found xxx sites been visited on my computer, how to deal with?

redballoon_2

Hi all.

I got home from work this evening, logged on to find that hubby has been looking at :mad: sites. I dont know how to approach this with him, do i just ignore it or say something? I feel really crap about it right now and just need someone to give me some advice really.

i know blokes do this, but i am feeling quite inadquate now.

Has anyone else been through this?

hobo28

Firstly be careful. Just because there are sites on there does not mean he has necessarily visited them. Often programs like spyware will randomly pop stuff up making it appear like he's visited. That said, you'd have probably noticed it as it would have popped up if you use it too.

That said though, its perfectly normal for a bloke to surf !!!!!! on the Internet. I always say, show me a man who doesn't and I'll show you a liar! Its not that you are not enough for him. Its well just natural I think. When I were a kid, the equivalent was top shelf mags, now its the Internet.

I know it probably sounds a bit hollow now but really its not the end of the world so long as its "normal" !!!!!! and not looking at anything extreme.

ckerrd

I think you should tell him that you know what he has been up to.

I suppose there is a wide range of "interests" from Playboy to Paedophilia and what might be considered harmless fun by him could be deeply distressing to anyone else.

If it has gone beyond what used to be the type of thing you could find in girlie calendars or page 3 I would ask him what he is doing

milkydrink

I don't think men looking a !!!!!! on the computer see it as we do. I think most men would think its harmless fun.
You could mention it, but unless its nasty/stange stuff I wouldn't get too worked up over it.
I'm not sure I would be too impressed in your shoes, but I don't think they attach much importance to it.

redballoon_2

Yeah I know what your saying Kim. it just bothers me that he is able to express his feelings as in typing them in to google, but is never very adventorous in bed (he had low self esteem after an ex was very harsh to him)

the sites are the usual titled pages, so nothing extreme or "wrong"

Alias_Omega

what you should do is get onto google, then go through the alphabet putting in letters in the google search bar, and see what people have searched for..

if its a problem then ask him about it, if its not then leave it as it will only lead to him clearing history, searched things etc.

If you want to know what pictures have been looked at, and the history has been cleared, you need to go into the Temporay Internet Files folder, and take a look at the pictures, as everything is saved there as the computer downloads then, so the webpages load faster.

milkydrink

Talking of !!!!!!. My friend sent me a jokey email of really huge fat virtually naked women in leather thongs, on motorbikes, ect, all sorts. You know the "have a laugh at this type of thing".
Anyway DD (20) saw it on the PC (as it was an attachment I'd had to dowload) & though it was DH's!!!
She told me I needed to see what sort of perverse kinky stuff he was looking at on the internet:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

ckerrd

What about discussing the sites with him in a non-judgemental way?

Obviously only if you are comfortable with this.

Typing in a search into google is not the same as expressing any sort of feelings. People are often drawn to see the aftermath of a car crash but that doesn't mean they want to be involved in one.

redballoon_2

thanks alias, i found the sites he went on by looking at the history, he isnt very pc literate so doesnt know how to clear where he's been etc...

i dont know if i should question him about it or not. i know he is not very confident talking about sex openly with me.

ckerrd

Alias_Omega wrote: »

what you should do is get onto google, then go through the alphabet putting in letters in the google search bar, and see what people have searched for..

if its a problem then ask him about it, if its not then leave it as it will only lead to him clearing history, searched things etc.

If you want to know what pictures have been looked at, and the history has been cleared, you need to go into the Temporay Internet Files folder, and take a look at the pictures, as everything is saved there as the computer downloads then, so the webpages load faster.

And if he doesn't know how to clear all of that out then he wants to get caught. Which may be his way of raising the subject (no pun intended)

louidog

Hubby may have wanted you to have "caught him out" and it could have been his way of wanting to discuss something with you. You might even want to drop into conversation that you would like to look at some websites and that you would like him to look with you.

Good luck!