Advice

star1984

Morning all,
First post and I wondered if you could possibly give me some advice.

I'm a bit of a softie when it comes to lending money (have lent to mum and step-dad, brother and sister in law and younger brother in past, when they get in a rough patch (all are currently paying me back)
Where I need help is that I lent a friend money last year and now its time that they said they would pay back, they aren't responding to any of my calls, texts or messages..

Any advice to get my money back or is it a case of I was an idiot to lend to a friend and to move on and take the loss?

Thank you in advance.

hazyjo

Never ever lend what you can't afford to lose.


What was the agreement for them to pay you back?


If you're not in contact with this 'friend' generally, then I would write it off and bin them. Doesn't sound like you've lost much of a friend if you don't speak to them or hear from them, let alone when you're chasing them for money.


Alternatively, if you have proof of the agreement, take them to the small claims court.


How much are we talking? Tens, hundreds or thousands?

star1984

I've been in regular contact with the friend for several years.
The payment plan was meant to be £80 a week starting January 1st this year. I have all the information on text message.

The amount is £867
Thank you for your reply

donnac2558

Take them to the small claims court. You have text messages proving they agreed to pay.

thorsoak

You've already lost a friend,when you loaned the money. So, send a text message saying that this is the last message before you get a summons for the small claims court.

itsanne

Sorry you've been treated like this when you were trying to help. It's why people generally recommend not lending.


£80 a week is quite a lot for someone who already "needed" to borrow money. While you could go the small claims route, you might have more success getting the money back if you suggest paying it back in smaller installments.

star1984

Thank you all for the advice.
I will message him once more and then like you say may need to take it further a different way.

onomatopoeia99

Too late now, but money lent to friends should be thought of a gift - lend it with no expectation of it being repaid and make your decision about whether or not to lend it on that basis. Anything else can just lead to strife and broken friendships.

hazyjo

That's a substantial amount - I would also be prepared to lose a friend like that. You have already rang, texted and messaged so presume you have asked if there's a problem or if there's any way you can come to some agreement, so I agree the next step is to send a letter (prob best way) saying unless you hear from them with a payment plan, you will have no choice but to reluctantly go to the small claims court. Sadly, I think this friend is a 'friend no more'.

star1984

Thank you.
I really thought I was helping the situation but just goes to show what I know.
I think the friendship beyond repair now.

unholyangel

You may want to consider small claims if you have some sort of proof/acknowledgement of the debt. However I've found some wisdom in the adage: If you loan a friend £20 and never hear from that friend again, it was probably worth every penny.


By chance was it them who suggested the Jan 1st repayment date? If so thats a surefire sign they can't be trusted to repay as agreed. Someone who was living hand to mouth would never be able to afford £80 a week and someone who was financially responsible would know things will be extra tight after christmas and that even if they're weekly paid (which they possibly are given the £80 a week agreement), they probably won't be paid enough to have recovered.