Sometimes life changes.....

Eugh

So I'm just embarking on my journey to be debt free so I thought I'd write a diary to keep myself accountable.

So onto the boring bit about how I got where I am...

So 2015 everything was going great - husband, a lovely 3 year old and a new dream job that paid a decent wage! I had a credit card but nothing unmanageable - I wasn't paying the full amount off every month, but it wasn't huge and wasn't impacting on my life at all.

Then things changed.... first in a great way! I discovered I was pregnant (we were only trying for a short while and were thrilled), then discovered it was twins - we were so happy!

The babies were born in mid 2016 - and everything was great... until I developed post natal depression in Jan 2017. In february my husband, totally out of the blue left me. I was at the lowest point of my life and I didn't know what to do. I ended up spending more and more money to try and prove to myself that the children were going to have as good a life without their dad. In august I went back to work, and managed one shift. I was still struggling with my PND, and I worked in an area that I needed to be 100% every shift. So I was signed off onto long term sick. I felt useless! I felt as if I had failed as a wife, mum and had failed in my career... which unfortunately caused me to feel suicidal. So I spent more, and more. Because I thought I wouldn't have to pay it back as I would be dead....

Anyway long story short, I made a very decent suicide attempt - but (spoiler report) after a long stay in ITU the wonderful NHS pulled me back from the brink of death and I survived. Only now I had debt. And lots of it.

Due to both my mental health issues and childcare costs I had to go part time in my job - dropping my wages from £35,000 to £21,500. Prior to my husband leaving we had minimal childcare costs as he would have the children when I was at work (working shifts was great for us as a couple) but I'm now in a situation where I need to pay for 14 hours of child care twice a week (6am - 8pm) totalling £280 a week.

So as you can see I have had huge changes in my life that have led to me being in the situation I am in.

I'm currently in £27,000 of debt and am just embarking on a DMP - I've only got as far as sending out the holding letters but it's a positive start.

I've seen many places that say that you should inform your creditors of any vulnerabilities you have and MH issues are classed as a vulnerability.... I'm not really sure how I would go about doing this. It would have to be in writing because I don't fancy explaining my situation over the phone, but I'm conscious as it may come across as if I'm making excuses for myself for my debt or trying to swing for a 'sympathy vote' somehow. But this is next on my list of things to do...

I've decided on a budget that I'm embarking on this week. I'm going to start an emergency fund prior to starting my DMP payments, which I'm going to start in September (if creditors agree).

I'm feeling pretty positive at the min because it feels good to actually be doing something! It looks as if I should be out of debt in 6.5 years - although I've learned that things can quickly change so I'm aware I could be debt free before or after that. Im hoping for before!

I'm going to try and update on here as often as possible so prepared to be bored by me frequently! I think posting should keep my eye on the prize!

Thanks for reading

Eugh x

PositiveBalance

Hi Eugh! :wave:

Welcome and congratulation of taking the first step and posting. It is the hardest.

It seems that life has thrown you around a bit in the past few years but as you said yourself, sometimes life changes, so here's hoping this diary is the start of a positive new chapter in your finances and your life.

I would inform your creditors of your MH situation as you have a big mountain to climb and even a small big of extra help could make the world of difference for you.

Would you like any help with the budget? If so, post it on here and some sharp eyes will notice the holes you might miss.

Most important of all, be kind to yourself. Impossible as it may sound, the old saying 'it's only money' does have some currency in and of itself (although I can only see the truth of that half the time myself! :rotfl:)


Here's to beating the debt in less than 6.5 years! :T

Eugh

Thanks for taking the time to reply

Yeah it's been a bit of a rocky few years but I've literally been to the very bottom, so the only way is up!

I'm ok with my budget, it's solid with some wiggle room - without making things too hard on myself. My issue is that since I had PND I'm an 'emotional spender' which is a pattern I need to get out of. Hence me writing on here.

I think tomorrow evening I'll try and find a way to word a letter to the creditors about my MH struggles over the last couple of years... Should make for a fun task haha

Scott-Weiland

There is a section on the forum where you can ask Stepchange advisors questions i know they potentially may not be dealing with your dmp but you could ask them regarding your mental health question.

Click on there and you can pm a step change advisor and they will give you help advise re your debts and mental health advice.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/member.php?u=575529

I have myself issues re mental health, i have told a few companies when i have spoken with them most are actually okay. I think my most recent one was Scottish Power when i changed tariffs

Honeysucklelou2

Wishing you all the best on your debt free journey. Childcare costs are tricky...will you get help with these in Sept after the twins turn 3? I was able to get 15 hours of funded childcare which has reduced my childcare bill a little.

BabyStepper

Are you getting maintenance from your ex? Hope so.

Good luck with everything.

UncannyScot

Hi and welcome

A resource that I and many folks that I know use for advice and info relating to MH issues is The Blurt Foundation, check em out if you haven't already.

As others have said, please do inform your creditors of your circumstances with regards MH.

Good luck on your journey and we are all here to help each other so if you need any info or advice on anything, just post up and we'll help out OK
(((((HUGS)))))

beanielou

Happy shiny new diary.
Wishing you well on your DF journey

SnuggleBuggles

Bless you, Eugh. You've sure had it tough.

Sending you hugs (as well as all the luck in the world for your DMP journey and beyond).

Onwards and upwards!

xx

Eugh

Thanks everyone!

I've emailed the SC advisor so hopefully I'll get some ideas of how to address contacting the creditors in regards to my MH... I hate trying to word letters myself. I always worry I sound ridiculous!

I am getting maintenance from my ex - £89 a week. Which I know is much more that some people get. But when I'm paying £280 a week for child care it doesn't really help massively. It gets easily swallowed up within the budget! The twins will be starting nursery through their school in September and the uniform will cost a fortune... as will my eldest's uniform too! I am lucky in that I am part of the twin association so I get discount on Clarks etc (even my eldest) so thats something.

Having 2 babies at once is bloody expensive - its a good job they're cute!

Sofee3

Welcome and well done on your post, I wish you the best