Locked in my garden by my neighbour

Mojisola

RomC wrote: »

When one of us was leaving, he saw that the door was locked from the outside. There is no other way out of the garden.

One is a 60 yo man with an injured leg and the other a 68 yo woman some bad arthritis. If the elderly woman was there by herself she would be locked in there until someone came back from work.

Until this problem is sorted out, I wouldn't go out into the back garden without having my mobile with me.

RomC

Rusty_Shackleton wrote: »

RomC,it helps for others to follow the thread if you click the quote button on the message you're replying to, that way we see a copy of the original post just as A Turners churlish reply to you is at the top of this post

Anyway, to the matter in hand...
It's good that you recognise the notes were perhaps passive aggressive, but then you go on to say a better-worded note probably would've been fine - NO! any note is going to have come across as passive aggressive, it's not the content that's the problem, but the chosen medium!

If you feel you can do so, go and politely speak to the neighbour. Try to approach the situation as that you don't know it was them, and perhaps say that you're speaking to everyone in the building to ask that others are careful when locking that door due to your concerns about someone, potentially vulnerable, being put at risk.

Don't suggest it was your neighbour and don't suggest it was malicious or intentional. Give them the benefit of the doubt and give them an easy route to behaving like an adult, that doesn't cause them to lose face (e.g. suggest the door was locked by someone with good intentions who didn't know others were outside).

If littering continues or there are other door-locking incidents, again calmly approach the neighbour and raise the issue and ask them to stop the offending behaviour (and explain why you believe they're responsible, asking if it was them and if so, why). Only if you receive an unsatisfactory response and no change in behaviour should you escalate it. As others have pointed out, document these steps.

While I appreciate they've behaved pretty appallingly, in their mind they might just think they're retaliating for the passive aggressive welcome they've received. It doesn't matter what the truth is, what you want to do is be nice to them so their behaviour won't be seen as acceptable even in their own eyes. It doesn't always work, but it has the best chance of working without things becoming much more unpleasant for a considerable amount of time.

Much better to turn this person into a good (or even just acceptable) neighbour, than go the route of warfare trying to get them evicted, and possibly ending up with another nightmare neighbour anyway!

I also appreciate the above is easier said than done, but it's the best approach


no, it's not. For it to be a criminal offence there has to be intent, and even if you knew absolutely this neighbour locked the door, there's no way the intent was to lock people out. If the person to lock them out was a building employee like a caretaker, they might have a duty of care, and so putting people at risk *might* be a criminal offence depending on the circumstances.

Thank you for your advice. I'll be doing that. I spoke to the police as well that advised me to put a note on the basement door saying "Please ensure that no one is in the garden before locking this door". They also asked me to tell my elderly neighbour to have her phone with her when in the garden (she does sometimes but seem to forget it a lot) and if she can't get hold of a neighbour to phone 101. I'll also try to check on her as much as possible and will ask other neighbours to do so as well. We are a closed community in this building (most of us are owners) and we help each other out as much as we can. I'll also ask them to stop the passive agressive notes, this isn't helping anyone.
I'll not be contacting the landlord at this instance and will only do so if these steps don't work and/or things escalate.
Again, thank you for your time writting the reply and your advice.

JustRi

Hi
I think everyone’s getting hung up on the notes being passive aggressive.
My understanding is that the notes have been put up on the main entrance door for all to see and not on a particular persons door.
The original poster can correct me if this is the case or not.
Putting notes on main entrance doors or communal notice boards are quite common to pass information on to all residents of what is acceptable or perceived to be acceptable or not acceptable/perceived to be not acceptable.

RomC

JustRi wrote: »

Hi
I think everyone’s getting hung up on the notes being passive aggressive.
My understanding is that the notes have been put up on the main entrance door for all to see and not on a particular persons door.
The original poster can correct me if this is the case or not.
Putting notes on main entrance doors or communal notice boards are quite common to pass information on to all residents of what is acceptable or perceived to be acceptable or not acceptable/perceived to be not acceptable.

Yes that is correct. And not addressed to anyone in particular.

Norman_Castle

Ant555 wrote: »

But the OP says the reason the lock was put on there in the first place is to stop drug users from hopping in the garden then opening the door and getting into the basement. If the undesirables could just open the door from the garden then there would be no point in having it.

Most locks need keys.

Mistral001

With neighbours you have to be firm or just ignore them. Leaving notes is not being firm and will be interpreted as a bit feeble or even creepy.

JimmyChanga

Is her baby called Frogmella?

Doozergirl

Get the bolt changed for a lock with keys.

If you take your keys, there's no risk of being locked out.

Nobody *knows* who locked the door or why, so the resolution is purely to stop it happening again.

And to talk to neighbours instead of writing notes. There are ways of wording something without it being an accusation...

Telling someone that something has been happening, that x has been cleaning it up, but could you keep an eye out for anyone doing it. Or maybe a fox got into a rubbish bag and scattered stuff so we're asking people to make sure bin bags go securely in the bins...

Norman_Castle

Its possibly the child throwing things out of the window without the parent knowing. Is it a shared garden? Inviting them to use it may help.

BananaRepublic

JustRi wrote: »

Hi
I think everyone’s getting hung up on the notes being passive aggressive.
My understanding is that the notes have been put up on the main entrance door for all to see and not on a particular persons door.
The original poster can correct me if this is the case or not.
Putting notes on main entrance doors or communal notice boards are quite common to pass information on to all residents of what is acceptable or perceived to be acceptable or not acceptable/perceived to be not acceptable.

I don’t think notes are passive aggressive. Normal respectful people don’t throw cigarette butts into a garden, and throwing a nappy in is gross, and nasty behaviour. Do you know what these people are like? I had a couple of very nasty experiences with neighbours. But I also had a fright from one neighbour who turned out to be pleasant, but an alcoholic and rough looking. That said, most people are pleasant if spoken to nicely. As others have said, why not have a calm chat, explain your concerns about the litter, explain why you think it might be coming from their flat. Has anyone you know ever spoken to them?