I Want To Retire

enthusiasticsaver

Nothing wrong with re gifting. Makes sound financial sense as well as being environmentally friendly. Less clutter around the house too.

SAVVYSCOT

Helllo friends.

Well, it's been a tough month or two. And now things are very very tight financially. So tight that we are considering a loan. Things are not great.

Many factors have resulted in us ending in this position by mainly... my handbag was stolen on the first day of holiday along with ALL my money (including my emergency cash that I hadn't even had a chance to take out my bag) but it wasn't covered in insurance because I only went and covered myself for medical things and flights etc and not my handbag :wall: (FYI I was aware I did this - I was not duped). I then had to go and withdraw the same (ish) again to actually live off.

Appears we have bitten off more than we can chew/over committed. I take sole responsibility as my husband will say can we afford this and i usually respond "it's finnnneee". Well. It's turns out, I was wrong .

Huge party overspending - again I take responsibility - as I was terrified people wouldn't enjoy themselves (spoiler - everyone had a blast) :beer:

My family member has asked for their money back... just so we're clear on how catastrophic that request is - it's 10k we owe them :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:. I have about 7k in my pension ISA (which is actually my pension) so we will us that and take out a loan or cash on a credit card (ideally 0% one) to repay. They asked for it next Friday :eek: but have said to wait just now until they sort some things out - buying us some time - but we don't know how much right now.

Our credit card is now up at around 5.5k. :eek:

In my defence life has been getting on top of me, two toddlers who do not sleep the last few months has made me feel like a walking zombie. I'm very VERY tired. Also got bad stomach issues causing ALOT of pain all the time. I think i've just put my head in the sand...which is funny as I used to wonder how people did that...but now I know!!! :rotfl::(:rotfl::(:rotfl:

I know we should be trying to not put anymore on anything etc. but I am in just pure survival mode until our next payday (end of the month). Once that happens I feel we will be able to...i dunno...breathe?

Moral of this post - Get handbag cover. Don't go on holiday. Don't have parties. Don't put your head in the sand and get some sleep.

On that note...i'm off to bed

SAVVYSCOT

Ohh and I've got tonsillitis and hubby has been working late at work the last few weeks.

Soooo if i sound grumpy, it's because i am

SAVVYSCOT

My sister had a health scare last night, which was basically down to an infection and FATIGUE. Always going at 100 miles an hour. Rest is important all.

Before this (again, just last night) I considered taking the kids to a messy play group today (would put on cc). Just wanted to do something fun that I know they would love. Would also cost just under £10.

But realised - what am i thinking?!?!?!?

The weather is glorious, we have no money AT ALL and we are all very very tired after alot going on. we are staying put and playing in the garden and I am going to get some tasks ticked off the list! Eat some good healthy food and recover.

Today and tomorrow we will rest, so expect me to be reading your diaries :rotfl:

jwil

I hope you are all feeling a bit better today. You are right, rest is so important.

It's a shame about your family member wanting the money back, but I always find money to family the hardest debts as there is emotion involved, so it might be best to just see the back of that one. If you are using the pension money, you'll only need to borrow the £4k, don't be tempted to get a little more or consolidate otherwise you are just exacerbating the problem.

Have you sat down and done a full soa and proper budget? Try and budget some for childrens activities, they shouldn't go on a credit card (you know that, and I was just as bad before )

In this lovely weather you can just go to the park, play outdoors (you can do messy play in your own garden), there's no need for going to paid places.

It's only 2 weeks til the end of the month, have you got stuff in the house you can eat up to reduce the grocery spends? Anything you can sell?

You'll be fine

redofromstart

Just catching up, hope you find an acceptable solution to the family loan.

I was mostly at home with my boys, and what I found was that I was buying them something/doing something paid for nearly every day. They were not rude and ungrateful, but it got to be an expectancy, that we would get sweets on the way back from the park or if we admired something in a shop it would be bought. Things lose their value along the way. It's is possible to have fun and make happy memories for free, in the park, in the woods. My pair still say their best memory of a day out ever was being allowed to jump in every puddle round the flooded reservoir and having to drive home in their underwear.

SAVVYSCOT

Guys. Your posts have been SO helpful. This is why people should start diaries, it really is.

jwil - THIS!!!! Why can't we do messy play in the garden?! I was thinking aww it's a waste of lentils/food colouring/spaghetti etc - but you know what! They are much more cheaper to replace than £10 for the exact same thing at the class!! And more creative and less stressful for me.

It's a complicated situation. We were actually planning to pay it back before they asked (which was always the deal to be fair) as it was constantly mentioned to us? Does that make sense? But my husband and i have agreed that if it is asked for again, regardless of whether they actually want it back or not, we will be getting a cc loan (0%) and paying them back and be done with it.

I promise we will get the exact amount that's due - I am actually quite debt adverse just seem to have a bad run of luck and complete disorganisation this last year.

redofromstart - I'm so glad I never replied to this this morning like I was initially going to. You have no idea how much I was reminded of this today. My eldest is very well behaved (for a two year old anyway ) but this last week I have saw some behaviour that I'm not happy with. Today was the straw that broke Mummy's back. Not just with toys etc. but with sweeties and treats aswell.

I have been better than I was (pre diary) but I'm nowhere near where I want to be. So it ends today. I've been picking up things in abundance because they were cheap or on sale or just soooooooo many sweets and treats and chocolate left over over from easter but it's stopping today. It's not just about money, i don't want my girls to be materialistic. People think materialistic is about expensive stuff, but it's not, it's about material item - free, cheap or expensive. Material items.

My kids are spoiled by aunts and grandparents, so from now on I'll leave the spoiling of them to them and I'm going to cut back. Showing them the best things in life are free.

Tomorrow is an already planned playdate and I've arranged one for next week at a park (free) with friends. Picnic and snacks (healthy ones!!).

Thanks again, guys. Your posts have helped more than you will know! I will keep you updated.

jwil

I think that's a great plan - family loans are so hard. When it's an anonymous business, it's so much easier to manage.

redofromstart

I'm the same, still buy bargain stuff for them. You don't want to know how many bags of mini eggs we have. Homemade play dough is great fun with littles. Making worms with leftover pastry too. It's hard work filling time without spending lots isn't it?

SAVVYSCOT

Hello All,

Not much to update on, however I figure if I want to get control of the debt and get back on track to retiring...EVER.. then I should really keep on top of the diary.

Very true jwil and redofromstart this will be my first and last family loan. It is hard entertaining little ones, however I feel I have become "lazy" and not opt for the easy and expensive option. I am working on changing that and I feel not only will the bank account benefit but my interaction with the girls will increase!

Still trudging through the month of May eagerly awaiting Payday!! Friday cannot come soon enough. Resisted some temptations. I was going to take my littlest swimming, but figure that can wait ONE week until we are out of the woods. We are using up stores of food and only buying fresh veg (on cc). Credit card bill is frighteningly high, but again just surviving and will start looking tackling that at payday!!

Our car is due for MOT and our oven nearly broke this morning - but it didn't, thankfully! Fingers crossed for me

Anyway. That's my quick update.

Until Friday...