How much housekeeping for 19 year old?

Savvy_Sue

mdean wrote:

No - They should both be out there standing on there own two feet leaving you in peace

Be fair, I think some parents genuinely don't mind their adult children at home with them. I know one 40+ chap still at home: he's house-trained, pays his way, and at least when his parents go away they don't panic that the house will be burgled while they're gone! (They also know he won't have any wild parties while they're gone!)

He probably could afford to move out, just, but they all have a better standard of living while he stays at home.

It wouldn't have suited me not to leave home - funny how so many of these adult children still living at home are chaps! - but as long as I don't feel my sons are incapable of living independently I wouldn't necessarily want to boot them out just because they reach a certain age.

mah_jong

mdean wrote:

No - They should both be out there standing on there own two feet leaving you in peace

A wee bit harsh....who knows the circunstances. And if the arrangement works, why not??

I know plenty of over twenties still at home. Its so diifficult in some areas to get affordable housing. And yes savvy sue the greater number would be guys! changed days...100 years ago, the chances are a spinster daughter would have stayed at home!!!


Going back tp the OP she says the daughter tells her she is paying too much...nothing like a bit of emotional blackmail to make us parents feel guilty!!!

Justamum

I think you have to teach your children how to manage money, and that includes "paying their way" when they are working.

I had a post office savings account from the age of 7 (35 years ago!) and my weeky 10p pocket money went on savings stamps to put into the account. When I was 13 my parents opened a current account for me, and put in £10 a month for clothing (they bought school uniform). I then had to save if I wanted clothes, etc. I had a summer job from the age of 12 so only got pocket money (£1 a week) in the winter months. When I started full-time work I had to pay £30 a week - this was 24 years ago. Over the years I have had to move back temporarily twice due to circumstances with my husband and child/ren. My husband, children and I were sharing one room, I bought and cooked our own food and paid half the bills - electricity, gas, TV licence. My husband was earning the minimum wage at the time. I didn't mind - they helped me out by giving us a roof over our heads when we desperately needed it.

My brothers on the other hand are a different kettle of fish. My eldest brother left home at 38 - he paid a small amount of money for "keep" and didn't help with the bills. My other brother moved back home about 3 years ago after his marriage broke up. He earns VERY good money, but only paid my mum £30 a week for food, etc and didn't help with the bills. If he was away for any nights during the week he deducted from his money accordingly!

The "old-fashioned" way of doing it was apparently "1/3 for board, 1/3 to save, 1/3 to spend", which seems sensible enough to me.

I am quite good at managing money now because it was instilled into me from being a child - you are never too young to start learning. £200 from £700 a month is not too much at all. I have 3 children, and I would have absolutely no qualms about making them pay their way once they start work. If you can earn like an adult, then you should pay your way like an adult.

sunsetgirl

Hi, I think £200 is right and fair and that your daughter is very lucky to be recieving so much from you for so little. If you asked for less you would not be helping her prepare for when she eventually leaves home, as said before if you feel yourself it is too much then save some for her.

Maybe if she tried living in a flat share and then returned home she would realise what a good deal she has at home.

I went from uni straight to a grotty bedsit which was damp, expensive and all I could afford......I yearned to living at home and paying board for a lovely home with home comforts.

You sound like a smashing parent to me!

jenpoptab

I agree that £200 a month is fair. It should also help her realise that £200 is very cheap even compared to a flat share.

My brother & his girlfriend are looking at renting and think they will only need £50 for bills each month. I say let them get on with it and see just how much it will cost them and then they will see which side their bread is buttered!!