it may cover the start date of new job.

Quite. Unless there are some exceptional circumstances that would be wrong and could lead to problems if the employer found out.

If, in the doctor's opinion the OP is too unwell to work then he should of course be signed off sick. I suppose it could be argued that two or three weeks is the appropriate period and it just so happens that he will be well enough to start the new job which begins at that exact moment?

However if I was the old employer I might look at that sort of situation with some concern and perhaps consider using my discretion not to pay any sick leave?

starless38

Can I just make this clear : this is not about money.

This is about me, never had a day off sick in 20 years, working in my first office role after 19 years in a manufacturing role and realising I don’t suit the environment. I’ve never let anyone down in my life and until now everything has been cordial - death in my family and BOOM it’s you have no rights whatsoever.

Thanks for the replies but I just feel I’m being judged now.

Undervalued

starless38 wrote: »

I have told my new job and they’ve been great - advised that they are fine to wait an extra few weeks if I feel I need the time, and have also supported a part time start whilst I am in training to ease me in and not overwhelm me. Which is great although it is not costing them anything.

Current employer seems so obsessed with teaching me a lesson eg. I cannot cut short my notice period under any circumstance. I should also have said I’ve accrued 71 hours holiday and they won’t even allow me to use this, instead they want to pay me this in my final wage. As is their right.

No it isn’t the job, it’s the situation. I feel I need to be with my family. It’s great how some of you have coped with grief but we are all different.

Yes, but as said it all comes down to whether your doctor considers you to be too ill to work. If he genuinely does then it is right a proper that you are signed off sick. But there is a big difference between that and simply "I feel I need to be with my family".

TELLIT01

starless38 wrote: »

Can I just make this clear : this is not about money.

This is about me, never had a day off sick in 20 years, working in my first office role after 19 years in a manufacturing role and realising I don’t suit the environment. I’ve never let anyone down in my life and until now everything has been cordial - death in my family and BOOM it’s you have no rights whatsoever.

Thanks for the replies but I just feel I’m being judged now.

I've only seen one post where I have felt that inference could be taken. Just go with the advice to see your GP and get signed off. I've been in the position of having a sudden, unexpected death in the family and I struggled to function properly even after 3 weeks off work. Your priority must be your own health and that of your family.

getmore4less

starless38 wrote: »

Can I just make this clear : this is not about money.

This is about me, never had a day off sick in 20 years, working in my first office role after 19 years in a manufacturing role and realising I don’t suit the environment. I’ve never let anyone down in my life and until now everything has been cordial - death in my family and BOOM it’s you have no rights whatsoever.

Thanks for the replies but I just feel I’m being judged now.

You do.

You are unable to work get a sick note.

play it by the book that is all they are asking

Mrsn

I’m so very sorry to hear of your situation and pleased that your new employers are also being supportive.

I don’t usually advocate this in notice periods (and I’m working through a hellish one at the moment) but in your situation go the GP and get the sick note. You have so much going on at the moment the extra stress is not what you need, they seem to be harsh but could be because of previous employees behaviour and your bearing the brunt of it.

Good luck with everything else coming up