Money Moral Dilemma: Should I make my friend pay rent?

Ebenezer_Screwj

She's having a free ride, present her with a bill for rent owing and if she doesn't pay up then she's out.

Roy_The_Boy

Hi Roy here

I would tell her to pay up or do one. Unless she has no money or you're in a relationship with her. :money::money::money:

Bellisima

It depends what was said at the beginning. Was it “You can stay with us until you find your own place”? and no mention of paying some rent?

I think short term is fine, for example we had our granddaughter and boyfriend stay with us for a couple of months (they live in New Zealand) and they used our place as a base whilst they travelled around Europe. I refused rent or money for food as they were my guests, and I knew our son would never ask us for rent if we visited them. But if this has been going on for months then you need to sit down with your friend and ask her to contribute. She’s your best friend so surely you can ask her?

awm49

By all means if it is less than a month I would not charge rent but she obviously understands that living somewhere costs money and is probably waiting for you to bring up the subject - why change the status quo if its in your favour?

A good place to find appropriate rents in your area are the local housing allowance rates set by your council. Simply put in your postcode and it will tell you the appropriate rate to charge for rent in your area.

I would then approach her and say you have been staying for a while and I would like to talk about paying rent if you want to stay here long term. You can than suggest that amount and how you came to it, she can either agree or give her a reasonable amount of time for her to find her own place.

gloriouslyhappy

Depending on how recently 'recently' was, I'd have a chat over a cup of tea and a biscuit, and ask how things are with her. Acknowledging it's a traumatic time for her, and gently discussing long-term plans. Be careful about asking for rent, as that might look like an invitation to stay on a permanent basis with you and your partner, but discussing contribution towards food, cleaning etc, and setting a time limit for more definite plans, say another chat in two weeks. When that time comes, it's either set a move out date, or if happy to have her permanently, start paying rent or move out.

DigForVictory

+1 for pace it according to how recent, but the friendly chat asking how she's doing can't hurt. (And how much has she saved, maybe?)

Sets up future chats & possible help flat hunting.

inigma

You offered to help them in their hour of need now they are taking you for granted. Personally I would put the room to rent online (on the grounds that you've gotten used to have a lodger) offer your friend a 10% discount, otherwise boost your income. In this world there are givers and takers, you are a giver and you need to learn how to establish your rules. This is your flat and she is a guest she needs to accept that and show gratitude.

Speaking from experience, give some people an inch and they'll take you as far as they can.

REJP

Be very careful about charging "rent". This gives her rights as a tenant. Real minefield here.
Do you own your own property or renting or paying mortgage?
If so, you need to check if you can sub-let.
The simple answer is to tell her to contribute to food and utility costs, or to move out.
Please do not give your friend a tenancy agreement whatever you do. That gives her legal rights to stay. If she is not working tell her to go to a lettings agent and find a flat for which she can claim housing benefit. Claiming for living with you creates responsibilities for you as a landlord including Income Tax problems.
So final advice is as stated by many on this forum, tell her to help with some costs, or tell her to leave within a set time.

janelinedancer

I feel if this person is a true friend, they would have offered to 'pay their way' from day one.

Patjan

You don't say whether you are a tenant or a home owner, but either way you should be aware of 'squatting' rights, etc. If you are a tenant yourself, then check you are not violating any part of your tenancy agreement. Other than that, I think a friendly chat is best advice, explaining your position re. her financial non-contribution, that you offered originally on the basis of a temporary stay, etc., etc. You don't say, either, whether she simply sleeps at your place, or does she also have meals: breakfast, or whatever. That sould also be on your 'chat' agenda, in that you are funding her cost of living. Always better to settle things amicably, but if not, then it's probably the big stick.....:)