Would you say something?

Blush_Birdie

I guess I wrote it that way because sometimes we are civil and sometimes we joke around like we used to when we were best friends.

To sum it up, we are mostly civil and sometimes joke around too and have a little laugh.

Blush_Birdie

In response to the question of what exactly I saw, it was this:

The guy was leaning in towards the woman’s neck, I’m assuming he was about to kiss her. When he and the woman saw me, he snapped his neck up super fast, she shoved him away, both looked at me for a second and then both proceeded to run down the staircase they were standing next to.

It’s more the snapping apart and running away that makes me think they knew they were doing something they should not be doing. And maybe a little bit is to do with how close together in proximity they stood.

To the person who said it sounds gossipy to go running and tell my friend, you presume I would do this why? I’m clearly not a gossipy person, I’m asking for others’ opinions on the matter so as not to ‘go running’ and ‘gossip’, but rather make an informed decision about what would be best.

Everyone else — thank you for your kind replies and honest opinions. I appreciate every one of them and can see both sides. I have not said anything to my friend yet, however I have decided I am going to. It was her birthday this past Sunday, I did not want to ruin it as it’s her 25th and she had plans — she was very excited to be celebrating it. I have a lovely work colleague who I confided in about what I saw, she’s going to be coming with me when I tell my friend (this colleague also happens to be more than good friends with this woman).

ska_lover

Blush_Birdie wrote: »

In response to the question of what exactly I saw, it was this:

The guy was leaning in towards the woman’s neck, I’m assuming he was about to kiss her. When he and the woman saw me, he snapped his neck up super fast, she shoved him away, both looked at me for a second and then both proceeded to run down the staircase they were standing next to.

It’s more the snapping apart and running away that makes me think they knew they were doing something they should not be doing. And maybe a little bit is to do with how close together in proximity they stood.

To the person who said it sounds gossipy to go running and tell my friend, you presume I would do this why? I’m clearly not a gossipy person, I’m asking for others’ opinions on the matter so as not to ‘go running’ and ‘gossip’, but rather make an informed decision about what would be best.

Everyone else — thank you for your kind replies and honest opinions. I appreciate every one of them and can see both sides. I have not said anything to my friend yet, however I have decided I am going to. It was her birthday this past Sunday, I did not want to ruin it as it’s her 25th and she had plans — she was very excited to be celebrating it. I have a lovely work colleague who I confided in about what I saw, she’s going to be coming with me when I tell my friend (this colleague also happens to be more than good friends with this woman).

Oh my god. Seriously?

You have got more work colleagues involved in this? You have told other people before you tell her?

You say you are ''clearly not'' a gossipy person.... Yeh you actually are...!!!!

It does not matter how close a friend they are. That IS gossip

Tell the affected party.

Like immediately. and ALONE, don't arrive several of you so you can all stand there pawing over her misery and fall out.

You have known this for over two weeks, and not said anything to the affected woman, but you have found the time to tell someone else........ Good luck with not getting a mouthful when the affected party finds this out..

No girl code in your part of the world then eh

Urgh and BARF

NeilCr

Based on that I wouldn't tell anyone. I, generally, am against telling unless you are sure and there is no certainty here at all

I was the subject of a similar kind of incident many years ago. I found out that some people in our office thought I was having an affair with one of my staff. Very flattering in a way (I was out of her league and she is fifteen years younger) but entirely not true. She was (and still is) a mate and we had a good laugh about it. Turned out it came about because someone walked in to the lift we were both in and thought we had been kissing.

No-one told her partner (he worked at the same place). I doubt he'd have believed it but there could have been some damage from what was an unfounded assumption

Pollycat

NeilCr wrote: »

Based on that I wouldn't tell anyone. I, generally, am against telling unless you are sure and there is no certainty here at all

I'm gob-smacked that the OP actually believes she has 'witnessed cheating' based on her post #24.

It's illuminating that she says she's asking for other people's opinions to make an informed decision about what would be best.
Yet - out of the replies, I'd say more than half advised her to keep out of it. And that was before she revealed what she'd seen.

As for involving someone else who has got this story second-hand from the OP and going together to deliver this news - that's beyond cruel.

I'd rather find out my partner had been cheating - properly cheating, that is, not just what the OP has described - by any other means than the one planned by the OP.

As there are 4 people (possibly 5 including the woman who has allegedly cheated with the boyfriend) all working in the same building, I can see the fall-out from this being somewhat spectacular.

FTR - I did see someone cheating (well, not 'mid-shag' to quote hazyjo but definitely kissing passionately). That was my best friend and I told her that she had to confess to her partner otherwise I would tell him myself.
She did the decent thing and told him herself.

paddy's_mum

For all my adult life, I have maintained that the most unfair and cruel expression in the world is the one that says 'no smoke without fire'.

hazyjo

Blush_Birdie wrote: »

In response to the question of what exactly I saw, it was this:

The guy was leaning in towards the woman’s neck, I’m assuming he was about to kiss her. When he and the woman saw me, he snapped his neck up super fast, she shoved him away, both looked at me for a second and then both proceeded to run down the staircase they were standing next to.

Seriously? You are about to tell a friend that you 'assume' her OH was about to kiss someone else. Really? It does sound a bit like you're wanting to gossip and be the one to 'claim' it. I really don't think that's enough to conclude 'they're having an affair'.


Like I said, I have a really good male friend at work. The gossips have been gossiping for over a decade. Let them crack on. If someone decided to tell my OH I was by his side all night at the Christmas or Summer Party, or went for a drink with him after work, my OH would say 'yep, I know.' And would probably add 'because the rest of you are backstabbing gossips and he's her best friend there'.

Skiddaw1

Honestly, I'd back off (and tell the other girl you confided in that you believe you were mistaken and to let it lie). If there is anything untoward going on, your former friend will find out soon enough and there's simply insufficient evidence either way. You'll stir up a hornet's nest right enough otherwise.

supermezzo

Stay well out of it and stop dragging other people into it, or you'll all be shot as the messenger, whether there is any truth on the cheating allegation or not.


Even if its true, you're (quite rightly, imo) going to get a reputation for gossip and stirring things, especially now that you've involved someone else at work - Are you certain that she hasn't now confided in someone that they trust at work? Are you certain that no-one from work reads these forums?

What if the woman you suspect is being cheated on reads this and now knows that the internet knew before she did?

I feel really, really sorry for her if so.

heartbreak_star

paddy's_mum wrote: »

For all my adult life, I have maintained that the most unfair and cruel expression in the world is the one that says 'no smoke without fire'.

I agree. My own example is as follows...I have a lot of very close male friends - one of them is currently going through a divorce and I have been accused of sleeping with him because I was in his house crying my eyes out over medical issues when his wife came home.

I've never touched him other than friendly hugs, but she still won't speak to me and some mutual friends have turned against me.

Circumstances are very often not what they seem. OP, I would absolutely not say something based on what you have seen and I would certainly stop telling people.

HBS x