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Saving for..?

edited 30 November -1 at 12:00AM in How much have you saved?
237 replies 16.8K views
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  • savingwannabesavingwannabe Forumite
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    Well done Jenny on the cooking and also bargain food shopping and savings and applying for jobs.

    I am just going to say throw this out there I hope it is ok. I hope it is nothing but I have to say it. I hope when he commented on your weight he was being complementary - many of us would love to be svelt like you honey. Noone apart from your dr have a right to say anything that causes you to feel upset or doubt yourself.
    Trying to be frugal 18/31Jan; 15/29 Feb 26/31 March 23/30 April 18/31 May 20/300 Jun NSDs.
    Saving change in money box.
  • JennyJukesJennyJukes Forumite
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    Thanks, I appreciate the concern but it was nothing at all.

    I have body dysmorphia and I see myself as having skinny legs and arms but fat everywhere else. I'll talk about this to my boyfriend and he ALWAYS tells me I have an amazing slim but curvy body. I tell him my thoughts/worries because I trust that he will put my mind at ease or make me feel better. Anyone else would tell me I'm skinny and being stupid and not really understand that it's a mental disorder and wouldn't be helpful at all and I don't want that bother. He just said out of concern that I looked skinnier because when I'm in a bad place I tend to not eat very well.

    Funny thing is it's actually me that pokes fun at his legs - they are SO skinny. He is broad on top but his legs are extremely skinny even when he does exercises. It's a joke to us - my weight never is.

    My boyfriend isn't the most tactful of people and he does say things as he sees it but it's very rarely hurtful as it's the motive for saying it that counts. He's not perfect but he does learn when I tell him he has said/done something hurtful. After my last relationship I have decided I absolutely will never let a man make me feel small or inferior again - I would rather be single than put up with anyone that made me feel like crap. I know that I'm still young and attractive enough to find someone else but my boyfriend does make me feel great about myself and he's been a very vital part in my recovery the past 2 years.

    It's good for me to know I am looking skinnier than usual or am losing weight because I didn't realise and now I understand that I haven't been eating great at lunchtime and my routine and diet has been put to the wayside whilst I've been dealing with other things. I'll be making more of an effort with my health.

    I am genetically underweight - my mum and her sisters were all underweight until they hit menopause. I have done that 23andme and some other genetic tests and they ALL say I am genetically predisposed to be underweight! I've tried all sort of protein powders and high calories diets but I have never not been underweight. But when I was with my ex I was an unhealthy underweight then when I left him and since being with my current boyfriend I have put on weight because I have been looking after myself. Losing weight indicates something is going wrong in my life so I'm glad he pointed it out

    I have grown up all my life having my weight be insulted and then told it's a "compliment" so I really do know the difference between an insult and a comment/concern and my boyfriend is aware of that. It was said out of concern. I do still get told to "eat cake" by colleagues when I complain I'm cold and it does get really exhausting having to explain I don't gain weight easily and I need to take care of my diet because diabetes is strong in my family and I'm borderline diabetic. Not that anyone believes me because they assume being skinny means fit and healthy. Basically, yes, people should keep their nose out unless they have a real concern. My Drs do weigh me every time they see me and ask about my eating habits but I've never had an eating disorder. They do ask "you weight X, did you know that makes you underweight" ........ yup.......... painfully aware lol.

    Anyhoo, thanks again for the concern but rest assured aint nobody going to make me feel bad about myself for things I can't control (I usually do that enough to myself!)

    P.S: The Chicken Jalfrezi was a success, didn't have any rice but plenty of potatoes which I roasted and tastes absolutely amazing in the sauce.
    Saving for:
    Emergency Fund: Complete :j
    House Deposit: On-Going
    Second-Hand Replacement Car: On-Going
    And whatever else the future brings... :)
  • savingwannabesavingwannabe Forumite
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    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts
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    Bless you! I realise I posted twice as I thought I had lost one of the posts! So glad he is supportive. You are lovely don't forget it.

    PS I really want a curry. I had salmon parcels and rice. But I really want a curry. I might cook one v soon.
    Trying to be frugal 18/31Jan; 15/29 Feb 26/31 March 23/30 April 18/31 May 20/300 Jun NSDs.
    Saving change in money box.
  • JennyJukesJennyJukes Forumite
    314 posts
    100 Posts First Anniversary I won, I won, I won!
    ✭✭
    Bless you! I realise I posted twice as I thought I had lost one of the posts! So glad he is supportive. You are lovely don't forget it.

    PS I really want a curry. I had salmon parcels and rice. But I really want a curry. I might cook one v soon.
    Boyfriend is Indian so I'll hopefully be getting plenty tips on curry when he's here. I really enjoyed a Chana Puri dish when I was at an Indian restaurant recently and he asked his Mom to teach him so he can make me it when he comes here (in 1 month!) :D

    Luckily he's very adventurous - he grew up in a Muslim country and his parents are Hindu therefore Vegetarian (and also don't eat garlic, onion OR eggs!) so he hasn't been able to eat much meaty products. When he's here he wants to try Haggis and some deep fried foods :p I'll also get in some black and white pudding as those are my favourite foods and I'd love him to try! Oh... he's also never ate brussel sprouts! I LOVE! brussel sprouts. Gonna have a lot of fun teaching each other and learning new things together :)
    Saving for:
    Emergency Fund: Complete :j
    House Deposit: On-Going
    Second-Hand Replacement Car: On-Going
    And whatever else the future brings... :)
  • savingwannabesavingwannabe Forumite
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    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts
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    I am an Indian lol. I can only make one curry but my mum says they are kind of all the same recipe. lol. My parents are vegetarian and don't eat eggs but do eat onion and garlic. lol.

    Yum to British food. I love it. We were raised on British food. oMG Brussel sprouts - the only thing I don't like lol.
    Trying to be frugal 18/31Jan; 15/29 Feb 26/31 March 23/30 April 18/31 May 20/300 Jun NSDs.
    Saving change in money box.
  • Important update! We have recently reviewed and updated our Forum Rules and FAQs. Please take the time to familiarise yourself with the latest version.
  • JennyJukesJennyJukes Forumite
    314 posts
    100 Posts First Anniversary I won, I won, I won!
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    Oh interesting!

    My boyfriend grew up in Dubai and in multicultural schools so he is very westernised. We don't have any cultural clashes as he himself is not religious and we have the same values and views but his parents are very traditional and weren't very approving of our relationship to begin with. I haven't yet met them and would love to be able to connect with them in some way but that's for the boyfriend to navigate. So if you have any words of wisdom or advice in the meantime feel free :o

    Not sure if I mentioned but I am 5 years older than him. He is finishing up University and is still financially dependent on his parents so we have to play by their rules if we want to see each other.
    Saving for:
    Emergency Fund: Complete :j
    House Deposit: On-Going
    Second-Hand Replacement Car: On-Going
    And whatever else the future brings... :)
  • edited 9 August 2019 at 9:16AM
    savingwannabesavingwannabe Forumite
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    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts
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    edited 9 August 2019 at 9:16AM
    Hello my dear the advice I can give is to be happy and eventually they will come round if they are that strict. The parents in Dubai must be used to mixed race relationships I would have thought.

    Just be happy that's the most important thing. :T:):j:beer:
    Trying to be frugal 18/31Jan; 15/29 Feb 26/31 March 23/30 April 18/31 May 20/300 Jun NSDs.
    Saving change in money box.
  • JennyJukesJennyJukes Forumite
    314 posts
    100 Posts First Anniversary I won, I won, I won!
    ✭✭
    It is multicultural there but actually I didn't see any other mixed race relationships the two times I went. White people didn't look twice at us, nor did the arab population but other Indians looked, I think out of curiosity. His parents don't tend to mix and stick with other Hindu Indians.

    I think they have accepted though that he is an adult and they have benefited from him growing up in a western world and this is part of it. One of his friends commented that my boyfriend must be ashamed of his race to date outside of it but most of his other friends have dated outside of their race. We haven't had any issues from my family/friends (just some misinformed ignorant but well intended comments from the elder generation). I never think about our race it's usually other people that bring it up - I'm usually too preoccupied with our age gap :o No-one has ever mentioned that too - he looks older than he is and I look younger. My mom was 6 years older than my dad though they didn't last long.

    Surveys have been picking up for me since yesterday though have had to return some because I didn't have specific things eg certain emails so hopefully it keeps up. It's absolutely chucking it down here so hopefully my clients don't want to go out too much as I don't much like driving in this. Can't wait to get home and cuddle into bed. Think we're going to watch a movie together online for our anniversary date, its been a while since we had quality time as we've both been really busy.

    £5 from prolific received and into savings :j
    Tomorrow is cancelling Virgin Media and setting up a new provider day. Cleaning out the fridge. General tidy up.
    Also need to get a haircut appointment as I have a wedding in 2 weeks and my boyfriend coming back. My hair is getting long and heavy so needs a little thinning or layering. Really need something new done as it sort of just sits there doing nothing.
    Saving for:
    Emergency Fund: Complete :j
    House Deposit: On-Going
    Second-Hand Replacement Car: On-Going
    And whatever else the future brings... :)
  • JennyJukesJennyJukes Forumite
    314 posts
    100 Posts First Anniversary I won, I won, I won!
    ✭✭
    Yeeeep

    Received my final rent balance from my previous tenancy. £123.86 due within 14 days. I'm paying it straight out with my savings because I can. I expected this. I still have a gas/electricity bill outstanding and am actually quite concerned it hasn't come because I told them I moved out a month ago so hopefully not getting charged for something I'm not using or for someone elses! I did cancel the DD and received post saying I need to pay any bills within 14 days but haven't received any and they've closed down my online account... Might be one to call next week.

    I think it's now £230.19 into savings and £514.23 out for this pay period so -£284.04. I did last month realise how much I have been taking out was more than I was putting in and that was my lightbulb moment I guess. The hardest part is going to be sticking to entertainment budgets when my boyfriend is here because I get tempted to just spend and "treat yourself" with him but he will at least be similarly budgeting and careful about his money. We've discussed this and happy to stick to a budget each month.

    I had seen in B&Ms that they were doing a promotion where you get a cinema ticket for each 10 stars you collect. One £1.99 bag of maltesters, minstrels or m&ms was 5 stars so 2 packets would get you a cinema ticket and snacks. Sadly this promotion has actually ended despite them still selling the promotional packs but would be really great if they brought it back.

    Oh well, it's my weekend :j:beer: Let's see how much success I have with Virgin Media and finding a new provider tomorrow..
    Saving for:
    Emergency Fund: Complete :j
    House Deposit: On-Going
    Second-Hand Replacement Car: On-Going
    And whatever else the future brings... :)
  • savingwannabesavingwannabe Forumite
    15.2K posts
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    Well done on earnings from surveys I didn't do any this holiday and don't know where the time went. lol.

    His parents should come round. My sister who is Indian married someone of White British origin and my parents love him more than they love my sister. lol. If his parents have any sense should come round even if they have been a bit slow I am so sorry for this. It depends I think on their education level I think. Luckily my parents are v integrated. They have to be all my friends are gay men and they are my family mum and dad agree.

    I have struggled with my budget too as it's my holiday luckily I haven't done v much. Well done on you doing the surveys. Hopefully you will make up for it v soon.

    Good luck with Virgin Media tomorrow.
    Trying to be frugal 18/31Jan; 15/29 Feb 26/31 March 23/30 April 18/31 May 20/300 Jun NSDs.
    Saving change in money box.
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