In a pickle over splitting assets!!!

MADDY1974

Help! (on behalf of a male friend) brief introduction / explanation...

Three years ago I was living with my partner of 20 years and our two sons aged 4 and 7. After being made redundant and an awful lot of saving I paid off her debts and our mortgage in full and took us on the holiday of a lifetime. On the way home on the plane my now ex informed me she'd being sleeping around and wanted me to move out (not looking for sympathy just serious advice!). Needless to say I was devastated and went to stay with my mum to try and clear my head. My ex said she was looking for a flat and I could have the house (I'd paid an extra 40k approx). I didn't want my sons distressing anymore so I stayed at my mums and had my boys almost 4 nights a week and sometimes more when she needed a baby sitter. I also paid her a small amount per week to help out (I only work 28 hours per week due to being ill). It turned out amicable. Until she got greedy and decided to set the CSA on me and I'm now paying 180 and have the boys 2 nights per week because she dictates everything 😢

So I need a home. How do i stand with the house? I've told her I'm happy to take 50% even thought I paid thousands more. She agreed to buy me out and now she's changed her mind. She's sold our jointly owned camper van and kept all the money. I left her a new vw golf and old convertable one. She's sold one of the cars and kept the money also. She has got all our furniture and appliances I have just the clothes on my back.

Can I force sale of the house?
Or can I charge her rent on my half? And back rent for the past 3 years?
Or can I move back in?
Is it worth taking her to court?

I've had legal advice to the sum of £1000 and got no where and still know nothing 😐😳

I've been paying £300 per month rent since we seperated and she hasnt had to pay a penny. She got everything. I nearly died from pneumonia 18 months ago and it's been a slow recovery. I'm now well again and need to get a home for myself and the boys.

Any advice or direction would be appreciated. Thanks

DUTR

Are you paying child support though?
What did your mates say about the situation?

MADDY1974

Yes. He's paying the full child support amount as dictated by the child support agency in addition to buying all there shoes and things because she doesn't spend anything on the kids.

All his friends and family are fuming and just keep telling him to move back home to make her life hell. He wants to do the legal thing as he hasn't got a bad bone in his body.

DUTR

MADDY1974 wrote: »

Yes. He's paying the full child support amount as dictated by the child support agency in addition to buying all there shoes and things because she doesn't spend anything on the kids.

All his friends and family are fuming and just keep telling him to move back home to make her life hell. He wants to do the legal thing as he hasn't got a bad bone in his body.

He has though! being a mug is nothing good to be proud about, I'm surprised nobody seen any of this coming.

chesky

Back bone, not bad bone.

chesky

No, I apologise, that was unkind. But I can't believe his visits to a solicitor haven't armed him with proper and legal information which he needs to implement.

DUTR

chesky wrote: »

No, I apologise, that was unkind. But I can't believe his visits to a solicitor haven't armed him with proper and legal information which he needs to implement.

Don't you suspect this thread is a wind up?

DrivingMissDaisy

I would suggest your friend continue paying rent and also offer to pay for the new partner's expenses. Ensure the ex-partner doesn't have to worry about rent and food. Your friend could take up a second job to support this arrangement.

tacpot12

It might be useful to understand why she pulled out of the idea of buying the property. If there was something that could be done to make this happen, this could be a good result.

If the male friend is paying £180 per week (it's not clear that this is what is happening but this is a lot - they will be earning over £75k pa), then his ex should be able to afford to buy him out, and if she can afford to buy, buying is better than renting. Equally, he should be able to afford this. If it is £180 per calendar month (so he will be earning £16-18K pa), then she can't afford to buy him out, but the £180 pcm is not much to pay in child maintenance. (I was paying £510 pcm five years ago!).

If she won't buy him out, he can't charge her rent, he just has to allow her to live there rent free.

There is no point going to court. Highly unlikely the court will award the male friend possession unless they also contribute enough to allow the ex to rent somewhere to live - so perhaps another £300 pcm.

He could move back into the property and live there himself. Some couples can make this work (ground rules are needed), but I expect his ex will claim he has abused her and call the police, who are likely to remove him without taking his legal rights into account. He could go into the property while she is out, and change the locks, but she can do the same to him while he is out (and the police won't attend unless he assaults the locksmith or her), and it takes a strong willed person to make their children homeless - the council won't rehome them as they have somewhere they can legally occupy.

The best option here is mediation; and potentially the best outcome that can be achieved via mediation is a legally binding agreement on how much of the equity in the property each of them owns and when the property will be sold. It is not unreasonable to expect/require the property to be sold when the youngest child is 19. At that point, the friend would receive his equity share. A solicitor will be need by both parties to make the agreement that has been agreed at mediation legally binding. The male friend is going to have to find somewhere cheap to live; the boys will have to rough it because neither of them earns enough to buy the other a house to live in.

kazwookie

Move back in

Change solicitors

Mojisola

Go on the Wikivorce site to learn about divorce and division of assets and child support and join a group like Families Need Fathers for support.