Gift ideas for brother

JayJay100

Last year I found out that I had an older half brother, and two half sisters. My brother lives over 250 miles away, and we have only met up three times; once just the two of us, once with our partners and once with our sisters. He's one of those people who you can talk with for hours, but when you leave, you realise that he's given next to nothing away about himself, other than the family basics. I really like him, but I must admit that I thought our relationship would be one where we exchanged Christmas cards each year, and that would be about it.

Yesterday an invitation arrived for a meal at a local (and very expensive) hotel, to celebrate his birthday. I want to buy him something special, but I've no idea what, and I know that I'm adding extra pressure to myself, as it feels important to get it right. If I strip everything back, all I know about him is that he will be 55, he's a family man, he's done quite well for himself, he likes fast cars, he has a good sense of humour, he wears aftershave (I don't recognise it), his dress style is trendy casual (Converse boots), he likes Brie and bacon panini sandwiches, and drinks strong black coffee. On top of all this, I don't know if the rest of his family, other than his wife, know anything about us, as he was adopted, so I don't really want to do anything with 'brother' on.

Any ideas will be gratefully received, as I really am at a loss.

paddy's_mum

A cash donation to a charity that he supports or favours.

Keep_pedalling

If he likes a drink a nice bottle of wine, single malt or other favourite tipple should go down well. Otherwise have a quite word with his wife for ideas.

SuperPikachu

paddy's_mum wrote: »

A cash donation to a charity that he supports or favours.

What is with this current fad? Keep seeing people do it on FB.

Whittards can do you some nice coffee for him.

Otherwise i'd suggest messaging his wife/kids and asking!

Owain_Moneysaver

A USB stick in the shape of a fast car?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bugatti-Veyron-chiron-flash-memory/dp/B0721TS8VM

Put a collection of family photos from your side of the family on it to make it special. He can delete them if he doesn't like them.

paddy's_mum

SuperPikachu wrote: »

What is with this current fad?

Fad? Really?

That's odd because I've seen, heard about and done it all my life and I'm looking at 70!

Just because something has now become prevalent on social media doesn't mean it never even existed before the current era.

All those people who put a note in the loved one's obituary notice saying donations to so-and-so charity or good cause in lieu of flowers obviously don't realise they're victims of a current fad/fashion

JayJay100

Owain_Moneysaver wrote: »

A USB stick in the shape of a fast car?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bugatti-Veyron-chiron-flash-memory/dp/B0721TS8VM

Put a collection of family photos from your side of the family on it to make it special. He can delete them if he doesn't like them.

I love this idea, and it would be ideal for my sister, as I know that she doesn't have a lot to spend, but she does have access to photos of our mum, which I don't.

paddy's_mum wrote: »

A cash donation to a charity that he supports or favours.

Another great idea, but I have no idea of which charities he supports. I suppose I could do an 'I owe you one charitable donation' and ask him to name one. Well worth thinking about.

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

If he likes a drink a nice bottle of wine, single malt or other favourite tipple should go down well. Otherwise have a quite word with his wife for ideas.

I've no idea if he drinks, as each time we've met up, it's been lunch time and we've both been driving. I have no way of contacting his wife, as I only have his mobile number and e-mail.

JayJay100

[QUOTE Whittards can do you some nice coffee for him.

Otherwise i'd suggest messaging his wife/kids and asking![/QUOTE]

I did think of coffee, as part of a hamper idea, but the OH said that he's more than likely to have a pod machine; he's probably right, but there's always room for different coffee. Asking the wife/kids is out of the question, as I don't have her contact details and I don't know if the kids even know that we exist. He's adopted and I have no idea if he knew about any of us before last year. I know that I was brought up thinking that my birth mum was dead, and thinking that I was an only child. It's a subject that we've managed to avoid completely.

shiny76

JayJay100 wrote: »

he likes fast cars

A Track Day 'experience'? You can get them from £35+ through voucher sites

gettingtheresometime

Given that it's still early days in the building of the relationship I don't think I'd go too ott with the present especially as you're trying to second guess what he likes etc, especially as he's being a little guarded about personal details.


That said I'd almost be tempted to go a little jokey with the present - say a set of socks with a note saying something like after x no of years I thought I'd better play catch up.


Obviously as you get to know him and his tastes better, you will have a better idea of presents.

PasturesNew

I think a small "token gift" would be in order. You can't make any "grand gestures" because, as you say, you don't know who knows -and- you don't know his taste.

So just a small, but well thought out, "token gift" would do.... he clearly isn't in need of anything he can't buy for himself.

Blokes, on the whole, aren't as sentimental, so he won't be disappointed at what you give him (unless it's socks!)....

It's not your 'place' to give a fabulously thought out gift.... it's not your 'responsibility' to 'make up for all the years' - and, as you say, you don't know who knows, so it might seem "strange" if you gave something more than "the usual run of things".