Giving up/ Cutting Down Alcohol Thread Part 16

Arkers

Good afternoon everyone,
4 please Cathy
Arkers x

Barny1979

3/21 AFDs today 

Season_of_Mist

Cathybird I’ve been thinking (dangerous I know) about your post regarding AF totals and the follow-up comments by a number of posters esp maggiem, marahouti, maman and sukeyboo. Interesting comments from all.

I do agree that the numbers themselves are not the most important or relevant thing in and of itself. I see what you mean about feeling for new posters in particular who set very high goals and then fall away when those targets are not reached. It is also connected, I think, to what we were discussing on here a couple of weeks ago with new contributors arriving in a blaze of posts in the early days then also falling away after a short time. Really what I am seeing is that sticking with it - regardless of the number itself whether high or relatively low - is the really significant thing. It just all helps to ingrain some healthy habits and routines around alcohol which, let’s face it, can be very insidious and subtle in the way that it can take over and have us revolving our lives around it. 

I have said on here before that I have always envied those people who are just able to take or leave alcohol, they might have the odd drink and then not so much as think about it again for another four or five weeks. Booze just doesn’t have any hold over them. They are in charge, they dictate the terms on which they may choose to have a drink - or not.

I know I am in the middle of a long, dry spell having done similar the last two summers. I do sometimes feel - not guilty exactly - but a bit sheepish, maybe, if I come to update another AF month on here and I am posting right after someone who is struggling, having a bad month etc, and may only have managed a few AF days, then I blurt out with ‘Another AF month for me please cathybird, that’s me up to three months in a row now!’ At worst it could appear insensitive and un-empathic. I am doing these dry months solely to prove - purely to myself and for myself - that I can break the spell. I had relied on alcohol for so long and it had played so many different parts in my life at various stages (as a stimulant, a dis-inhibitor, an ice breaker, social passport, relaxant, emotional crutch, reward for hard work, recognition for any achievement, solace when I needed it, plain stupefaction when I craved it, all of these things and more besides) that I was fearful of what would happen if I just...did without it. That’s what I meant when I said in 2018 I did my first AF week for many years and I turned around at the end of that week and saw to my amazement, really, that the world hadn’t ended, life carried on much as before and I was still here. Alcohol had made me doubt it was possible, you see. That’s the true significance of an AF month (or several in a row), to me at least, not the number itself. 

6/31 please, cathybird.

RobM99

6/21 and I've found it really easy. Boom!

sukeyboo

Really enjoyed reading your post Season of mist - very thought provoking and insightful 🙂

cathybird

August

7 days =

14 days =

21 days =

28 days =

Target reached =

Target beaten =

August targets

Arkers 4/10

Arsenal 2/15

Barny 3/21

cathybird 6/21

Cuppa

lantanna 4/15

maggiem 4/18

maman 4/10

marahouti 5/21

PriceySOS 20

RobM99 6/21

Season of Mist 6/31

Shaggydoo

sukeyboo 4/10

WBF 1/12

ALL WELCOME TO JOIN!

cathybird

Season of Mist, I knew I was writing really quite a tricky post, because I was trying to say that people setting lower targets aren't doing less well than people setting higher targets, but that could come across as a way of undermining people setting higher targets, which really wasn't what I meant, and I hope that's obvious? ... If people want to cut out altogether, temporarily or otherwise, that's great, it's not easy. We're all aiming for a healthier relationship with alcohol, however that's achieved.

I suppose I'm also conscious that there are probably lurkers who are thinking about cutting down and I know before I joined this thread that I would have thought doing even half the days in the month was too big an ask. Starting in any way no matter how seemingly small is also really important.

Thanks for your post, I hope I haven't come across as saying something I really wasn't meaning to. xx

Season_of_Mist

Not at all cathybird, totally get what you mean and I agree, it just started a chain of thought in my own head about numbers/targets and their significance (or not) that I had to try and write down.

Think next time I’ll just follow RobM99’s lead and keep it short and to the point!

Have a good Friday all and keep cool if you can in the very hot weather we are expecting.

maggiem

Actually I think these recent posts have been really helpful. So please don't just post briefly as reading the posts helped me for one, and others too from all the comments, to clarify their thinking. Honeybear often used to post something that challenged thinking and I really valued that. 

It's a gorgeous day here, hope the sun is shining on everyone wherever you are. Happy weekend. I'm intending having a drink the next three days but will be reading and starting again on Monday. Good luck with whatever others decide to do.

Wanna_Bee_Free

Please keep posting long thoughts Season of Mist. Ages ago back in Molly Polly's day the thread used to have lengthy discussions about everything from skin tingles to HALT triggers. It's great everyone pops in daily with a number and I love the star charts way more than I would have thought but I think it is good if the thread is also a place to discuss anything related to drinking less.