Getting cold feet prior to exchange

babyblade41

I think you are over thinking and certainly wouldn't worry if friends move in the future .

Your pro's are quite big pro's and your cons are quite small considering the budget.

One other thing , what is an outside cat ?? I think cats decide whether they want to be inside or outside so possibly leave the buying of a cat alone

davidmcn

babyblade41 wrote: »

One other thing , what is an outside cat ?

One which poos on the neighbours' gardens and eats all the local birdlife.

hazyjo

Can't imagine moving somewhere to be near friends. I've lived in many areas and not known a soul. On my own sometimes! I moved to Leigh on Sea a year or so ago which was quite some way from Chingford where I lived before! Got tube to South Woodford last night after work and a tube a train back home. Or I meet them in London. Living in close to London (in your case) should mean it's pretty accessible to see everyone still! Most of my other friends live miles away. We nearly always meet in London.

Definitely wouldn't let a terrace put me off. Obviously would prefer a semi or detached, but my last house was a terrace and that was one of the compromises with it.

Can't you use the loft conversion for your bedroom? Although agree with above - doesn't sound like an actual conversion, more of a boarded loft. That in itself won't really make it a 3 bed so don't pay for it!

Don't see the point of using one main bedroom as yours and another for clothes. You will outgrow that if kids are planned. I did have a dressing room in a 4 bed house, but there were 2 of us rattling round in it over 4 floors and it just worked. You've not mentioned kids so presume you don't have any. If they are on the cards, I'd not buy this one.

Suburbia? Well, that's personal taste. I have to be able to walk to a town or at least large village with at least a restaurant or three and bars/pubs!

Would never get an outdoor cat on a main road. Even a fast quiet lane.

Can live with a small bathroom (my last house had a tiny one) but it is SO nice having a big one (my current house's one is huge). Does it actually have a bath or just a shower? If just a shower, that would put me off buying.

Small kitchens are fine if lots of storage. If it's rubbish, I'd not be able to buy as I have too much stuff (which I'm keeping!).

Dishwasher - want to say dealbreaker, but it would prob be a MAJOR compromise if I loved the house.

Cost - wouldn't be too fussed if I could afford it. Have often maxed out. I really can't see you buying something bigger/not terraced on your budget if this was popular and you felt fairly priced!

You're not in Central London, and probably work there anyway, so the pollution side wouldn't bother me too much. Can't imagine the pollution being much worse in Chingford or Leigh as it would in a large northern town.

YES it is normal to doubt. And there will ALWAYS be compromises.

What you have to decide on is IS THERE SOMETHING BETTER IN MY BUDGET? If not, then change areas, up the budget, or accept this house.

Which area (if you want to share)? Get the feeling it will be in Essex or maybe Kent.

All of the above are MY views. Maybe it will help, maybe not. Your missus will be looking forward to the next stage of your lives and would prob have been happy with another house. She may even just ignore your concerns if she's that set on it. I KNEW the house we're in was right for us but my OH was a bit wobbly. He now adores it and the location is amazing which makes it perfect!

macman

Pull out now and all it will have cost you is the Homebuyers Survey.
If you cannot stand up in the loft then it almost certainly does not comply with building regs and can only be used for storage, not as living space.
I cannot envisage any kitchen where you cannot fit in at least a slimline dishwasher-you just lose a cupboard.

babyblade41

Oh forgot it couldn't have a dishwasher ..then forget everything I said earlier!!!

I am just starting to renovate a 1900's house.. The kitchen can fit a dish washer in but it's all being knocked down in the summer with an extension so not worth having the expense and bother re-arranging the old units , plumbing is a bit dodgy anyway .... what a ball ache it is

The amount of rows we are having over washing up ... deal breaker for me but I do like my kitchen gadgets

Albala

Difficult this. But I think I would tactfully approach my OH and suggest that once we had the survey (which you seem to be committed to anyway) we did a pros and cons list, and made sure all the issues on my list and the survey findings were all included. It may be that the cons will then become clearer to her without them having to be a bone of contention, she may simply not have thought of them. Then you can both weigh up the pros and cons together, and see how the balance looks then. It may look better to you, or worse to her.

We tend to talk things over so thoroughly it seems to surprise other people, but it does mean we both know where the other one is on things, and we go at the speed of the slowest, so to speak. If one is unsure, we discuss it until they are sure, or we don't do it. It takes time. But anything we do do, we are both committed to it. It takes a while for us to decide things, but when we do decide, we can go all out, and very fast, knowing we have thought out all the possibilities in advance. Wouldn't suit every couple, partly because being completely honest and open and accepting that the other person is being the same and isn't being awkward, is an absolute requirement for it to work.

hazyjo

Not sure I'd wait until after the survey. The things making the OP wobble won't be on there. But there will be a whole heap of other stuff, most of it nothing to worry about, but it's not going to come back saying 'nothing wrong' or 'what a fabulous house, I think you should definitely buy it'.


NOW is your time to pull out. Go for a drink and say you're having doubts. Say it BEFORE the missus starts saying how excited she is and points out plus points.


Is there any way of extending that kitchen btw? Knocking into another room?


Not sure why you're saying 25+ years - if it's London-ish, with both of you earning, and the house is really only a 2 bed (not a big one at that), I bet you move again within 8 years.

kazwookie

I'd never move to be near friends, but the likely hood is they would up and move in a couple of years anyway.

scottishblondie

Honestly it sounds like you should pull out now. 2 bedrooms that you're not even sure you could get a bed in to and a loft "conversion" you can't stand up in sounds terrible. Working from home with no dedicated space to do so can be stressful. Add to that a kitchen so narrow you wouldn't even be able to open a dishwasher in it... I couldn't live with that.

Has your wife perhaps been wowed by the reception room and the "new" feeling, and being near friends, so much so that she hasn't really considered the negatives? Have you actually sat down and discussed these worries with her?

letitbe90

Show this post to your wife.