Feel folish

unindexed

yeah, I know, I'm, also been in situation when I drunk and saying stupid things, not the same as your husby, but also not so good.

all in all, it's just words and do not judge him too stricktly for what he said, cuz people offen said !!!! even being clean - what to say about druknards? we're all people and we have emotions which we want to express - and if he express it through the words, so until you you catch him cheating on you, I woundn't advise you to worry about, but if you really really worry - let's make a crash test for him (checking his loyalty) and then if he shows that he really ready for you betrayal - that's another case and you know what to do. The other question does it all really worth it? It's up to you.

Thanks!

JayJay100

Oh, what a horrible situation for you. I've got a couple of friends who have done similar to me, and for them, it's all about their egos and banter. They want to know that other people still find them attractive and they could 'pull' if they wanted to; they don't want to, but they want to know they can. Work colleague is dangerous territory; it's viewed as a safe environment, as these people are friends as well as colleagues, but the reality is that 'friendships' can end in an instant, and a gross misconduct allegations can appear just as quickly.

I think you have to talk openly to your husband, and tell him how hurt, confused and upset this is making you feel. It's also disrespectful. I'm no expert, but it could be that he's struggling with something: getting older, losing his hair or perhaps he doesn't feel as attractive as he did and he's handling it badly. I'd also be wary if there's a work colleague willing to play along, as these situations can very easily spiral out of control. If it is just banter and larking about, get him to take the suspect numbers out of his phone on nights out, but be aware that the other party could instigate the conversations, if she's getting a kick out of them too. I hope you can sort this out.

ska_lover

Could it possibly be banter? Or are we talking beyond that?

It is hard to know without knowing exactly what the messages say

I have seen some of the stuff that male workmates send each other (other males) - not even when drunk, and I can imagine a lot would be offended by it, and it is reciprocal as well - but they don't give it a second thought

It is hard to say without knowing them, what their workplace is like, and what the messages actually say x

Pollycat

ska_lover wrote: »

Could it possibly be banter? Or are we talking beyond that?

It is hard to know without knowing exactly what the messages say

I have seen some of the stuff that male workmates send each other (other males) - not even when drunk, and I can imagine a lot would be offended by it, and it is reciprocal as well - but they don't give it a second thought

It is hard to say without knowing them, what their workplace is like, and what the messages actually say x

There's a big difference - imho - between males sending other males rude texts and sending them to female colleagues. Which is what the OP says her husband is doing.
Not to mention asking for rude pictures. Which is what the OP's husband did.

And do the males who send other male colleagues rude texts lust after each other.
Which is what the OP says her husband texted to a female colleague.

ska_lover

Pollycat wrote: »

There's a big difference - imho - between males sending other males rude texts and sending them to female colleagues. Which is what the OP says her husband is doing.
Not to mention asking for rude pictures. Which is what the OP's husband did.

And do the males who send other male colleagues rude texts lust after each other.
Which is what the OP says her husband texted to a female colleague.

Ahh I agree - I misread the OP, as was typing whilst cooking dinner - re-reading my post actually makes no sense, its like i was replying to a different thread or something

Oh god if a female work colleague sent explicit pics to my husband and said 'here are the pictures you requested' - I would not be happy at all - it is unlikely I would stay with him if this is happening, and regularly. Even once is too much but this is taking the mickey

It is really poor behaviour on his part OP