Can't stop thinking about partner's deception

System

unholyangel wrote: »

I've never been the jealous type, even if a bit of flirting was involved. If they're going to cheat, they'll cheat.

And everybody is capable of cheating. Right time, place, situation. No one is immune. In a relationship, you have to work on your game and being the best version of yourself to give yourself the best possible chance of success. OP did the classic "my feelings are hurt, therefore I want to modify my partner's behaviour, rather than my own". Which leads to resentment, which marinates overtime and blows up to huge proportions. OP's partner is quite possibly hiding a lot of things he possibly doesn't even need to in a NORMAL relationship all because OP couldn't handle a situation like an adult and in a correct manner.


Jordan Peterson said something like this: "you want people like this out in the open because as soon as you try and censor or modify or stamp out using force, you drive it underground, where it cannot be seen as easily"

Pollycat wrote: »

You are going to drive him away.

He checked out a while ago IMO

pollypenny

Sounds like an outline for a sloppy novel. Universities have finished for summer.

Am I being cynical?

gabriel1980

He probably did have feelings for the colleague and if he hasn't cheated on you, he was probably considering it. Think about it, you're having a go at him whether he's cheating or not, so he might as well cheat so he gets the pleasure as well as the row, rather than just the row.

username901

Poor bloke. Make him unhappy by bowing in to your demands, or make him unhappy by you guilt tripping him