Taking the scenic route from chaos to calm!!!

seahorsey

It’s time to get a grip and restore a bit of calm in my life. I’m fast approaching 40 and need to take back a bit of control.

I’ve been on the debt roundabout since university days 20 years ago now :eek: borrowing, paying it off, vowing never to do it again and so on. The latest ‘blip’ comes about following a massive series of vets bills that insurance wouldn’t cover, buying a car, spending a fortune on said car and then finally admitting defeat and replacing the damn thing and plugging a gap left by mat leave pay. These all happened in fairly quick succession so we were never back on our feet before the next storm hit and now we’re facing the reality that managing and living with these debts is a way of life for the next few years.

So, I was doing fairly well up until a couple of months ago. Stress at work has meant my mental health took a dip and consequently I’ve opened my eyes to the fact that I am an emotional spender. This needs to change....

Aside from the finances I’m feeling my life is completely chaotic and I need it to slow down. There are just not enough hours in the day and I’m permanently drained both emotionally and physically under the weight of my to do list!

I’m sorry if this all sounds a wee bit woe is me, it’s not meant to (and I promise it isn’t setting the tone of the diary!). I’ve finally took my head out the sand and am now determined to do something about it before another year or two passes.

This is hopefully going to document my journey back to my calm, happy place :j

pidge04

I hear you completely! Resonates very clearly with me. Good luck!

seahorsey

Thanks for stopping by Pidge04 :hello:

So carrying on from my opening post a bit more about the key focuses of my ‘journey’

Finances
Currently living from pay day to pay day. The final week / 10 days is always a struggle. As mentioned above there are debts, these are all currently on 0% except for the overdraft.

Cc1 = £6421.73
Cc2 = £2838.33
OD = £650
Very= £421.00 + £189.98

Total = £10521.04

Currently no savings / emergency fund. This needs to change. Need to consistently have £1k in savings / emergency.

Goals.....
1. £1k emergency fund by year end
2. Aim to pay £300 per month - clear by March 2022, stretch target April 2021

Plan of action.....
1. Make extra money by eBay, car boot sales, fb sales etc
2. Reduce food shopping spend
3. Savvy shopping for birthdays, Christmas etc
4. Drive bills down (phones to be switched onto sim only when contract ends, track gas / electricity useable via smart meter, cash back and comparison sites for insurance)
5. Make the most of free / low cost days out - parks, picnics, special offers, coupons etc....

Mental Health / Physical Health
Work is very stressful at the moment. Would love to escape but at the moment the hours, wage and benefits it brings are needed. Fortunately I’m only there 3 days and for the most part am pretty good at leaving the troubles of work at work but occasionally they sneak into my home life.

Also, I’m crying out for a bit of me time. I feel I’m constantly on a treadmill, which doesn’t stop until myself and OH have had dinner - usually around 8:30. I’m then usually in bed within an hour! My self confidence is pretty low, I think this is in part to the fact that I don’t really invest any time in me. I know this sounds selfish, I love my little family dearly and wouldn’t change things for the world but I owe it to them to be the best version of me if that makes sense.

This also links pretty closely to my physical health. I’m lucky in that (touch wood) I’m in good health however I need to look after myself. I’m currently 2.5 stone heavier than I’d like to be. This has crept on over the last 12 months and not surprisingly coincides with my exercise regime taking a backseat to the point of practical non existence. I’ve recently started running again which I absolutely love and would like to start doing a bit of yoga and weights to help tone and strengthen. Exercise also helps massively with my mental health so for me it’s a win win. However the challenge is carving time out to enable me to do this. At least with the yoga and weights I’m able to do these in the comfort of my own home at a time to suit.

Goals....
1. Be happy
2. Lose 2.5 stone
3. Run at least 2 half marathons by the end of the year.

Plan of action.....
1. Restart my mindful app.
2. Track food and exercise via my fitness pal.
3. Exercise daily for a minimum of 15 minutes
4. Run at least twice (ideally 3 times) per week
5. 15 mins a day me time (reading, bath / pamper, general pottering :rotfl:)

Home life
Busy, busy, busy :rotfl:

House is in constant chaotic state. I don’t want to spend time cleaning etc when i should be spending time with DS, however likewise I don’t want him being brought up in a pig sty and there being a mad panic when anyone comes over.

I’ve dabbled with the organised mum method (kind of like fly lady) and really need to get to grips and implement this.

Goals....
1. Clean tidy house with minimum effort :rotfl:
2. Have spare money to decorate and generally give the house a bit of TLC

Plan of action....
1. Implement organised mum - carve out 3 x 15 min chunks a day and set the timer. Get OH on board.
2. Tidy as I go, never leave a room empty handed.......


I appreciate that there’s a lot to work at and things aren’t going to change overnight. Trying to change everything at once is going to lead to burnout and failure. Somethings I’m already on with, for example I’ve restarted running over the last couple of months and am making more effort with the house and diet. But it’s going to be baby steps. Rome wasn’t built in a day x

jwil

Good luck

findingthisdifficult

Good Luck Seahorsey, sounds like you've got a grand plan.

Suseka97

I don't tend to comment on diaries - but do read them with interest and silently congratulate people on their progress. Your diary heading caught my attention when I logged onto the MSE forum this morning (I usually spend my time in the DFW sub-forum) and as I read I felt the need to stop and say good luck.

You sound like you've got everything planned out nicely and I wish you every success. Life can be such as roller coaster at times and being mum, whilst running a household and holding down a job - can mean you leave little time for you. So I'm a strong advocate for giving yourself some headspace to do the things you enjoy - however small (or time limited) that may be. As you say - it does wonders for your mental wellbeing and makes for a happier you.

It won't always be plain sailing, that's just life, but having a plan is the way to go and I'm sure you'll achieve all your goals - so keep up the positivity :j

Honeysucklelou2

Juggling a stressful job with being a mum is hard work...cheering you on!

Puddleglum

You've got a lot to change there and as you pointed out, that can lead to overwhelm and nothing getting done after a few days. Ways to overcome that...?

Plan your time and include time for you. Even if it's just a bath at the end of the day make sure there is something in it for you to look forward to.

Find a friend or two to hold you accountable. People who will check in with you once a week and ask you if you've done everything you planned and will lovingly call you out if you haven't.

Good luck. Here's to the future! :beer:

seahorsey

Thank you all for your kind comments. I’m not going to pretend it’s going to be easy but you only get one chance at life and I’m determined to make the most of it.

Yesterday OH took DS food shopping so I took the opportunity to nip out for a run. Managed 10.5 miles which was a massive confidence boost. It’s the furthest I’ve ran since my last half back in September and I was a stone lighter then too! Got home and chilled for a bit watching the London Marathon, it makes me so emotional- those people are amazing. May have entered the ballot for next year :rotfl:

Food shopping was horrendous £90+ spent on nothing out of the ordinary. Really need to get this down as it’s spiralling out of control. Will start going Aldi / Lidl and then use our usual Mr. M as top up for a few week and see if that helps. Really need to get to grips with meal planning too as that’ll make a big difference both to the £’s and lbs.

It’s been a good weekend for eBay and Facebook sales with ~£50 made :T Got loads more stuff to get listed too. Will aim for 5 per day and then it doesn’t seem like such a mammoth task.

Payday tomorrow - at last :T I spent a bit of time juggling the spreadsheets last night as have a few additional outgoings this month to cover...
1. £35 for garden waste bin renewal
2. £150 (approx) vets bill. £30 due now, the rest may sneak into next month depending on when I’m billed for it.
3. £90 hay for ponies (3 months worth).
4. £200 holiday (splitting accommodation cost 3 ways so this is our total cost)
5. £48 dentist bill :mad:

The money is available in this months budget, however it’d be good to pay for these extras with extra income, so will use any eBay sales as a way of paying them. Also hoping to do a car boot at some point when I get a nice sunny Sunday morning.

Work today. It’s a very short week as I’ve had to take a day off due to childcare cover. Will no doubt be manic but I’ll plough through it!

Happy Monday - have a good day x x x

seahorsey

Morning!
Pay day at last! I’ve made payments to all the debts, so that’s all taken care of for another month. Budget is tight due to the extras listed in my last post but we’ll get through.

As anticipated work yesterday was crazy - ended up working 10 hours as opposed to my usual 7.5 but never mind. I’ll claim the time back at some point.

Plan of action for today......
1. Post eBay
2. Sort smart tracker (it seems to have given up already!)
3. 3 x 15 minutes sort and shine!
4. 15 mins weights

Have a good day x x x

Starmummy

seahorsey wrote: »

Thank you all for your kind comments. I’m not going to pretend it’s going to be easy but you only get one chance at life and I’m determined to make the most of it.

Yesterday OH took DS food shopping so I took the opportunity to nip out for a run. Managed 10.5 miles which was a massive confidence boost. It’s the furthest I’ve ran since my last half back in September and I was a stone lighter then too! Got home and chilled for a bit watching the London Marathon, it makes me so emotional- those people are amazing. May have entered the ballot for next year :rotfl:

Hi SeaHorsey,

Welcome to the diaries.
I love your idea of 'nipping' out for a run being over 10 miles. :eek:
I'd struggle with 10k at the moment. Like you I've entered the ballot for the VMLM next year. The furthest I've ever done was the Nottingham Half. ouch at the hills. :rotfl: so I really need to get back into the swing of things.

Good luck with it all. I'm so glad one of your areas of focus is selfcare. that should absolutely be the foundation of everything else.

Take care
SM