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Would you say something?

245

Comments

  • LadyDee
    LadyDee Posts: 4,293 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Who is she going to turn on? It's none of your business, stay out of it. If she was your sister I'd say confront him and tell him to 'fess up, otherwise keep quiet.
  • oystercatcher
    oystercatcher Posts: 2,366 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    +1 for keeping quiet.

    She will find out, or work it out in the end when the time is right. No point in interfering. Let the relationships run their natural course.
    Decluttering, 20 mins / day Jan 2024 2/2 
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 36,144 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    Yes, I definitely would.

    This woman is quite impulsive, explosive though...

    She previously only heard rumours about this woman apparently having an affair with her boyfriend, confronted her and slapped her!

    I’m cautious in case she thinks I am stirring the pot... what if she doesn’t believe me? Should I dismiss this fear and tell her the truth so I at least know I’ve done my part in being honest?
    She's actually directing her anger at the wrong person.

    It's her boyfriend she should be angry with.
    It's he who is in a relationship with her.

    Although she shouldn't really be acting on rumours and she should definitely not be slapping anyone.
    If it was me she'd slapped she'd have bigger worries than her boyfriend possibly sleeping around.
    hazyjo wrote: »
    Wouldn't say anything.

    You say 'witnessed this' on Monday. Unless you caught them mid-shag, it does sound a bit gossipy to run straight to her or anyone. What actually did you see? Could it have been a kiss goodnight? Or an email? Or holding hands? Might not be an affair. I have been gossiped about for over 10 years as am close to a bloke at work - and we're certainly not having an affair.
    Have to say - I love this comment. :T
  • System
    System Posts: 178,412 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Can you prove it...can you be sure she'll listen to you AND believe you? What will happen if she doesn't...


    It's cut and dry, you say nothing as it does not concern you. Sooner or later it'll be out in the open.
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • DigForVictory
    DigForVictory Posts: 12,189 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    If he's fool enough to play around with a strong minded lass on company territory, he'll be toast shortly enough.

    Unless gossip isn't the company sport at yours as it is at ours?

    Besides, what you saw and didn't mention on Monday may well have been sighted & reported already and your decisive pal may have Bank Holiday Weekend plans the bloke knows nothing of. Yet. I'd stay quiet.
  • chesky
    chesky Posts: 1,341 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts
    But don't forget to practice your 'surprised and shocked' face when she tells you. Never let on you knew before.
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 36,144 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    If he's fool enough to play around with a strong minded lass on company territory, he'll be toast shortly enough.

    Unless gossip isn't the company sport at yours as it is at ours?

    Besides, what you saw and didn't mention on Monday may well have been sighted & reported already and your decisive pal may have Bank Holiday Weekend plans the bloke knows nothing of. Yet. I'd stay quiet.
    Oh! :eek:

    Now you've gone and done it.

    I have a vision of boiling oil, lots of knives and maybe some vintage nutcrackers...;)
  • Primrose
    Primrose Posts: 10,721 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    how much is this playing on your conscience?
    Does the boyfriend know what you witnessed? If he does, you could tell him that you feel uncomfortable about it and whilst it,s none of your business, if he IS Playing a double game, you're asking him to sort out where his loyalties lit and do the right thing.

    You could point out to him that inadvertently causing potential embarrassment to uninvolved work colleagues by exposing them to decisions about disloyalty to another employee is not playing the game.

    However if he's innocent, then you risk the same degree of embarrassment and discomfort as if you'd spilled the beans to his girlfriend.
  • ska_lover
    ska_lover Posts: 3,773 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Lets get this straight - you witnessed him cheating on her

    YOU WITNESSED him cheating, what exactly did you see? Did you see kissing, hand holding, penetration? WHAT?

    If I was very VERY sure, yes I would always tell a person that they were being cheated on...but I have to again repeat, I would have to be very certain of what I knew, not what I thought I saw

    I do not understand people who keep quiet about this kind of stuff, it is someone elses LIFE not a plot on coronation street

    If you know he is cheating, do the right thing. It is the right thing to alert her and not stand by observing her waste her life on this fool - do not add to her humiliation by being one of those who stand back and watch, all the time knowing about it

    I would want to know if it was me
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
  • PasturesNew
    PasturesNew Posts: 70,698 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Everybody shoots the messenger... so only do it for a BEST friend.
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