18yr old birthday & pocket money

JGB1955

This says it all....
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/profiles/3hL3wJLw0PYkfzHkb58DQ5z/alex-and-darron


Follow their adventure... you will be heartened by their bonding and growth over the series.

Spendless

NaughtiusMaximus wrote: »

re driving lessons - there's no point giving those as a gift unless either the OP or someone else either buys his son a car or insures him as a named driver on their car.

Seems blatantly obvious to me but someone I work with made exactly that mistake, paid for lessons for their daughter who passed her test first time but didn't get behind the wheel of a car again for a couple of years by which time she'd forgotten most of what she'd learnt.

To offer another perspective to this. My son was almost 18 and in his second year of FE college and intending to go to Uni when I had conversations about driving and offspring learning with friends.

Friend 1 has 2 sons, her 1st son learnt to drive at 17, had a car but sold it when he went to Uni as too expensive and not needed. When he did his work placement year that he could drive and got another car was incredibly helpful.

In contrast her 2nd son had not been interested in learning. Now a year away from graduating, she realised he'd be better off knowing how to drive. However unless he started taking lessons in his Uni city, which is far busier than our town and little experience of even being a passenger on the local roads there he'd need to pass his test during the hols when he was home.

Around the same time Friend 1 was telling me all this, Friend 2 whose son had lived at home during Uni but never learnt to drive graduated and was at a disadvantage applying for jobs due to having to limit what he looked for initially.

It was these two conversations that made me book driving lessons for DS. It was never for him to have a car straight away. He doesn't need one and couldn't currently afford to run it. It is purely an investment for the future. Yes, he may well need some 'brush up' lessons at a later date, but I don't anticipate that will take as long as him learning to drive from scratch.

onomatopoeia99

onwards&upwards wrote: »

How long ago was that? Driving lessons aren’t cheap!

33 years. They weren't cheap then, either. £12/hour, which according to ONS data would be about £35/hour nowadays. This was inside the where the M25 now runs and within 3 miles of a tube station, so not the cheapest part of the UK for anything.


Bought and insured my first car at 18, a clapped out, rusting Morris Marina. Did all the work on it myself to keep it going except welding.

onwards&upwards

Spendless wrote: »

To offer another perspective to this. My son was almost 18 and in his second year of FE college and intending to go to Uni when I had conversations about driving and offspring learning with friends.

Friend 1 has 2 sons, her 1st son learnt to drive at 17, had a car but sold it when he went to Uni as too expensive and not needed. When he did his work placement year that he could drive and got another car was incredibly helpful.

In contrast her 2nd son had not been interested in learning. Now a year away from graduating, she realised he'd be better off knowing how to drive. However unless he started taking lessons in his Uni city, which is far busier than our town and little experience of even being a passenger on the local roads there he'd need to pass his test during the hols when he was home.

Around the same time Friend 1 was telling me all this, Friend 2 whose son had lived at home during Uni but never learnt to drive graduated and was at a disadvantage applying for jobs due to having to limit what he looked for initially.

It was these two conversations that made me book driving lessons for DS. It was never for him to have a car straight away. He doesn't need one and couldn't currently afford to run it. It is purely an investment for the future. Yes, he may well need some 'brush up' lessons at a later date, but I don't anticipate that will take as long as him learning to drive from scratch.

Not to mention that a 17 or 18 year old brain seems to learn to drive much more easily than even a 25 or 30 year old one! Everybody I know who learned later in life found it harder than those who did it in those prime learning years when you’re all geared up (no pun intended) for new input.

duchy

mutley74 wrote: »

Hi everyone,
my son will be 18 in a few months. We are a bit estranged from each other

Also when he is 18, is it best to just pay all child maintenance and any other money direct to him so he can manage his own full affairs?

thanks

Do you have a relationship with his grandparents and feel it's a good place for him to live right now? If you do then consider continuing to pay them his CM as his "keep" as otherwise even if they want him to stay he may decide to move out and none of you could stop him.
If he's in education still then even more reason to.
Also paying him an allowance rather than paying child maintainance may give him issues with tax if he also works as your "allowance" would be considered income.

G4OJR

Help to Buy ISA, as unexciting as that seems

mutley74

JGB1955 wrote: »

This says it all....
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/profiles/3hL3wJLw0PYkfzHkb58DQ5z/alex-and-darron


Follow their adventure... you will be heartened by their bonding and growth over the series.

When he was younger we had some great holidays together to the Far East and Spain. Always told him we should go anywhere in the World together in school holidays whilst I am lucky to afford this. Typical lad more interested in gaming than holidays.

Paying for driving lessons of his choice of instructor seems like a good choice.

Kim_kim

JGB1955 wrote: »

My father (soon to be 88 years old) walked the Pennine Way with my brother when he graduated from university, some 30 years ago. It's a memory that they both hold on to, especially as my father now has little mental capacity.


My brother took the same (Pennine Way) route with his son a couple of years ago - so pleasing to see memories being re-worked.


Hopefully, in 30 years time, my nephew will walk the same walk with his own special person.

That sounds brilliant

Loz01

Forget dropping a 1k cheque, I'd book a holiday or weekend away for you both doing something you like. Hiking, the beach or sitting on a sunbed, whatever floats your boat. But time is a quality thing to spend with your son and it beats a wad of money any day.

DrivingMissDaisy

Hmm...so no suggestion to take him out for a drink or two followed by a visit to the strip club ? Since you estranged give him money to go to a pub with few mates and strip club. He will remember that forever