Selling Marital Home Ex Missing

Mandy278

Hi

I am hoping someone may be able to other some advise or has gone through a similar thing that does not include spending thousands with a solicitor.

My husband walked out of our jointly owned property never to return in 2015. I have had some contact over the years but that was mainly him stating he would never divorce me or sell the house, even though he was the one that left and run off with another women !! Anyway, I need to sell this house as I can no longer afford to live in it as he hasn't paid a penny towards it since he left nor any money for his son. (Child Maintenance find him, he leaves his job and so it goes on). Right charmer isn't he

I have been told various things over the years about how to sell the house without his agreement or him signing paperwork (which he won't). I have even thought about signing his name, desperation really. The mortgage is now in arrears and even though I have been in contact with the mortgage company they say they may start proceedings to repossess which obviously having my son to look after may well leave us homeless. I do not have any savings and every penny I earn goes on just living. However, I earn to much apparently to get any help financially.

So a tough one I know, but any ideas please. Thank you in advance.

[Deleted User]

Mandy278 wrote: »

Hi

I am hoping someone may be able to other some advise or has gone through a similar thing that does not include spending thousands with a solicitor.

My husband walked out of our jointly owned property never to return in 2015. I have had some contact over the years but that was mainly him stating he would never divorce me or sell the house, even though he was the one that left and run off with another women !! Anyway, I need to sell this house as I can no longer afford to live in it as he hasn't paid a penny towards it since he left nor any money for his son. (Child Maintenance find him, he leaves his job and so it goes on). Right charmer isn't he

I have been told various things over the years about how to sell the house without his agreement or him signing paperwork (which he won't). I have even thought about signing his name, desperation really. The mortgage is now in arrears and even though I have been in contact with the mortgage company they say they may start proceedings to repossess which obviously having my son to look after may well leave us homeless. I do not have any savings and every penny I earn goes on just living. However, I earn to much apparently to get any help financially.

So a tough one I know, but any ideas please. Thank you in advance.

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I'll not offer opinion on something I have no knowledge of. However, have you considered a lodger in the short term as a way of raising extra income to contribute to the bills?

G_M

so.... options....:

1) get lodger/2nd job/etc increase earnings, pay off mortgage arrears and stay put
2) wait till repossessed. Maybe speed up the process by witholding all mortgage payments. Your credit rating will plummet. So will your ex's.......
3) find ex and pursuade him to sign sales contract. Bribe? Is there any equity in the property you can give him on sale?
4) apply to court to sell without his agreement. Slow & costly.....
5) move in with friends/family, apply to lender for CTL/BTL and rent the property out to pay mortgage.
* New landlords: advice
6) hmm,..... 6?


edit: Ah! Yes, 6): why are you not getting divorced? The property would be sorted out as part of the divorce settlement.

Mandy278

Hi

Thank you for replying. I'll answer your queries below:

1) get lodger/2nd job/etc increase earnings, pay off mortgage arrears and stay put: Mortgage company have agreed an arrangement per month and as long as keep to these they will not repossess. However, I want to move because I cannot stop him breaking in and changing the locks or removing all the furniture etc, causing damage etc.
2) wait till repossessed. Maybe speed up the process by witholding all mortgage payments. Your credit rating will plummet. So will your ex's....... - Possibility.
3) find ex and pursuade him to sign sales contract. Bribe? Is there any equity in the property you can give him on sale? No equity in property as was a new build bought in 2008 just before property crashed and location is not very sellable.
4) apply to court to sell without his agreement. Slow & costly..... This may be an option, but where to start.
5) move in with friends/family, apply to lender for CTL/BTL and rent the property out to pay mortgage. Tried this and as have arrears on property the mortgage company will not allow BTL.
* New landlords: advice
6) hmm,..... 6? Would love to but again do not know where he is living (even a tracing agent couldn't find him). Has always said will never divorce me (its an act of his control really). However, I can divorce him without his consent now as just need to complete a different form to avoid the need for serving papers to him.

Funny thing is I suggested to mortgage company about handing back but need both signatures on form, even though I told them I had no idea where he was and wouldn't sign anyway.

Thanks again.

AlexMac

Mandy278 wrote: »

My husband walked out ...in 2015.... some contact... mainly him stating he would never divorce me or sell the house, even though he was the one that left and run off with another women...
I have been told various things over the years about how to sell the house without his agreement ...

Hopefully others will share their experiences, but Divorce is the obvious way to teach him a lesson, and in your circumstances I bet the courts would be fair to you.

As regards

Mandy278 wrote: »

I have been told various things over the years about how to sell the house without his agreement ...

Take propoer advice. Look at
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/ending-a-relationship/how-to-separate/getting-a-divorce/

especially the "5 grounds for divorce" and the "5 year rule" and go to the CAB.

Best wishes

TBagpuss

Start divorce proceedings. If he won't cooperate it will slow things down and, unfortunately, make them more expensive, but youshould be able to get thre in the end.
Ultimately, he doesn't have to agree or to particupate in the court proceedings, although the court will need to be satisfied that he knows about them. If you know where he is then this can be achieved by having paperwork served on him personally (i.e. someone, either a court bailiff or private process server, going and hand delivering the papers to him and signing a statemnt to say they've done so)
There are other options if you don't knwo where he is, including getting permission to serve by text or e-mail, or to have service assumed to have been effecitive if you've have nasty texts back from him telling you he won't sign!

Ultimately, a court can make orders about the hosue as part of a divorce settlement and this could include applying for orders to allow a JDge to sign paperwork on your ex's behalf, either to sell the hosue or to trnasfer it to you.
It would take time to get to that point, but it can be done.

Mandy278

Thank you TBagpuss

In your last paragraph you mention about court orders for a judge to sign on ex's behalf. Do you have any idea what form this is or is it a financial order. Currently getting all the divorce forms together. Thank you v much

Thrugelmir

Is there any equity in the property?

babyblade41

I take it child maintenance is mounting ?.. no one is untraceable but you may have to employ someone to do this . If he is with someone else she may be more easier to find

I would pursue child maintenance .. apply for divorce and get advice from your divorce solicitor . They will have experience dealing with this.

He has had the locks changed then I'd change them back... not totally legal but he may spring out of the woodwork .

Plenty of ammunition to throw so legal advice first and foremost

Mandy278

Hi,
No, no equity. Had the property valued recently and will probably have to pay £2k approx to clear the mortgage and selling fees.

Mandy278

Have tried Child Maintenance and was a royal mess. They firstly contacted the wrong person which almost went to DNA testing before I realised their mistake, they then say he has stated he is not working and only entitled to £28 per month! They insist that he will be paying me that even though I have stated well that would be a banking first seeing as he hasn't got my bank details anymore. Will not do direct pay until he has defaulted for a month. Simply not worth it.

I have traced him using a tracing agent, but all documents, letters etc returned torn up or ignored.

Losing my mind over all this. Think it is a visit to CAB with divorce paperwork and ask them to check and ask about the judge making an order for sale or signing on his behalf. Will be able to prove have tried to locate him and how unreasonable he is being. Anyone would think I had had the affair and run away. There has to be some way for him to made responsible for some of his mortgage debt etc.