Money Moral Dilemma: Should I keep paying to visit my girlfriend's mum?

gloriouslyhappy

Pollycat wrote: »

I've no idea why these people who contact MSE with a MMD can't see that it makes more sense to talk to the person concerned than read the opinions of random strangers on t'interweb. :rotfl: (most of whom don't take these MMDs seriously anyway :whistle:)

It can be useful to get other people's opinions, sometimes you're too close to a problem to look at it with any objectivity, before 'having the talk'. but I agree, some of the responses are very jokey or less than helpful.

PasturesNew

Either go and pay, or don't go.

Pollycat

gloriouslyhappy wrote: »

It can be useful to get other people's opinions, sometimes you're too close to a problem to look at it with any objectivity, before 'having the talk'. but I agree, some of the responses are very jokey or less than helpful.

Maybe that's because the information given is always sketchy and no chance of any questions being answered...

OTOH, it's fair to say that people who post real dilemmas generally get good advice.
But they usually provide much more information and often answer questions.

alphaguru

I'm actually in the same situation and I just cut down the amount I would go, my girlfriend still visits her mum and in a lot of ways probably enjoys me not being there!

crmism

Is this a genuine question, I ask myself?

The solution is simple. Nobody compels you to visit your girlfriend's mother, so why not decline when asked to do so on the grounds you can't afford it?

Ebenezer_Screwj

You don't need to go every time, just visit occasionally with your girlfriend, maybe on special occasions. Once in a while you two could club together and pay for her Mum to visit you.

tgroom57

I like the idea of the 2 together railcard.
I'd look at ways to cut the cost of the trip.
Split the ticket so part of the journey starts outside peak times.
Buy rail tickets in Advance!

Go up by rail, come back by coach.
If you don't go on a particular trip, be sure to meet gf off the train when she gets back.
As a last resort, see if it would be cheaper to hire a car for the trip.

kintyremaid

Just read this MMD and decided to join in. Do you get free bed and board or is this a day trip ? Assuming there and back takes too long for one day, if you get nice dinner and comfy room then that might be fair exchange for travel costs.

Pollycat

I think if I really got on with my Mum and she lived 3 and a half hours away by train, I'd probably not want my boyfriend tagging along every time so we could have a proper catch up.

Maybe next week's MMD will be:
"My Mum lives three and a half hours away on the train and I like to go to see her regularly but my boyfriend insists on tagging along every time.
Would it be wrong to ask him not to always come so we can have some time on our own?"