Being taken to court Child not going to school

sebastianj

Dear all.
A 12 year old child refuses to go to school, when I insist she becomes violent. I now have to appear infront of a panel and may be taken to court. I have recently got a part time job and am worried I may loose my job.

I have no idea how to handle this, who to speak to or what do. Any one out there who can help as an urgent matter. Please.
A very desperate lady.

MovingForwards

Have you sat down and asked her?

Is there something going on at school/home that is worrying her?

Has she gone to a school her junior school friends haven't?

Have you considered changing school?

Have you discussed it with the school?

sebastianj

Thanks, I have done everything possible Social Services have been involved, they haven't been able to convince her either. She just does not care anymore. I have her stress and now court... I don't know what more can I do?

BrassicWoman

"A child" - what is she to you? Sister, daughter, foster kid?

Is it your child you have raised for 12 years or one new to you? How they feel about you changes your options.

sebastianj

This is a child of a separate lady otherwise I would have stated it. If you have any experience in the matter then please give an advice. Thanks

happyandcontented

sebastianj wrote: »

This is a child of a separate lady otherwise I would have stated it. If you have any experience in the matter then please give an advice. Thanks

If the query is for someone else why is the OP written from your perspective and in the first person?

Leaving that aside, is the child under CAHMS? does she have any ASD issues? could there be bullying? There must be an underlying reason but unless you can uncover it you can't move forward.

Failing that, could she be homeschooled for a period to allow the heat to be taken out of the situation?

ToxicWomble

It was a very valid question. Is this child your dependant ?
If not, I can’t see how you can be held liable for her behaviour

kingfisherblue

sebastianj wrote: »

Dear all.
A 12 year old child refuses to go to school, when I insist she becomes violent. I now have to appear infront of a panel and may be taken to court. I have recently got a part time job and am worried I may loose my job.

I have no idea how to handle this, who to speak to or what do. Any one out there who can help as an urgent matter. Please.
A very desperate lady.

I assume that you have parental responsibility for this child. Has anything changed in her life, to trigger this change? My daughter went through a period of school refusal just after she turned 14. Her dad had left us three months earlier, and she had a medical issue. He decided one day not to come with us to an appointment, and from the next day, she refused to go to school. It turned out that she felt that her dad had abandoned her, and she didn't want to come home and find that I had done the same thing (I never would have, and deep down she knew it, but it still worried her enough to want to stay at home). So finding out why she doesn't want to go may be important, so that you can help her.

What is the school's stance on this? With my daughter, they arranged for me to take her in when I was able to get her there each day - I have two younger children, one with severe disabilities, so I also had to sort everything out with them first. School were very understanding, and a learning mentor met us each day. We then spent some time in a quiet room, and I left once my daughter felt safe. The LM stayed with her during lessons and my daughter was able to ring me during breaks. She was allowed to spend the breaks in the quiet room. This went on for three weeks until the end of the school year. I was dreading September, but she went off to school on the day that they were due back, and at the right time, and we didn't have any problems after that. It was two years later that I found out that she was worried about abondonment.

So, what does school say? Are they supportive to the child and to you? How long has this been happening?

Have you tried to discuss her refusal and her violence at times other than school time? Maybe over the weekend when she is more relaxed? Does she realise that her actions could have serious consequences? Is there anyone else who can talk to her? Violence seems a bit extreme, but there could be a reason behind it. You may want to ask your GP or Social Services for help - I know that involving Social Services might not be a popular view, but they can be helpful, and it may be worth considering. If the panel see that you are actively seeking help, it may go in your favour. I don't know if it is possible, but could you ask the panel who to turn to for support?

BrassicWoman

sebastianj wrote: »

This is a child of a separate lady otherwise I would have stated it. If you have any experience in the matter then please give an advice. Thanks

the advice for you depends entirely on your role in the child's life.

the advice for the lady requires her to post herself and give some proper background; three lines won't do it.

sebastianj

Many thanks kingfisherblue. A similar situation like yours exists here. The child misses her dad who doesn't want to know her. The social services are aware of the situation but the Council legal rep. Says it is the law for the child to be in school, impression is given that they don't care how it is done.
After listening to the lady, I was trying to find a solution, for her. Home schooling could be an answer but I don't know how that will be implied. I am trying to help.

Mojisola

sebastianj wrote: »

Many thanks kingfisherblue. A similar situation like yours exists here. The child misses her dad who doesn't want to know her. The social services are aware of the situation but the Council legal rep. Says it is the law for the child to be in school, impression is given that they don't care how it is done.
After listening to the lady, I was trying to find a solution, for her. Home schooling could be an answer but I don't know how that will be implied. I am trying to help.

Not so - children have to be educated. It's only if the parents put them on the school roll that they have to attend.

Home schooling may well be the answer - even if only for a time until the problems settle down.

There will probably be a group of Home Schoolers in the area - it would be worth her Mum making contact with them.