Butchery Advice Wanted

Galtizz

moggins wrote:

DH has been signed off for another month - how many pieces would I need to cut him into before he'll fit in the slow cooker?

Curry_Queen wrote:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

The same amount as a pig I'd presume ... well we do taste like pork after all

Murtle wrote:

but if we were chopped up on a butchers counter, we'd look like beef.... :eek:

:eek: :eek: :eek: How do you both know :eek: second thoughts, I don't want to know, I presume you both have nice new patios :rotfl:

Sorry to hear things aren't getting any better Moggins, hope things get better soon.

squeaky

idiot wrote:

what is DH?

i guess OH is other half, but am puzzled with DH.

I'm betting on Dastardly Husband

Or maybe it's Dear Husband

Bargain_Rzl

Blimey moggins, that's one way of making sure he puts food in his family's mouths if he ends up on half pay!

In answer to your original question, it depends if you bulk him out with beans or not :drool:

And what's he off with? If it's injury, make sure you cut off the damaged bits. If it's stress, he might need a couple more hours in the slow cooker to soften him up. If it's physical illness, I doubt if he's fit for human consumption...

elona

You could just stick an apple in his mouth and roast him on a spit - then charge for admission to a medieval event?

Curry_Queen

Galtizz wrote:

:eek: :eek: :eek: How do you both know :eek: second thoughts, I don't want to know, I presume you both have nice new patios :rotfl:

I've done plenty of operations and PM's on animals in my time but I'm sooooo envious of Murtle and would love to cut up a human body





Any volunteers?

Murtle

careful you don't know what you might get....I think it was Germany that had those cannibals...and they had LOTS of internet bods applying to be *eaten* all a little strange....

elvis_bloggs

I bet Martin knows a cheap butcher.

tru

I can't believe you lot are laughing - this is a very serious issue.

It really depends on what you use for the chopping. For example, today I almost did some hubby-chopping-up with a paint scraper and a crowbar, there was a hammer on the worktop but I don't think that would have been any good. However, as hubby is doing up my office (woo-hoo I have an office, ok it's more cupboard-sized than office-sized but it's mine all mine and it makes me feel important) I thought it best to wait until he's finished.

Moggins, I have 2 freezers so you're welcome to store bits of him at my house.

Ticklemouse

You could always do it a bit at a time so the meat will always be fresh. You know, just start with a leg. He won't be able to follow you as fast if he's hopping

moggins

Thanks Troo - it might come to that very soon, he just bogged off out half way through the arrival of the Tesco delivery

If it wasn't for my parents coming tomorrow I'd go into town tomorrow and sit outside Starbucks and drink coffee all day!!!

The chinese cleaver is razor sharp thanks to the butcher. I just need to know what size joints to cut