Help... I need advice and don’t know where to start!

As it says in the title I need advice and really don’t know where to begin. My husband has always had control of finances though we both earn plenty we never seem to have much spare. I have no access to either joint account and always just expected (and questioned) if things were ok. I was always told yes!! Odd times I’ve had unpaid emails from the bank and he just tells me it’s sorted!
Tonight after telling me something had gone wrong with the account and most of the money has gone I insisted on seeing the accounts. Before he showed me he went on to tell me he has s problem. He’s gambled away 5-6k since January and there’s none of my wage left to pay this months mortgage or other bills! Other months bills have been paid using pay day loans so there’s loads of debt too. I’m devastated that he’s lied to me for so long and really don’t know what to do or say. Can’t even look at him right now!
My main concern at the moment is the bills this month I really don’t know what to do! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!


  • badmemory
    badmemory Posts: 7,737 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
    edited 26 April 2019 at 1:58AM
    My first task would be to protect as much of my future as I can. Open your own current account at a bank with no other debts/overdrafts & make certain your employer knows to pay into the new account. The same for any child benefit payments etc.

    I assume the joint accounts are overdrawn. If not then go into the bank & get your name removed before they are overdrawn. Unfortunately debts on joint accounts are the responsibility of both parties. YOU NEED ACCESS.

    You need him to sit down & list all he has left you in debt for (& then double it because he has become used to lying to you & getting away with it) & you need if at all possible to stop him having access to the accounts. Then pack him off to gamblers anonymous.

    Unfortunately addicts of whatever kind find honesty a fatality of their addiction.

    Good luck!
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