Money Moral Dilemma: Should I keep paying to visit my girlfriend's mum?

MSE_Sarah

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My girlfriend and I regularly visit her mum, but she lives three and a half hours away on the train and tickets are always eye-wateringly expensive. Would it be wrong to stop visiting - or could I ask my girlfriend to contribute towards the cost of my ticket?

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Pollycat

Here's a different way of looking at it:
why can't she visit you?
One lot of train fare instead of 2. :dance:

Mojisola

Rather than asking your GF for money, suggest that you go with her every second or third time.

onwards&upwards

Firstly, make sure you’ve got a ‘two together’ railcard.

Secondly, it’s impossible to say how the train tickets should be paid for without knowing more of the circumstances. So many variables!

You’ll probably just have to discuss it with your girlfriend.

Socajam

Explain to your girlfriend that you love visiting her mom, but the tickets are too expensive and it is eating into your savings. I would rather someone be this honest with me than finding excuses.
Then add that you would however like to reduce your visits to every third visit. You could even buy some flowers for your girlfriend to give to her mom, does not have to be every time.

Doodles

No you shouldn't ask your girlfriend to contribute to your ticket, but you should only go when you can afford to go. So just visit once in a while.


And why not ask her mum to come and visit (or stay) with you sometimes too?

Marvel1

She can visit alone, you don't have to do every visit.

problemcashback

Imagine this question in a few years time, if you can’t don’t bother going at all.

elsien

Get the cheaper advance tickets or look at bus/coach prices.
It's generally less eyewateringly expensive if you plan ahead.

Presuming that you do actually want to visit at all?

John_Gray

Have you thought of moving closer to your GF's mother?
Or suggested that she moves closer to you?
It might end up being cheaper in the long run, and that is clearly what's important to you...

Liz_Kerr

depends on how close you are to your girlfriend. If its important to her I would just keep going and say nought. What do you do when there, does mum feed you, do you go out? is it also a weekend away? Who earns more, can you afford it?