Getting a Child integrated into Nursery

Zola.

My 9 month old son is going to day care / nursery for 4 days a week from April. I am kinda dreading it We have no family close by sadly.

My wife is going back to work, it will be great to have her earning money again, but I hate the thought of our son feeling deserted by us for up to 10 hours a day.

So far he has been going to day care for a couple of hours at a time, twice a week to get used to the place. He cries when he is handed over, but they say he starts playing and is ok a few minutes later. He is at that funny stage now where I pick him up in the morning from his cot and take him downstairs.....if I set him down for a second to close the door he thinks I am running away and can start crying ! He stops as soon as I am back haha.


I am sure I am not the only one who has felt this way, its gonna suck when it comes to it.

Any words of advice?

:eek:

Comms69

Personally I never even considered nursery at that age, so I cant help.


Why 10 hours a day, apart from costing a fortune it seems unnecessarily long

maman

Just chill!! He'll be fine.:)


I'm sure you've chosen the nursery carefully and like what you see so just relax. Your son is at a stage where he's learned that he can manipulate his surroundings/take control. He knows he'll get a response if he does certain things, like cry.;) From what you've written you know he can turn it on and off at will so you'd know the difference if he was in pain.


I remember feeling the same when my DD started nursery. She put on a show of not wanting to be parted from me. Her teacher told me she was always fine when I left. So one day I pretended to leave and peeped through the window and she was right!:D

Zola.

Comms69 wrote: »

Personally I never even considered nursery at that age, so I cant help.

Why 10 hours a day, apart from costing a fortune it seems unnecessarily long

Wife and I work close by, I start at 8.30... finish at 5, by the time we leave and come back its closer to 5.45..

Zola.

maman wrote: »

Just chill!! He'll be fine.:)


I'm sure you've chosen the nursery carefully and like what you see so just relax. Your son is at a stage where he's learned that he can manipulate his surroundings/take control. He knows he'll get a response if he does certain things, like cry.;) From what you've written you know he can turn it on and off at will so you'd know the difference if he was in pain.


I remember feeling the same when my DD started nursery. She put on a show of not wanting to be parted from me. Her teacher told me she was always fine when I left. So one day I pretended to leave and peeped through the window and she was right!:D

The nursery does seem good, I guess its just the worry of the length of time. My wife is off on Wednesdays so she will have the day with him in the middle of the week. Not sure if that will help of hinder things!!

chelseablue

My son went to nursery from when he was 10 months old

I used to drop him off at 8am as I started work at 8:30

I finished at 5 so by the time I got there it was around 5:30

He liked going there, other children to play with and loads of activities

He's 4 now and in Reception. Unfortunately being a stay at home mum wasn't an option for me

maman

Zola. wrote: »

The nursery does seem good, I guess its just the worry of the length of time. My wife is off on Wednesdays so she will have the day with him in the middle of the week. Not sure if that will help of hinder things!!

It's a routine. He'll adapt. Children do. You could just as easily worry that he's not going on Saturdays and Sundays!;)

chelseablue wrote: »

My son went to nursery from when he was 10 months old

I used to drop him off at 8am as I started work at 8:30

I finished at 5 so by the time I got there it was around 5:30

He liked going there, other children to play with and loads of activities

He's 4 now and in Reception. Unfortunately being a stay at home mum wasn't an option for me

That may have been your preferred choice but many women (me included) actually want to work. For many people (men and women) there's more to work than just needing/wanting the money.:)

Comms69

Zola. wrote: »

Wife and I work close by, I start at 8.30... finish at 5, by the time we leave and come back its closer to 5.45..

Sorry I wasnt clear; would a part time job not be more suitable?

chelseablue

maman wrote: »

It's a routine. He'll adapt. Children do. You could just as easily worry that he's not going on Saturdays and Sundays!;)




That may have been your preferred choice but many women (me included) actually want to work. For many people (men and women) there's more to work than just needing/wanting the money.:)

I said unfortunately as if you say you don't want to be a stay at home mum some people (not on here) are very quick to judge, in the past I've had "why don't you want to stay at home with your child"

I've worked full time since I was 17 and I love it, not just for the money but also the adult conversation

gettingtheresometime

Ok bad mummy alert.


Our son went to nursery at 6 months and I carefully chose the nursery he went to ...even got a tour of the kitchens which was about 40 mins from our home but a 10 min walk from where OH worked.


I was the 1st person in our family to go back to work after having a baby as well which (I think) ruffled a few feathers but fortunately everybody had the good grace not to say anything.


I think it was harder on me - society still judges you - but he loved it there and the staff become like family...in fact when he left I sat in the car for 10 mins before going in crying and then another 10 mins whilst saying goodbye to everyone.


Later on we noticed that when he started school, he had no issues about going as I guess he saw it as a continuation of going to nursery

Comms69

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Ok bad mummy alert.


Our son went to nursery at 6 months and I carefully chose the nursery he went to ...even got a tour of the kitchens which was about 40 mins from our home but a 10 min walk from where OH worked.


I was the 1st person in our family to go back to work after having a baby as well which (I think) ruffled a few feathers but fortunately everybody had the good grace not to say anything.


I think it was harder on me - society still judges you - but he loved it there and the staff become like family...in fact when he left I sat in the car for 10 mins before going in crying and then another 10 mins whilst saying goodbye to everyone.


Later on we noticed that when he started school, he had no issues about going as I guess he saw it as a continuation of going to nursery

People will always judge.


My personal opinion I think was obvious from my post. a child should be with a parent - not necessarily mum - but obviously the choice is between you and your husband / partner on nursery