Money Moral Dilemma: Should my husband pay more towards bills while I'm on maternity leave?

NeilCr

onwards&upwards wrote: »

Why resort to insults?

You said it 50/50 can work in all circumstances, now you’ve admitted it can’t but chucked in a snide comment too for some reason when you know nothing of my situation, I don’t even live with my partner and have no plans to share finances!

Nope. I said "regardless of circumstances if both parties agree and are happy with the arrangement"

If something major happens as you've described the above is likely not to still be the case and they will then have to have the conversation.,

I am sorry you felt insulted. It was meant to be light hearted which was why I put the smilies in. But, I stand by my comment that there are different ways of dealing with finances which suit different couples. And, there is no "best way" only what works for the people involved

ETA.

I am more than happy to remove the comment if it helps. I have no desire to be seen to be insulting people even if it wasn't the intention.

BSW89

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to organise your finances, everyone’s situation and views are different. We obviously don’t know all the details here, but on the face of it it sounds ridiculously unfair. The simple fact is that it’s his child too and he should be contributing to that! It sounds like he’s just carrying on as he did before.

I hope shares parental leave was considered.

I think the fact the money has been saved is irrelevant. Maybe the wife scrimped for years to save that whilst the husband lived a life of luxury.. we don’t know. The fact it’s been saved doesn’t automatically mean it’s the right way to spend it.

Mojisola

MSE_Kelvin wrote: »

My husband and I have had a baby - it was planned and I am taking a year off work. I knew my maternity pay would be poor so I saved £23,000 from my own salary to cushion the blow.

My husband and I still pay exactly the same towards the mortgage and bills, but I'm now digging deep into my savings. I know I'm having the time off, but it's my husband's baby too - should he be paying more while I'm on maternity leave?

BSW89 wrote: »

The simple fact is that it’s his child too and he should be contributing to that! It sounds like he’s just carrying on as he did before.

I hope shares parental leave was considered.

I think the fact the money has been saved is irrelevant.

That's what struck me - they didn't both save to cover the bills during the maternity leave - only the mother did.

So father had his full salary for all that time and is still only covering half the bills now!

The child doesn't only have one parent but it's only one parent who is giving up a salary, possible opportunities at work and contributions to a pension while the other is acting like a single person with no responsibilities.

Ebenezer_Screwj

Have you not discussed this between the two of you? If you cannot afford to have a child you are stuck with this for the next 20 years - maybe more.

Honeysucklelou2

Please discuss with your husband asap. I have been in a situation where I'd been paying half the mortgage and household bills, which started off being 50:50 for electricity and water ( he contributed none towards council tax or phone or insurance, childcare etc ) One day he decided to stop contributing to electricity and water and I ended up getting into debt trying to pay all the bills and half the mortgage just from a low wage. Finding out later that he had built up savings in an account I knew nothing about while I was struggling to buy food for the family was truly shocking. Needless to say we are no longer together.

theshed

We where never in a position to save such an amount but our earning where Ours.
Over the years one or other has earned more and that is just the way it is.
My wife's salary is paid into my account and I pay the bills, but that is because I manage it better. I am afraid you really should not be having this conversation, your savings should be supplementing income and paying for any extra's and your husbands wage should be in the family 'pot'.
hope it works out for you.