funeral cost

dawyldthing

SevenOfNine wrote: »

Personally I'd perhaps let your uncle have his way with a catholic service of some kind, but NOT a burial, not if you believe your dad genuinely had no preference.

I hate to say it, but I'm going to....you don't seem to have a bottomless budget, a cremation plot is cheaper than a full sized grave. A cremation stone is cheaper than a full upright headstone. Interment is cheaper than burying. Can't really say if the cost of the crematorium would negate all the possible 'savings' though.

I don't think your uncle's religion alone should decide everything, unless he's offered to pay for any of it.

You don’t even need a cremation plot. The ashes can go anywhere (some of my nans I’ve put in my garden). There just trying to extract more money off you for another service. You can put the ashes anywhere really unofficially.

Before anyone says anything - someone once told me of a story where they and several friends took coffee cups (obviously unused) and sprinkled it over his favourite golf course when it was dark.

Yorkshireman99

baron777red wrote: »

some good advice here, thanks
we dont have an actual appointed executor, dad hasnt got any assets apart from cash in the bank, and what was in his flat. (theres enough to cover the funeral) so me and my brother are sorting out all his affairs, we would prefer cremation but dads brother, is catholic and wants him buried, (dad wasnt religious) neither myself or my brother are religious so i dont mind either way as long as its not too expensive,
its so difficult i dont want to upset anyone but i know dad wouldn't want to spend too much money on his funeral, he was very careful with his money.

To legally deal with the estate you really should get letters of administration and distribute the estate according to the rules even if it is small. Cost is very small for estate below about 5K.Hve you read the stickies at the beginning of this forum?

SevenOfNine

:beer:

Yorkshireman99 wrote: »

As money is tight why not have direct cremation followed by scattering the ashes. Folllowed by a catholic memorial service.

Now there's a good solution :T Everything gets done, costs low, catholic uncle considered. There's nothing disrespectful in that choice, & will probably leave some money if you really want flowers & a wake, so you will feel that you gave your dad "a good send off", without breaking the bank.

Flugelhorn

Many RCs opt for cremation -

TBH I can't think of many adults who would be happy that a sibling's views were being taken into consideration over this. If dad was non religious and you have limited funds - then go for cheaper options. If you went for direct cremation then brother won't be there anyway and you can all concentrate on the service afterwards

bouicca21

Another voice to say RCs are ok with cremation. Parents in law both catholic, both cremated with an RC service.

Yorkshireman99

Flugelhorn wrote: »

Many RCs opt for cremation -

TBH I can't think of many adults who would be happy that a sibling's views were being taken into consideration over this. If dad was non religious and you have limited funds - then go for cheaper options. If you went for direct cremation then brother won't be there anyway and you can all concentrate on the service afterwards

In theory a testator can leave their choice in their will. Unfortunately in many cases their views are ignored and the family choose. This can happen if the will is not readily available. It can also happen if the family disagree .IMHO the deceased’s wishes should take preference, within reason,.

Flugelhorn

Yorkshireman99 wrote: »

In theory a testator can leave their choice in their will. Unfortunately in many cases their views are ignored and the family choose. This can happen if the will is not readily available. It can also happen if the family disagree .IMHO the debased’s wishes should take preference, within reason,.

I agree that why should whenever possible (and if cost is not an issue) - but many people don't leave any wishes, comes down to what the family have usually done etc. We had no idea what Uncle's wishes were but his mother sister and brother had all been cremated and there was no family burial plot anywhere so we arranged a cremation for him.
I worked as a GP for some time in a rural area where the old farming families went for burial - the families were staying in the area and could tend to the grave & there were often other famiy members buried nearby etc - occasionally it was a bit of surprise when someone was cremated (I had to do the extra forms) - in many parts of the country the family are not around and would rarely visit the grave.

baron777red

thanks for the replies, the past 2 weeks since dad passed away have been stressfull but we have now got things in place and arranged, its a cremation with a RC service by a local priest in the chapel at the crematorium (not mass), we have chosen to bury the ashes in a grave with a proper headstone so that people who wanted burial have somewhere to go just like you do with a burial grave. we also chose cremation (and used this for our argument) because we could have a funeral earlier than burial, 9th as opposed to 20th, we have had to wait 2 week to register the death due to a PM. Just when we thought it was ll getting sorted we find out that we need to get grant of probate now for dads bank account, his only asset, so i have started this process online and will be sending the IHT205 and Pa1a forms to the probate office over the next few days, so hopefully this will get sorted soon

Yorkshireman99

baron777red wrote: »

thanks for the replies, the past 2 weeks since dad passed away have been stressfull but we have now got things in place and arranged, its a cremation with a RC service by a local priest in the chapel at the crematorium (not mass), we have chosen to bury the ashes in a grave with a proper headstone so that people who wanted burial have somewhere to go just like you do with a burial grave. we also chose cremation (and used this for our argument) because we could have a funeral earlier than burial, 9th as opposed to 20th, we have had to wait 2 week to register the death due to a PM. Just when we thought it was ll getting sorted we find out that we need to get grant of probate now for dads bank account, his only asset, so i have started this process online and will be sending the IHT205 and Pa1a forms to the probate office over the next few days, so hopefully this will get sorted soon

Usually the bank will pay the funeral director themselves without probate if asked. You should just need the original of the will and death certificate. The estate may not need probate if the funds are low and the bank agree. Yeir policies differ. policy. Ask the banks bereavement service,

Flugelhorn

baron777red wrote: »

thanks for the replies, the past 2 weeks since dad passed away have been stressfull but we have now got things in place and arranged, its a cremation with a RC service by a local priest in the chapel at the crematorium (not mass), we have chosen to bury the ashes in a grave with a proper headstone so that people who wanted burial have somewhere to go just like you do with a burial grave. we also chose cremation (and used this for our argument) because we could have a funeral earlier than burial, 9th as opposed to 20th, we have had to wait 2 week to register the death due to a PM. Just when we thought it was ll getting sorted we find out that we need to get grant of probate now for dads bank account, his only asset, so i have started this process online and will be sending the IHT205 and Pa1a forms to the probate office over the next few days, so hopefully this will get sorted soon

Glad to hear that things are getting sorted out - seems like a good solution you have worked out hope it all goes OK on the 9th . Don't worry about the probate, that will work out too and as Y99 says the bank will pay the FD directly if needed