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Lodger (house guest) Nightmare
Newstart3
Posts: 73 Forumite
Not strictly a lodger more of a house guest, but I need to vent.
My friend's son was stuck for somewhere to stay in April, so I offered him my spare room temporarily for a month or so to get himself sorted. Set rules out; no parties, no strangers round, no loud music, not to enter my bedroom, tidy up after himself etc etc. Explained that I’m away quite a lot of work and stay over at the boyfriends a few times a week, so needs to be trustworthy. Genuinely seemed like a nice guy.
First weekend (Easter) I finish work on Thursday and drive up to my parents in Scotland. Seen on facebook a few photos shared by my friends niece, taken in my garden. Not particularly happy, I send my boyfriend round that night but the house is empty but all lights left on?! Start to get a bit paranoid so decide to head home early on Monday morning.
Arrived home after 2 hours driving to find the house an absolute mess, dishes everywhere, takeaway wrappers, empty bottles, clothes all over the floor, rubbish and cigarette butts all over the garden. Head upstairs with my suitcase to confront him, only to find one of his friends sleeping in my bed and another girl in his bed!!! Anyway I hit the roof, demand his friends leave and to sort the mess out immediately. I was so angry I had to leave the house and go calm down. Rang his mother and said he had to leave immediately, but got guilt tripped into giving him a second chance. Huge mistake!!
He was told under no circumstances was he to have any more visitors in the house. He was to find somewhere else asap. Returned home to find strange girl and a mountain bike in my livingroom. When questioned, he thought the no visitors meant just he wasn’t allowed parties?!
Anyway the short term temporary situation carried on for almost 4 months. His room and the house got progressively worse; takeaway wrappers, plates, glasses, cutlery, rotten food, dirty clothes all over his bedroom floor. Repeatedly asked to put bins/ recycling out on a Wednesday night whilst I was away on business, would return home to find nothing done, bins/ recycling overflowing, started smoking his bedroom, bathrooms disgusting. When questioned would deny all wrongdoing. By this point, I’m at my wits end – I’m working full time and writing my dissertation so stress levels are through the roof.
Finally he finds somewhere else (yey!) Gets the keys and takes the majority of his stuff on the Friday (TV, bedding, toiletries etc). He promises to clean and move out over the weekend and hand keys over on Sunday afternoon. Promises he can borrow a carpet cleaner to sort bedroom carpet and mattress. The boyfriend and I arrange to stay at his that weekend. By this point, it had been a constant worry but I felt relaxed as he’d taken most of his stuff and said he wouldn’t be sleeping at the house. Massive mistake no. 2 – Return to house on Sunday afternoon to find he’d returned there on Friday after I left, had friends round and not only had they clearly had a look through all my belongings in my bedroom (clothes moved around in wardrobe, drawers not closed properly), they had also slept in my bed again!! At this point I lost the plot and demanded he hand over his key and get out of my house. No idea if anything has been taken but it’s difficult to tell. Spend the rest of Sunday cleaning the house and airing the house.
He moved out and has made no contribution to bills (as agreed) or cleaning but I’m left with;
• Owes £140 for bills (electric/ gas went from in credit to in arrears and DD jumped from £42 to £78 a month)
• Broke £80 kitchen bin – promised to replace but now won’t
• Stole 3 kitchen mugs (£60 worth)
• Broke a set of LSA glasses, he was asked repeatedly not to use
• Was hiding rubbish from his bedroom in bags in my attic rather than taking it downstairs.
• Put rotten fish in freezer and I broke the drawer trying to remove it (was also sick in back garden in process)
• Overflowing bins/ recycling
• Fruit flies all over the house
• Left rotten food in fridge
• Left oven dirty
• Spilt fruit juice on bedroom carpet and didn’t clean it up (alongside various other stains)
• Backgarden covered in cigarette ends
• Mattress (cost £800 & a year old) covered in dirt and stains as he never bothered to change the sheets and removed the mattress protector.
His mother has promised to come round and clean but that’s never happened, so I’ve been left to sort the mess out on my own.
The best laugh though – he didn’t even thank me when he left, but asked if he could have the print hanging in my livingroom. I told him to f**k off!
My friend's son was stuck for somewhere to stay in April, so I offered him my spare room temporarily for a month or so to get himself sorted. Set rules out; no parties, no strangers round, no loud music, not to enter my bedroom, tidy up after himself etc etc. Explained that I’m away quite a lot of work and stay over at the boyfriends a few times a week, so needs to be trustworthy. Genuinely seemed like a nice guy.
First weekend (Easter) I finish work on Thursday and drive up to my parents in Scotland. Seen on facebook a few photos shared by my friends niece, taken in my garden. Not particularly happy, I send my boyfriend round that night but the house is empty but all lights left on?! Start to get a bit paranoid so decide to head home early on Monday morning.
Arrived home after 2 hours driving to find the house an absolute mess, dishes everywhere, takeaway wrappers, empty bottles, clothes all over the floor, rubbish and cigarette butts all over the garden. Head upstairs with my suitcase to confront him, only to find one of his friends sleeping in my bed and another girl in his bed!!! Anyway I hit the roof, demand his friends leave and to sort the mess out immediately. I was so angry I had to leave the house and go calm down. Rang his mother and said he had to leave immediately, but got guilt tripped into giving him a second chance. Huge mistake!!
He was told under no circumstances was he to have any more visitors in the house. He was to find somewhere else asap. Returned home to find strange girl and a mountain bike in my livingroom. When questioned, he thought the no visitors meant just he wasn’t allowed parties?!
Anyway the short term temporary situation carried on for almost 4 months. His room and the house got progressively worse; takeaway wrappers, plates, glasses, cutlery, rotten food, dirty clothes all over his bedroom floor. Repeatedly asked to put bins/ recycling out on a Wednesday night whilst I was away on business, would return home to find nothing done, bins/ recycling overflowing, started smoking his bedroom, bathrooms disgusting. When questioned would deny all wrongdoing. By this point, I’m at my wits end – I’m working full time and writing my dissertation so stress levels are through the roof.
Finally he finds somewhere else (yey!) Gets the keys and takes the majority of his stuff on the Friday (TV, bedding, toiletries etc). He promises to clean and move out over the weekend and hand keys over on Sunday afternoon. Promises he can borrow a carpet cleaner to sort bedroom carpet and mattress. The boyfriend and I arrange to stay at his that weekend. By this point, it had been a constant worry but I felt relaxed as he’d taken most of his stuff and said he wouldn’t be sleeping at the house. Massive mistake no. 2 – Return to house on Sunday afternoon to find he’d returned there on Friday after I left, had friends round and not only had they clearly had a look through all my belongings in my bedroom (clothes moved around in wardrobe, drawers not closed properly), they had also slept in my bed again!! At this point I lost the plot and demanded he hand over his key and get out of my house. No idea if anything has been taken but it’s difficult to tell. Spend the rest of Sunday cleaning the house and airing the house.
He moved out and has made no contribution to bills (as agreed) or cleaning but I’m left with;
• Owes £140 for bills (electric/ gas went from in credit to in arrears and DD jumped from £42 to £78 a month)
• Broke £80 kitchen bin – promised to replace but now won’t
• Stole 3 kitchen mugs (£60 worth)
• Broke a set of LSA glasses, he was asked repeatedly not to use
• Was hiding rubbish from his bedroom in bags in my attic rather than taking it downstairs.
• Put rotten fish in freezer and I broke the drawer trying to remove it (was also sick in back garden in process)
• Overflowing bins/ recycling
• Fruit flies all over the house
• Left rotten food in fridge
• Left oven dirty
• Spilt fruit juice on bedroom carpet and didn’t clean it up (alongside various other stains)
• Backgarden covered in cigarette ends
• Mattress (cost £800 & a year old) covered in dirt and stains as he never bothered to change the sheets and removed the mattress protector.
His mother has promised to come round and clean but that’s never happened, so I’ve been left to sort the mess out on my own.
The best laugh though – he didn’t even thank me when he left, but asked if he could have the print hanging in my livingroom. I told him to f**k off!
0
Comments
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... stuck for somewhere to stay .... vrrrrp vrrrrp alarm bells !
he's someone else's problem now ...
perhaps when he's settled in a nice house in a few years time, go around there and take a pooh on his rug lol !0 -
Why did you let him stay for so long! Why did you not arrange a monthly rent with him? No agreement in place don't see what you can do really, tidy your house and move on don't let this take over your life not worth stressing over. mistake made and lesson learnt0
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mundibananas wrote: »... stuck for somewhere to stay .... vrrrrp vrrrrp alarm bells !
he's someone else's problem now ...
perhaps when he's settled in a nice house in a few years time, go around there and take a pooh on his rug lol !
Oh haha that did make me laugh:rotfl:0 -
Not strictly a lodger more of a house guest, but I need to vent.
My friend's son was stuck for somewhere to stay in April, so I offered him my spare room temporarily for a month or so to get himself sorted.
Anyway I hit the roof, demand his friends leave and to sort the mess out immediately. I was so angry I had to leave the house and go calm down. Rang his mother and said he had to leave immediately, but got guilt tripped into giving him a second chance.
Anyway the short term temporary situation carried on for almost 4 months.
Two lessons for the rest of us - if the rules are broken, don't get guilt-tripped into backing down.
If you do back down, only do it once - don't let it drag on.
If my son did something like that to a friend of mine who had offered him help, I would be round there to clean up and offer to pay anything he owed. Are you still friends with her?0 -
His Mum obviously didn’t want him at hers! And you can see why.
Ask his mum for the money to clean up/replace.
Take photos of the mess.
Then off to small claims court.
But I’d write it off frankly. You enabled him if you are honest with yourself.0 -
Sorry to be blunt OP but, as they say "there's one born every minute". It's a shame that it happened to be you. You allowed him to take the Michael out of you for months when you should have kicked him out at the transgression.
A harsh lesson but I am sure you have learnt it.0 -
Have you changed the locks yet?
If not, then do so like today just in case.0 -
Sorry but you are partly to blame. You allowed the rules to be broken. You should have kicked him out at the first opportunity. He knew that he had done wrong but you didn't take positive action. He saw that he could get away with it and continued to abuse your trust.Eat vegetables and fear no creditors, rather than eat duck and hide.0
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Take him to small claims court and get a CCJ against him. Then he really will have a problem finding somewhere to live and his mother will have to take responsibility for the way he behaves. I assume that you are no longer friends with his mother. Friends don't foist their badly behaved children on you.0
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Do you know the story about the man who had cheese sandwiches every day for lunch? Everyday, he said to his colleagues "oh no, cheese sarnies again ...". His colleague got fed up, and suggested he told whoever made his sandwiches to make him something different. The man replied "oh I make my own".0
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