B-Day Present for friend

gabriel1980

My mate and I have exchanged gives for our respective birthdays for a few years now. Now we are two guys in our thirties, which does seem strange. I don't buy presents for any of my other friends, so I'm not sure how this started with this particular friend (we're not even that close). Maybe it was a big birthday, like a 30th, where you might buy your mate a present.

Anyway, back to now and it was his birthday last week. I decided that I would wish him happy birthday, but forgo buying a present. I think it's a bit strange and he has a family (new born baby etc) and thought he'd maybe just take the hint and we can stop this gift-giving weirdness.

Lo and behold a couple of days after he texts me asking where his birthday present was. Now, I did actually lose my wallet around this time and was awaiting all new cards to like buy stuff, so I couldn't buy him a present even if I wanted to.

So, now he keeps texting asking when my new cards have arrived so I can buy his present. I'm at a loss of what to do here. I don't really want to lose his friendship, but I also don't particularly want to buy him a present, also despite the fact that I am kinda hard up this month. I have offered to take him for a pint, but he was non-committal about that. I'm guessing he's awaiting his playstation gift-card.

Any ideas?

[Deleted User]

How strange a grown family man wanting / pressuring for a gift.


I also only exchange gifts with one friend and we buy each other a meal on the day aswell but we are both happy with this.


If its not for you I think you may have to say , look lets knock this on the head shall we, you have a new family and I have xyz


Hopefully he'll agree. The only potential prob if he is really shallow is that the timing of this is at a time when its his birthday.

suejb2

Someone asking where his present is!

He is super rude. If you need an excuse say now he has a family his money is best spent on his child and not to bother getting each other anymore gifts.

rach_k

Although he sounds like a rude child for asking in the first place, if you told him you were waiting for new cards it's reasonable of him to think you are going to get him something. It's still rude of him to ask!

I'd get him something small, a token gift like a silly bar of chocolate or a bottle of something (cheap) that he likes. If he's not impressed, that's tough. Next year, you can do the same and spend a few pounds or you can suggest - before your next birthday - that you don't do presents any more.

MovingForwards

Why are you bothered about a friend you are not particularly close to?

Just ignore him and his request for a present, he needs to grow up!

Mojisola

gabriel1980 wrote: »

I decided that I would wish him happy birthday, but forgo buying a present.

So, now he keeps texting asking when my new cards have arrived so I can buy his present. I'm at a loss of what to do here.

Any ideas?

Yes, tell him that you're not buying a present and don't expect him to buy you one from now on.

He can't read your mind and know that you've decided to stop exchanging presents!

Doodles

Don't feel bullied into buying a present, and don't feel like you have to even answer the question!

To keep asking 'where's my present' is quite childlike really.

I think taking him for a pint is a nice idea though. If he does raise the question face to face, just be casual about it along the lines of "oh I'm cutting back on birthdays and Christmas for everyone to be honest" and change the subject.

onwards&upwards

He is rude, but I do think it would have been better to start the no presents thing on your turn to receive not his!

Tigsteroonie

"Let's be grown-ups and not bother, eh?"

eamon

Is it Christmas card season yet?

ska_lover

Just tell him you wish to stop

'Let's just stop this present buying now, shall we?'

End.