Boyfriend moving in - how to discuss practicalities

Sofi.w.123

Hey,
I am in the same situation as you. My boyfriend moved into my house about 6 weeks ago and it’s been the best thing. No more spending money on petrol or having to go buy breakfast in the morning after staying round his 🙈.
I wouldn’t say we had a big ‘conversation’ regarding finances and definitely didn’t make a date or an appointment with each other. However we are both fairly laid back. I simply asked him what he was paying in rent before and asked him to put this into savings for a wedding/house together. I do trust that he will do this, however I don’t trust his choice in savings account so may well ask him to transfer to me and I will put it in a suitable account (he’s been with the same bank for 15 years lord help me)
With regards to bills I don’t anticipate they will rise that much, so far my energy usage hasn’t changed (I know it’s height of summer) the only thing that will be more is council tax where I was getting single occupancy before. It really is a small price to pay for being able to live together.
My boyfriend had sky tv before so he has that and now pays for our tv and Internet so I cancelled mine.
With food shopping we tend to just split it (I eat more than him 😂😂😂) and when I say split he beats me to the card machine most times 🤷!♀️.
Overall I know some people are really into the detail of who owes what and when but I look at is as I was spending the money on bills anyway but I get the extra bonus of living with my partner and he can save all the wasted rent for our future wedding/house (obviously I save too) this is just my opinion hope it helps!

jjhdee

If you see this working on a longer period of time, you might want to consider getting a cohabitation agreement. It could be too serious and too 'official' right now since you are starting out, but I believe it's better to think about it early or have a plan for it, because as you both get more comfortable living together, years would pass by quickly and it could be an awkward topic to talk about when systems are already in place in your household. This will cover ownership of the house (in case you decide to buy one in the future), different possessions, and even children. People might see this as seeing too far ahead, but if you're serious about the relationship, I say, why not? Here's a quick read on the cohabitation agreement, this helped me understand what it is about: https://www.netlawman.co.uk/ia/cohabitation-agreement

moneysfab

If you're about to re-mortgage then when you do you will have to declare if there are any other adults living in the property. At this point the mortgage company will ask your boyfriend to sign a form to say he has no claim to the house.
I think if he moves in you should tell your existing mortgage company as well, but I'm not 100% sure.

If he pays 'rent' into a savings account - what happens to that if you split up - it sounds like it should be yours, otherwise he would be living rent free.

blue_eyed_girl123

Maybe make it seem like a treat, when my fianc! and I had lots of big wedding decisions to make we took iPad, pads and pens down to our favourite cake shop and made plans over hot chocolate and cake. I know you might not want to discuss money in public so you can always do the same in your house .

We also have an annual "financial meeting" where we go through direct debits etc and discuss savings plans for the year. It's nice to feel organised and that we are headed in the same direction (and less of an issue when we jointly decide we can't afford takeaway etc). We still have separate spending money £250 per month, which does mean we have some freedoms. We tried to do a percentage one before, but felt for us that was an unfair way to do it .

All I would say is, don't be afraid to talk about it, and that cake helps

blue_eyed_girl123

Also, in our house I own the property outright (gifted) and my fianc! isn't on the property. This means though that he can have a LISA for future purposes though. So it's not that he's not on this house, it's that he can get us extra money towards the next house. I don't know if your boyfriend has never owned property before, but this may help, depending on if/when you're looking to move .