Protection for elderly mother

Saratoga241

I've cancelled the card in the past, but this was giving the neighbour more opportunity to go to the bank with my mum to apply for the new card and help herself to more cash out of the bank at the same time. The neighbour also managed to go into the bank and cancel my third party access to my mum's accounts at one point. It's a complete mess. I've been so surprised that I have repeatedly raised the issue with the bank and they continue to let this woman attend appointments (which she has actually made over the phone herself) with my mum. She also managed to use my mum's card for a large transaction over the phone and pretended to be her daughter. Again, I can't prove this happened.

Saratoga241

No, the neighbour has convinced her that myself and my sister are trying g to take away her independence.

Skibunny40

The more you write, the worse it sounds - I really do sympathise. It's definitely worth continuing fighting with the bank if they allowed the neighbour to cancel your third party access, I'd have been fuming!!

Ms_Chocaholic

Could your mum come to you for a week or two, in that time you could possibly persuade her to move into sheltered housing. Is this available? Instill to her the benefits this would have, closer to you etc etc.

If not, what does your mum go to the bank/ATM for? Just to get money for the shopping? Can you say you will order it for her online via Tesco/Asda etc and get it delivered and that way circumventing the need for the neighbour to go to the bank/ATM with her.

Saratoga241

Elsien, I've thought about moving the money, but they just go into the bank and withdraw it from whichever account. I think we might have to move her money to bonds or something to keep it away from this woman. However, I've refrained from doing this in case it ended up damaging my relationship with my mum. She would see this as interfering, even though we would be doing it for the right reasons.

BrassicWoman

Saratoga241 wrote: »

No, the neighbour has convinced her that myself and my sister are trying g to take away her independence.

I'm so sorry. People can be truly awful.

elsien

Maybe try the action on elder abuse helpline?

https://www.elderabuse.org.uk/support-services

And keep chasing social services till they get involved.

Saratoga241

Ms Chocaholic, this is the strange thing too. My mum seems to be doing her shopping and paying for the neighbour's shopping on her card too. In addition to this I can see a lot of cash point withdrawals on my mum's card. My mum lives very frugally, so it just doesn't add up. To make master's worse, we recently found out that none of the neighbour's family talk to her because they accuse her of rewriting her own mother's will and having done off with the total family inheritance when her own mother died. We are a bit worried that she could have taken my mum to a solicitor to do this and there is apparently no legal way of finding out if this is the case. It's all very stressful.

Mojisola

Saratoga241 wrote: »

To make master's worse, we recently found out that none of the neighbour's family talk to her because they accuse her of rewriting her own mother's will and having done off with the total family inheritance when her own mother died.

We are a bit worried that she could have taken my mum to a solicitor to do this and there is apparently no legal way of finding out if this is the case.

The only thing you can do is register all your worries (keep records of who you contact and when and all the money that's going missing) so that if the neighbour produces a will in her favour, you have a history of concerns about her behaviour.

theoretica

Saratoga241 wrote: »

No, the neighbour has convinced her that myself and my sister are trying g to take away her independence.

Sounds like she needs rather less independence, I'm afraid.