Money Moral Dilemma: Should I make my friend pay rent?

MSE_Sarah

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My best friend recently moved in with me and my partner after a break-up. We thought it'd be short-term, but she hasn't settled on a new flat yet. We suggested once that if she stays longer-term, she could contribute a small amount (about half 'normal' rent), but this hasn't been mentioned since and she hasn't offered any money.

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onwards&upwards

Give her a date by which time it’s either move out or start paying rent.

I’d ask which you’d prefer to happen, but I know the person with the dilemma probably won’t respond.

MovingForwards

Set her a deadline and that's it.

If you want her to stay them charge proper room rent, or slightly under, and do expect her to move out.

It will probably put a strain on your friendship whatever you do as one party will feel resentful.

gran3

Yes. Pay or go.

JReacher1

Depends how long they’ve been there and how intrusive they are. It’s your best friend and they are going through a bad personal situation.

Personally I would give it 6-8 weeks before I broached the subject of things like rent.

Afourteen

Yes, 33 or 50% after the first four weeks they are stopping with you (even if you give them the money back when they move out - actually it's probably best to as you may be breaking your tenancy agreement)

ajr77

How does your partner feel about it? She's on hard times, but three's a crowd long term, you don't just want to be 3 flatmates. The three of you should sit down together and have a serious conversation. What is her action plan to get new, permanent accommodation? (This is a short term arrangement, right?)
Agree a timescale too. In the meantime, agree what she will contribute to the household - 1/3 of the bills perhaps. Perhaps just food costs and a housework contribution if it's really short term. Good luck!

misswansea

My usual attitude to indefinite stays is:

First two weeks are free

Next two weeks I make it clear that contribution to food costs and household chores is expected

Second month I work out a fair split of household bills, and ask for it

If there is no sign of movement after 3 months I consider how much rent would ameliorate the inconvenience, and ask accordingly.

Keeping this in my head allows me to manage stress and avoid loosing friends to not very subtle nagging.

The one time i got to the 3 month stage I explained how the rent would be used to improve the living arrangement- buying a decent bed and proper wardrobe for the spare room, making minor home improvements that would make it more suitable for shared living. The following day he found out he qualified for subsidised acoomodation through his job, in a more convenient location, and moved out a fortnight later.

If any stage is not accepted, a leaving date is firmly set.

Marvel1

Yes and if she says no, then bye bye.

marich

Ask - don't 'tell her to' .


If she wants to contribute then set a move-out date - say four months for her to get it together . If she doesn't want to pay then tell her she should be out by the end of next week . Be prepared to get tough about this .



It's your place , you didn't move in with her . She has enjoyed shelter but has to make her own arrangements .



Simple enough ? Not a good idea to let her in ! Get her out - !!!!!! her having rights as a rent-payer - get her out , sooner is best !

PhillR

Definitely she should contribute! Either by paying towards rent/amenities or by doing washing/cooking/cleaning.
Friends are friends, but you and your partner are the priority, so work out between you as to what you expect, then time for a friendly chat.
if she's a true friend, then she'll not have a problem with you raising this, (though probably should have thought to sort it herself earlier)
Good Luck: