Laws around protecting assets in event of breakups and kids

Type_45

Hi all,

I'm a single man in my early 40s. I have almost paid off my mortgage and I have a fair chunk of money in a S&S ISA. I am not rich, but I am comfortable and I want to stay that way and not lose what I have worked so hard for.

I would like to have another partner, and possibly also children. But I am first wanting to arm myself with all the facts about what a potential partner (or mother of my child/ren) may be able to claim.

I am therefore wondering if anyone knows what the laws are regarding the following scenarios (or any other scenarios you can think of which may realistically come to pass):

- I am assuming that if I get married then I have agreed to share whatever I own (except if I have a pre-nup, in which case I can leave the relationship with what I entered it with)?

- I am assuming that a partner can claim a % of my property if they have lived in it for a certain period or paid for renovations etc even if we aren't married? (I know someone this happened to). How do you co-habit but safeguard against this? Does having a child affect this in anyway (IE, if the relationship breaks down will a judge simply hand the house to the woman and child and tell me to go elsewhere?)

- What do people do to safeguard their property and investments?

This lack of knowledge prevents me from trusting people and for that reason I really need to understand what my rights are.

:beer:

Gavin83

If you get married and you’re together for a reasonable length of time your assets will be considered shared. If you have children and your wife is the primary carer she could get more than 50%, or be allowed to live in the property until the child is 18. A prenup is basically worthless.

If you get married and it’s short then you’ll effectively be treated as if you weren’t married at all, although any children could complicate it.

If you don’t marry they’ll only be entitled to any contributions they’ve made, so mortgage payments or renovations. Children will make no difference, although naturally you’ll be expected to contribute towards their upbringing.

Moral of the story? Don’t get married.

tacpot12

Gavin83 wrote: »

Moral of the story? Don’t get married.

I'd prefer to say that the moral is Don't get married unless you are happy to give your wife half of your net worth. Some wives are worth it!

Type_45

I'm under the impression that an ex-colleague of my lost half her house to a live-in boyfriend with whom she was not married...


How about this situation:

A GF moves into my house for 10 years. We have an 8 year old child. And we split up... Surely any judge in the land would give her at least half? Or even the whole house?

LilElvis

I'm loving the huge assumption that the hypothetical future girlfriend will be some penniless golddigger. She might have a better job, a bigger house and more savings.

SuperHan

Type_45 wrote: »

How about this situation:

A GF moves into my house for 10 years. We have an 8 year old child. And we split up... Surely any judge in the land would give her at least half? Or even the whole house?

No, no judge in the land should give her the house, she's not entitled to it (unless she has made contributions to the capital of the house, eg mortgage, improvements).

[Deleted User]

SuperHan wrote: »

No, no judge in the land should give her the house, she's not entitled to it (unless she has made contributions to the capital of the house, eg mortgage, improvements).

Contributions in providing the free 24/7 childcare is taken into account.

Mojisola

Type_45 wrote: »

I would like to have another partner, and possibly also children. But I am first wanting to arm myself with all the facts about what a potential partner (or mother of my child/ren) may be able to claim.

You could move to live in Scotland -
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/scotland/family/relationship-problems-s/getting-divorced-s/#h-what-happens-to-household-goods-and-other-possessions

"What happens to household goods and other possessions

Gifts and inherited goods belong to the person who received them.

Goods acquired before the marriage belong to the person who acquired them.

You'll need to agree who owns goods you bought during the marriage. If you can't agree, the court assumes you own them jointly."

Savvy_Sue

the following two quotes are at least partly mutually incompatible.

Type_45 wrote: »

I am not rich, but I am comfortable and I want to stay that way and not lose what I have worked so hard for.

Type_45 wrote: »

I would like to have another partner, and possibly also children.

Please, don't have children unless you are ready to give up EVERYTHING for them. Your sleep, your spare time, your house and your ISA. Definitely your comfort - read about Lego Fire Walks if you doubt me ...

And to be honest, if I were your future partner, I'd run a mile if I didn't think you were ready to give up everything for me too ...

Type_45 wrote: »

This lack of knowledge prevents me from trusting people and for that reason I really need to understand what my rights are.

And again, if you want children, please think about your responsibilities too!

LilElvis wrote: »

I'm loving the huge assumption that the hypothetical future girlfriend will be some penniless golddigger. She might have a better job, a bigger house and more savings.

:rotfl: Indeed. I know a lady who had a house, a car and a well-paying job when she married a chap with no house, a motorbike, and no job ... but they've survived!

Primrose

I understand your anxieties about maintaining and protecting your current assets, but you have obviously not yet met somebody with whom you would share your last penny just to be permanently with them and working together as a single unit.


You've built a comfortable life for yourself. Being married and/or having children will introduce new elements of uncertainty into your life as your share it with another person. Whilst you obviously desire the "plusses" this would bring in a successful relationship, perhaps you should have a serious debate with yourself whether you could cope with the negatives if everything goes pear shaped.


I've known one or two people who've started marriage from a base similar to yours, things have gone disastrously wrong, and they've been left later in life with too little time to rebuild a strong financial base. By all means find out exactly what your financial rights and responsibilities are but if you have any doubts at all, don't get married.


Those who marry young and penniless perhaps have the advantage here as everything they end up owning will accumulate as the result of a joint effort. Those who marry later in life will probably have accumulated assets along the way and need to be doubly cautious about what they're undertaking. The financially comfortable lady with the house who married a bloke with a motorbike and no job was obviously good at picking a "winner"!

onomatopoeia99

Type_45 wrote: »

- What do people do to safeguard their property and investments?

Marry someone that brings as much financially to the relationship as they do,