My 25 Months Challenge

Tahlullah.H

Hi Stripey. I wanted to say that I always find your posts really liberating. They are fun and set the tone of where you want to be without being bogged down with the minutiae. I think that in itself should be celebrated.

At the same time, I could have easily written your first paragraph about work. I am going through the same thing and feel the same way, with no 'fantastic opportunity' on the horizon. So, I plod away, like you, doing what I must but I have definitely lost the drive. And I am not sure I can get it back. I definitely feel that adults should be allowed to take retirement packages as early as they wish. Admittedly, if you are left with very little to live on by doing so, then perhaps it was an unwise move. But if you feel you would prefer to do this for your positive mental health, it should be allowed. And it would give the younger generation a chance to get a job that is perhaps being held by someone who no longer has any interest in it.

At NO STAGE should you feel like a failure. Perhaps you should just look at it as if you are not a classic fit for the role, but a failure, no. Anyway, I wish you luck with the job hunt. Right now, I am attempting to summon the enthusiasm to check The Guardian for last week! That's how demotivated I am in the whole job search malarkey.

And what a fantastic thing to notice - the sky was pretty. I have been staring at the trees for a while because the colors are outstanding. I love Autumn because of the trees, and the Starlings murmurating. Is that a word? Anyway, they are astoundingly beautiful and it is good to stop and watch.

You are doing fine. When you can still appreciate the beauty around you, all is still well in your world.

I hope you enjoyed your tea.

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

Tahlullah - thank you so much for your kind words and understanding. i'm really sorry we both seem to be in the same position in how we feel about our jobs - i really do hope we both find something fab soon - or win loads of money

I am trying to take notice of the nice things in a day so that i can appreciate there are good things. this is an attempt to stop me feeling too low

Murmurating should definitely be a word :T & i love the colours too - although i'm mainly seeing and appreciating silhouettes at the moment x

Tea was good thank you - and even better as leftovers today

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

Today i've spent 1.5 hours commuting (45 mins each way) to work for 2 hours. i do aim to be punctual so i obviously arrive slightly earlier than this so we're talking 3 hours 45 mins for 2 hours of pay - and on top of that is the time spent getting ready for work too. Petrol cost taken up by the first hour of work...

Work wasn't great and i left feeling pretty low about things - managed to hold off the tears for today!

I got home and applied for a new job - and cannot attend the interview - it was a temp role.

Far too ill to exercise today - hoping wellness will return soon.

Better things

so onto better things.

I drove home and noticed beautiful silhouettes of trees:)

I joined the grocery challenge to focus the mind and purse strings it feels good to do this

I didn't spend any money

i selected a top to part with - 1 of 25 items for my challenge :T

i ate leftovers so no food wasted

Whoops tea read very late after 4 hours application so i'll have to go.

Hope all are well & i hope to pop round to everyone soon

Tahlullah.H

You realise something is fundamentally wrong when work brings you to tears.

I have nothing to add. Of course you do.

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

Tahlullah.H wrote: »

You realise something is fundamentally wrong when work brings you to tears.

I have nothing to add. Of course you do.

Thanks Tahlullah but it's not just the job - it's where i am in my life now. I'm unhappy in the job and i think that would be the same of this role wherever it was; i'm unhappy with my home; i'm just upset thinking 'how am i in this position?' Doesn't help when (good and well meaning) family tell you you've only got yourself to blame - others may have contributed to where you are but it is you who needs to sort it out - as though getting a new job i'd love would be that easy - sorry to moan, just trying to explain x

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

Hello all

Quick post whilst making tea and washing to do and pots to do and this seems to be my life at the moment as i'm pretty sure i'm repeating myself...

Good things

today was an NSD - paid to post parcels but buyer really paid so nsd in tact

packed lunch taken to work

picked up a freebie i wanted :T

despite being late to an appointment - the worst traffic! i was still seen by the lovely nhs :T

made the effort to talk to someone a little more to find out a bit more about them

decided to join a decluttering thread - if i can find it again

i saw a rainbow on the way to work

All i can think of for now - best get on with jobs. Pleased to be using things we have and avoiding both spending and waste where possible :T Been invited out to a celebration - usually i'd feel the need to look the absolute best i can - hair / make-up / clothes - realised no need to spend on these things - yes i would be happier if i could afford to have my hair done regularly (usually a trim once a year now and i may do it myself in future). I don't like it reality is i can't afford it and other things are more important. Same with make-up - friend bought an eye-liner worth more than most of make-up :eek: Yes, i like good make-up and can see the difference but i am making do. Outfit - i'm a bit of a podge right now so don't want to spend on clothes anyway (other than second hand bargains as, clothes are a requirement - don't want to scare people :rotfl:)

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

Well i'm not sure if it is the same for other people starting this journey but i am finding i am addressing lots of things and not just the mortgage balance or finances. I have not been looking after myself well at all and this needs to stop. Therefore, i need to start again with a few things and in some cases just start. I need to decide the type of person i want to be so lots of mulling over and lots of conscious decisions to be made. Today is a fresh day and a new start.Time to look forward and live the life i choose. Mentioning this here to remind myself and because i may be popping in with updates of where change has occurred. It's a bit like a light bulb moment for me and my life which has been definitely flickering but is now glowing bright.

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

I remembered the other day that is is a MFW diary so i paid a small payment off my mortgage to round it down to a nice round number, Since then mortgage has been paid and interest has happened so i paid just short of £10 today to round the balance down again.

My financial targets are still the same - Mortgage Free / possibly neutral and clearing all other debt. So i've been focusing on the credit card rather than mortgage as it is a bundle of things together and the cards are causing me some worry. Balances are due to various things - several redundancies, needing a new car and not having the funds in place for it and urgent house maintenance. It is what it is and i am not going to dwell on the past, as stated before, but i am starting here looking forward and making changes to make this the life i want to live

I am looking at increasing my earnings - i applied for a job the other day and was only invited to an interview right at the end of the process. Unfortunately i couldn't attend at that time and my email to request a more suitable time was not responded to. That's ok. I tried and i am considering a few possibilities for increasing my income at the moment.

I have joined a decluttering thread and the grocery challenge so i must update on these now and then on with pots, grocery shopping and then some decluttering. I cannot go all out at this today as i am not feeling 100% but steps forward are still steps forward :T

Quick question - does everyone use kitchen roll or is there a substitute? i can only think rags but we really do not have anywhere to store such things in our tiny home. I've noticed this is an expensive item on shopping.

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

Small steps are being made slowly but surely :T

I had a few job to do but have cut my hand - nothing nasty but i need to stop doing things to let it heal - because every time i think 'oh i'll just do...' it is too early as plaster starts seeping. So trying on clothes to part with / doing pots / moving washing all need to wait until another time.

7 items decluttered prior to this - a couple of decorations and clothes :T

Hope all are well and having a good weekend

savingholmes

Hi Stripey - I don't use much kitchen roll but must admit I do like buying wipes...

On the job front - I would prioritise working out what makes you happy in a job - and then find something doing that. Spell it out on paper as if you were buying a new car. Exactly what you are looking for task wise but also location, office environment, the type of people you want to work with... I did that 9 years ago - and found a job the same night and started in it 3 weeks later. They kept me on, promoted me etc and it all worked out really well. Before that I was in a job I detested - and yes it knocked my self-esteem for a while.

I think your immediate interview offer was a really positive sign even if that particular job didn't work out...