Giving up/ Cutting Down Alcohol Thread Part 16

maman

Sorry to hear your news love a sale . I'm not sorry it's done but that it's left you feeling down. Well done on your 10 days so far. That's something you can control. :A

7/10 AFDs please Shaggy .

Barny1979

13/26 AFDs today

Arkers

Good morning everyone,
12 please Shaggy
Arkers x

marahouti

Good morning everyone. 10/21 and 2/5 SNC please Shaggy. Thank you. X

cathybird

Morning all, 14/21 for me, too fatigued from travelling to be out on the town.

Honey_Bear

Love a Sale, it sounds as though you're feeling very down, and I'm sorry about that. It always happens after a heavy drinking session so it was to be expected, but the relationship ending was probably always going to happen after you realised he was playing away. It's sad it ended on a bad note, but these things happen when two unfortunate sets of circumstances collide, booze and unfaithfulness in this case. It's over, the potential of a shared future isn't there any more and it's time to take stock and re-invent yourself.

You may decide you want to go on as you are, in which case you don't need to do anything.

Alternatively, you may decide that booze and you have a problematic relationship and scary though that realisation might be, it is something that you can change. The important thing is that whatever way you decide to change it, you need to choose a way of doing it that suits you. In the first instance it might be worth visiting your GP to discuss what support there is locally.

It may be AA, it could be Soberistas https://soberistas.com/ it could be any one of a number of options including this thread. It really, really helped, and gave me a trusted group of people who were all dealing with booze for one reason or another. I found it hugely helpful because it was totally anonymous and everyone had a different take on the issue of booze. They're all valid. I also used Belle's 100 Day Challenge and it worked brilliantly for me. There may be a small cost with all of them after an ititial free trial - it's peanuts compared to what booze has been costing you.

And, given this is a money saving website, that's where I'd start. Can you work out how much you've spent on booze in the last month, and the last year? Once you've done that you can't forget that figure, and it's another motivator. On it's own it probably isn't enough to stop you from giving in to temptation, but every little helps while you're going through the transition from being someone who thinks they may be drinking too much, to being someone who doesn't even think about booze any more.

I love reading, so I read sober blogs, and books by women who had issues with alcohol and decided to tackle them. I was interested in their stories, and reading them helped me but if you don't enjoy reading then it won't be helpful.

It's the biggest single thing I've ever done and honestly, the best and I can't recommend it enough. I'm now at the stage where I forget people behave badly when they've had a few drinks sometimes, and just get puzzled when they kick off during an evening out. I forget to have my Becks Blue every evening with my meal because I just don't think about it any more. It's a huge relief and a thousand times easier than having the 'One won't hurt' conversation in my head every single day. It's just easier being a non-drinker and while I might occasionally think it would be nice to have a glass of red wine, I don't miss it.

I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide to do. We can't undo the past, but we can build ourselves a new future.

15/31 please, Shaggy.

Season_of_Mist

loveasale, I have not posted before about your BF trouble as I am definitely not in a position to comment or offer advice, having said that your post does read as though you are looking to place some of the blame for what has happened on yourself. I am not sure that is either being fair to yourself or particularly healthy. All I can say is that I am sure, when he made the choices he did, that your drinking didn’t feature in his thinking at all, one way or another. The sort of choices he made are motivated by all sorts of impulses, mostly very selfish and ego-centric, and your drinking really just wouldn’t have been a factor, so trust me, there is not any mileage in starting to blame your behaviour around drink.

If you can use this episode as a personal motivation for drinking less then that’s great, but he alone is responsible for the choices he made, not you.

Sorry don’t mean to come across as though I have all the answers, I really don’t, but trying to link your drinking to his behaviour in this case is just not going to be healthy.

Your total of 10/14 is however very positive and that is something totally within your control.

PriceySOS

11 please, thanks xx

maman

No plans to drink today. I'll be out and driving tonight and tomorrow night so don't even think about it. And it's a very long time since I considered wasting an AF day by having a nightcap when I get home.:D

8/10 AFDs please Shaggy

sukeyboo

Wishing you a speedy recovery AnnieG - hope your results come back OK.

Sorry to hear of your BF troubles loveasale but please try not to beat yourself up about it - he was the one deceiving you :mad:

Was AF yesterday and will be today so up to 8/12 please Shaggy