Old style dream life vs real life

downshifter

I don't know if you do any project management/project planning in your job but that's how I approach this kind of thing. Work out your aims and objectives, time scales, decisions to be made and all of that stuff and plan all the steps towards those aims/objectives.

A friend of mine and her husband wanted to travel around Europe in a tatty motorhome but giving up their jobs/house etc seemed a huge step and they could see in their 50s that it wasn't coming any nearer and was still just a dream. She plotted it out on flipchart paper and stuck it on the wall in their kitchen where they couldn't avoid it and could tick things off, or add post-it notes where new ideas, better ways occurred to them, - the bigger aims, a time scale and things they would do each week towards it were all on there (such as decluttering, looking for freelance work, selling stuff, growing a few practice veg, motor mechanics classes, lots of reading/ making notes.)

And they did it within 18 months and off they went to Italy on the first leg of their trip. Sadly within a few years, he died of an unexpected illness (there's a moral there too!) but they'd had some amazing adventures in between.

I'd love to hear how you get on. Just get on with it, now, today!!! Start the plan! We can all make you accountable.

DS

Slinky

I have dreamed of being good at crafts, but I also find clutter very wearing. I look at pictures of people's craft rooms and IMO crafting and clutter free seem to be mutually exclusive unless you are extremely disciplined and tidy, which I'm not. We're moving somewhere smaller, I will hopefully be retiring early, I need my new pasttimes to exclude clutter!

Fire_Fox

(((Hug)))

Instagram is not real and it is arguably not Old Style. Social media is widely acknowledged to leave people feeling unhappy/ dissatisfied/ inadequate and other negative emotions.

Please consider closing your social media accounts, save just one that you use for close friends and close family. Please consider joining us on the 2019 A Clutter-free Life thread. Some are decluttering their homes, some are decluttering online stuff. People are reporting in on Spring cleaning, decorating or cooking from scratch. We are taking baby steps as well as big strides.

My parents and both sets of my grandparents lived in towns and cities (Leeds, London). They gave their gardens and windowsills over to producing food, worked an allotment for more fruit and vegetables, cooked from scratch, even kept chickens. I remember a lot of "look after the pennies, and the pounds will look after themselves" and "make do and mend". I am in my mid-forties so it was not that long ago, but it was before the age of mobile phones and the internet and TV subscriptions.

Instead of thinking about what you do not have, it can be really helpful to start with what you DO have. In a practical, factual way so that you can release time, money, physical and mental space to start working towards your dreams.

How much time DO you have? There are 168 hours in a week. You spend X hours asleep, X hours actually at work, X hours commuting/ travelling to work ... Be brutal. What is left?

How much money DO you have? Your monthly income is £££. Your essential bills are ££. Essential means the ones you cannot change much (rent/ council tax/ public transport/ water bill/ electricity/ TV license) ... Be brutal. What is left?

Obviously you will want to spend some of that time and some of that money on non-essential stuff, or on modern conveniences, on things you really enjoy or really appreciate. But do so consciously, actively making each choice, instead of pretending you 'have to' or 'need to' or 'yeah but'.

Hopefully that makes some sort of sense.

Wednesday2000

downshifter wrote: »

A friend of mine and her husband wanted to travel around Europe in a tatty motorhome but giving up their jobs/house etc seemed a huge step and they could see in their 50s that it wasn't coming any nearer and was still just a dream. She plotted it out on flipchart paper and stuck it on the wall in their kitchen where they couldn't avoid it and could tick things off, or add post-it notes where new ideas, better ways occurred to them, - the bigger aims, a time scale and things they would do each week towards it were all on there (such as decluttering, looking for freelance work, selling stuff, growing a few practice veg, motor mechanics classes, lots of reading/ making notes.)

And they did it within 18 months and off they went to Italy on the first leg of their trip.

I agree with you.:T

Any point in my life that I achieved anything I did it by being very specific about what my goal was and putting it in writing where I could see it and making sure that I chart my progress.

thriftwizard

To some extent, I'm living your dream; I live in a small town on the edge of the countryside, I keep chickens, grow fruit & veg and do crafts. I'm lucky enough to be self-employed doing something I love, BUT I can only do these things as my OH has a steady job that brings enough in for us and the two of our offspring still at home (numbers actually vary; sometimes there are three) to live on, albeit not luxuriously. He earns it, I spend it cautiously & stretch it as far as it'll go! (And I totally agree that crafts can all too easily result in clutter...)

However, that said, I have several friends who are single and do live the "simple" life; one lives very rurally (cheaper rent, but fewer facilities; she has to drive for everything) and has her own cake business which keeps her car on the road. Like me, she rarely buys new clothes or pre-prepared food; she hardly ever switches the heating on, relying on the stove in the living room for winter warmth, and is up & away to take her cake stall to events at 5 or 6am every Saturday as well as doing wedding & birthday cakes every evening during the week. Hard work, with no let-up, but she's self-reliant, sober and happy. But - only whilst her health lasts...

I can't help fretting about your "violent" job; that doesn't sound good. I can see why you want out & would agree that setting goals is the way forward. It is all do-able, but takes a lot of persistence; my friend waited a long time for an "estate" house to come up for rent (they are usually unfurnished & looking for long-term, local tenants, but will be very basic unless the rent is sky-high) & could never afford to buy around here.

Her style is absolutely vintage - and that's because it's what she can afford. Around here, people are merrily throwing out genuine vintage stuff to make room for new stuff that they perceive as being more valuable because it costs more, so we can pick up good pieces very cheaply from car boot sales etc.! Paint is free from our household recycling centre, so picking up old brown furniture & painting it to achieve that "vintage" look is cheap & easy; just add some old plaid blankets as curtains & throws & rugs from the jumble sales in the wealthy suburbs & it's eat your heart out, Laura Ashley!

Yes, you can do a lot where you are - learn crafts, bake, grow herbs at least - and that will stand you in good stead when the time comes to make that move. Don't lose sight of your eventual goal, and it will happen!

lessonlearned

I totally agree with picking up good solid pieces of furniture and revamping them.

I bought an 80s orange pine welsh dresser for £25. Spent around £25 replacing a shelf that was missing, new knobs and paint. Saw an almost identical dresser in Laura Ashley's for £600.

Same with my fashionable pale grey scandi style kitchen table and chairs......£10 for a set of 6 chairs to match a very large farmhouse style pine table which cost me £90. About £20 on paint.

Jenny painting furniture is so easy and you can totally transform the most unprepossesing bits of old tat.

Curtains, old linen, rugs etc can be picked up from charity shops. I picked up a beautiful pure wool Turkish rug, 10ft x 12ft for £15. It looks fabulous and is really warm and cosy.

If you like vintage china charity shops sell it for peanuts, same with crystal glassware. You really don't need to spend a lot of money to get the vintage look. It just takes time and patience to source what you are looking for and then a bit more time and patience to do them up to your exact liking or specification.

I too was a bit concerned when you said your job was violent.....I would think getting a different job would be your top priority.

Get that sorted and everything else can happen in the fullness of time.

CollieDog2

I look at that Instagram page and her blog is still out there.

It's a fantasy world. There was a post a few years back about why she decided to home school the twins. One was being bullied in school. I wonder how those girls will cope in the "real" world? They won't be able to live in the fantasy of their Mum forever.

I love old china and we use it daily. I bake on weekends. I knit gifts for the new babies of my coworkers.

But I live in an area where winter lasts six months of the year. No way could we live like the old days. Our heating bills would be sky high (well higher than they are now).

By all means make your home environment your dream style. But don't shut the door on reality.

Angel_Jenny

pattypan4 wrote: »

it won`t happen unless you make it happen. Youtube for learning crafts and baking. Where there is a will, there is a way. It won`t drop into your lap while you sit and dream

That is true ..... I have always put others first so (stupid as it sounds) it is scary to try something new and to try and change when there is such potential to fail.

Angel_Jenny

-taff wrote: »

Well, the dream sounds nice, but it doesn't get achieved by doing nothing, you've heard the saying 'If you do what you always done, you get what you always got' havent you?
I'm not sure too whether the longing for these kind of things comes from a disaprity between your life at the moment. Have you always longed for these things or did you start longing for them when you started your job, or moved to the city etc. Trace it back to see if you can work out why you want them.
If you decide that yes, these things are concrete things you want, then you alone can steps to achieve them, take an evening class, watch some Youtube, see f there are any classes near you in community centers, check online for MeetUps [look at the website] etc. Things can be grown in the tiniest of gardens, think up rather than in the ground, put up trellis, bamboo canes, wath a few gardening programmes, again, there's Youtube, have a look on allotments, see if you can have one.
Good luck.

I have always had a longing for the older ways vintage heart I guess. But there was always more important stuff going on (carer from childhood then full time stepmother) and I just got used to ignoring what I wanted & was interested in. So it isn't just since the job etc although that has made me realise that I need something in my life that is for me.

I am going to clear out the garden and weed / cut back / get rid of junk and then have a good look at the space I actually have. There is definitely room for some pots for vegetables.

Angel_Jenny

Prinzessilein wrote: »

You say you want to make a list of things YOU can change....

YOU can get rid of some of your clutter!...do a little at a time...and when you decide something goes out then it GOES OUT!!!

YOU can start to learn crafts...if possible then ask at wool/craft shops for details of workshops...many of them will actually hold classes in the shop...or have coffee morning s with people only too eager to share skills...if this isn't convenient then teach yourself!...there are books and YouTube tutorials to help you.

YOU can learn to bake well...it takes practice..and even the 'flops' are more-often-than-not edible!

YOU can start growing things in a small garden....even with NO garden!...herb pots on the kitchen windowsill might be a good start...and you can use the herbs whilst building up your 'old-style' cooking skills!

YOU can look at changing your job! Yes, it is a big step, but if you have a job it means you have job-skills! Look at what job you would like...how do your current skills match those needed in a job you want to do?..

I worked in admin for 12 years before going into minimum wage care work. I am not a career girl I just want to earn a bit more and for there to be less violence.

I was thinking of finding an old lady locally and convincing her to teach me to knit. :rotfl:

Maybe if I set a task like bake something once a week ...... at the moment it is too easy to just sit and watch tv etc - bad habits.