help with dummy dependent baby

plzsm

any help here appreciated
we have a 3 month old who we have soothed with a dummy (rightly or wrongly) since about 3 weeks. He occasionally has it when awake when all else fails and nearly always has it for sleeping. 2 weended thatks ago he began sleeping from 8pm til 5am which was great but catching a cold ended that. The problem we have now is he wont sleep without the dummy and when he wakes when it has dropped out he cries. In the last few days he is pretty much waking up every 30-60 mins and we feel back to square one. sWe have tried to sooth him without the dummy but it doesnt seem to work, we use it as a last resort but it seems we need it everytime. We read a book which suggests we have abused the dummy and maybe we have but can anyone suggest any tips? we think at some stage we may just have to remove it altogether but that will be tough

Slapps

@ 3 months i wouldn't worry 2 much about weather he has a dummy or not if that is the only way 2 help him sleep. my son is a thumb sucker and i can't think how the hell i'm gonna get his thumb away from him lol. there is no right or wrong way with babies, just do wot u feel is best 4 u and baby as there is no point in takin the dummy away and u not gettin sleep and becomin a ratty parent.
maybe @ a later date u can always swap his dummy 4 a new toy?

tiamai_d

hey, both my boys had dummies till they were about a year and a half old.

Personally, I don't see the problem if 1, they only get it at sleep times, 2, it gets you a full nights sleep, and 3, they loose it before pre-school.

The only advice I can give you, is when he looses it during the night, don't go through right away and instead of putting it back into his mouth, put it in his hand. That way he will learn to find it himself at night.

If however, you do choose to get rid of it completely, then don't make a big deal about it, be prepared for up to a weeks worth of broken sleep. Be strong, and don't give in. Every time you give in, is adding another few days to the 'weaning' process!

Good luck!

ps, DS1 got a bad cold sore infection (they were in his mouth) and couldn't use his dummy for a few days, so he never got it back, and with DS2 they just went in the bin when he fell asleep a few times without it.

mrcow

lol dummy abuse! that's a new one.

Seriously - most parenting books should be thrown on a bonfire!

He's only 3 months old. Waking up every 30-60 minutes could just be a phase he's going through.This can happen as they become hungrier at this stage (some babies are even ready for weening at this stage) or even because he's getting cold and is waking up.

In my experience, he wouldn't wake up just because a dummy fell out, as he wouldn't notice if he was sleeping deeply enough.

Alexandria

Both my dd's had dummies (Amy only 1 so still got hers) as if I didn't give them one they would have been permanently attached to my breast. I think some are just sucky babies. They went through the "can't sleep without it" phase.
Babies tend to only suckle for the first 5 mins, they naturally stop suckling when they enter a deep sleep so its at this point the dummy falls out, but its normally after that they wake up. We all have sleep cycles of differing types of sleep. Babies cycles tend to be shorter so when they come out of the deeper sleep thats when they tend to wake as they haven't learnt to settle themselves back into it. They are used to using the dummy to take themselves back into the deep stage.
Now you can either go cold turkey and get rid of the dummy (although I wouldn't recommend it as I vaguely remember some research a couple of years ago regarding cot death and dummy removal pre 12 months old) or you can help your lo to self-soothe.
Where does your lo sleep? if not in your room then et ready for a few nights on the floor in their room.
Basically as soon as you hear them start to stir, stroke and pat them gently. I found dd1 liked the warm weight of a hand pressing gently on her but dd2 preferred patting. Don't give the dummy back at this stage.
Oops need to go work. more on this later!

poppyolivia

I have the problem of trying to get my 2 and a half year old to give it up....got in down to just nights now and if he needs it during the day I try to get him sit and cuddle in instead of walking about.......He's NEVER been a kid thats had it in their mouth all day but he has started to lisp and I am pretty certain its to do with the dummy........he would scream all night if he never had it....I can't see the day where he won't need it! Oh yeah and he ALWAYS needs a label to rub at night and during the day a label is never far away!!
I think if you don't count the night time dummy....he has the dummy for half an hour all in during the day????

My first child never had a dummy because I didn't believe in them and thought they were dirty disgusting things.....now I own half of superdrug!!!LOL

Hapless_2

Lisps have nothing to do with dummies. 2 of mine had dummies, 2 didn't, all 4 have lisps. the 2 that didn't weren't thumbsuckers either.
remember, you can sterilise a dummy but not a finger.
No 1 gave hers up at 3 yrs.
No 3 gave his up at 18 months.

Js_Other_Half

DS was surgically attached to his from 2 months until 8 months...at which point we decided as he was starting to babble not to let him have it during the day. Since then it lives in his cot, and he loves going into the cot...lol.

He was a much happier child with the dummy, and speaking as an ex thumb sucker (until I was 13...) I want him to have the dummy so we can put boundaries on it.

Hope your LO settles again soon.

tcclalel

For me, I was adamant that mine wouldn't have a dummy - after 3 months the HV told me to get one, or lose my sanity!!
When they were walking, they only had the dummy for bedtime, I also had a 'dummy lead' so they could get it themselves in the night( I like my sleep!).
I attached this to their growbag.
When my little boy was 2.5 Father Xmas swapped it for a money box, a few nights of crying and all forgotten.
My daughter left it at the childminders when she was nearly 2. We kept 'forgetting' to pick it up, and she only cried for 2 nights.
You have to be really strong, and it was really hard, but worth it.
HTH

MadDogWoman_2

Hi,

I had a dummy until my 4th birthday, I made a deal with my mum my dummy for a dolls pram! I think I must have been ready to give it up as there were no issues at night I believe.

My DD (7 months) has had a dummy since she was 5 days old. I couldn't give it to her any sooner as we were in hospital after a c-section. She had me up all night every night as a dummy - I could tell she was comfort sucking as her jaw wasn't moving - and as soon as I put her down in her cot she woke up.

DD only ever has it for sleep, it does fall out when she's in a deep sleep but it doesn't bother her. DD wakes in the night for a feed, she gets the dummy back then.

I've had to train DH not to give her a dummy when she's whinging but to work out why she's unhappy.

HTH

MDW

aligerdie

dummy abuse?! :rotfl:

I have 3 kids now, and all have had dummies for bed, and soothing if they're inconsolable.

I don't think they're a bad thing for babies as it enables them to practice their sucking reflex.

As for your ds, have you thought about whether there may be something else making him cry? The reason I say is my dd used to do exactly the same thing, and for a couple of months I was getting out of bed what seemed like constantly to put her dummy in. As soon as her first tooth broke through, this stopped, and she started sleeping through.
I know this is early to think about teething, but my dd started doing this around 3 months, and I had no idea what was up. With dd2, we knew what to expect and have had no problems.

Have you thought about trying a small amount of dentinox on his bottom gum next time he wakes up, putting his dummy in, and seeing if that helps? If it does, you may have the answer......

hope this may help.