Buffet etiquette



  • Good morning Morganb.
    Just a thought how about pasta salad,potatoe salad,green salads,pitta pockets so they can be filled to choice,walnut bread,onion bread,a selection of cheese and pickles,meat balls, chicken and apple are good (promise, kids love them) go easily in the pitta with a bit of salad.Corronation chicken,Tuna,lots of veg sticks.Not a sandwich in sight unless your guests make up there own from the table;) :T
    Some of the best lessons we ever learn,we learn from our mistakes and failures.the error of the past is the success and wisdom of the future.:wave: :beer::j
  • r.mac_2
    r.mac_2 Posts: 4,746 Forumite
    i think your cousin takes fussy eater to a new level!!!

    Please don't serve eggs - your son obviously has a severe allergy. I'm sorry your mother isn't more sympathetic towards him/you.

    Enjoy your buffet and without the eggs you may even be able to let your hair down ;-)
    aless02 wrote: »
    r.mac, you are so wise and wonderful, that post was lovely and so insightful!
    I can't promise that all my replies will illicit this response :p
  • adouglasmhor
    adouglasmhor Posts: 15,554 Forumite
    Stick this on your problem guests sandwiches


    and when she grows up you can treat her as an adult.
    The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head. Terry Pratchett

  • morganb
    morganb Posts: 1,762 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    madoldbat wrote: »
    Just a thought how about pasta salad,potatoe salad,green salads,pitta pockets so they can be filled to choice,walnut bread,onion bread,a selection of cheese and pickles,meat balls, chicken and apple are good (promise, kids love them) go easily in the pitta with a bit of salad.Corronation chicken,Tuna,lots of veg sticks.Not a sandwich in sight unless your guests make up there own from the table;) :T
    Thanks for the ideas! Would have to leave out the pasta / potato salad because of the mayonnaise content, but I think I'm going to stick to green salads / veg sticks / dips (although she doesn't eat dips / nuts / pickles / read meat / fish / cheese) and she is just going to have to like it or lump it.

    Will report back after D Day in December
    That's Numberwang!
  • Quackers
    Quackers Posts: 10,157 Forumite
    morganb wrote: »
    The shepherds pie / lasagne is a great idea, and this is what I would have normally done but ... said fussy person doesn't eat mince / chopped tomatoes / peas have to be a certain size, etc., etc.

    I'd serve an assortment of peas on a plate :D

    Then she can choose which ones she wants to eat.

    She gets a choice then doesn't she?:)
    Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold...But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow...
  • so, it's actually your mother causing the problem and not your cousins wife (although she seems very fussy). i would not make eggs etc if there was a chance my son could have an allergic reaction. my auntie is very fussy (she will not eat anything with garlic, anything spicy, pasta) and we always have birthday teas. my mum and dad just provide a selection of goodies that everyone can try and if they don't want / like something tough, there is plenty of other stuff to eat.

    perhaps if you intend to serve sandwiches you could email your cousin's wife stating your mum has said she prefers egg but that you are unable to serve this due to your sons allergy and is there anything else she would like.
    :love: married to the man of my dreams! 9-08-09:love:
  • valk_scot
    valk_scot Posts: 5,290 Forumite
    Combo Breaker First Post
    I would phone the wife, say that you know she's not fond of a lot of foodstuffs, explain that you really can't have eggy things due to doctor's orders then ask what other things she might like that you could serve? that's being a very good hostess, IMHO, and I'm sure she'll understand about the eggs.

    One thought though...this is a good time to make sure ALL your family members are fully aware of the egg situation. What would happen if your son goes to visit family without you and gets offered a nice slice of eggy cake, for example? You have to be sure you can trust them. And especially your mum. How can he go to visit her if you can't trust her to look after him?
  • sethsgran
    sethsgran Posts: 2,855 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Nah don't go with that pea size just cook what you fancy cooking if they don't each much then plenty for your family the next day. Also if they don't eat they can always call in at the local KFC. If you want the lasagne/shepherds pie then do it. Make them piping hot with the cheese bubbling, lots of hot bread, I use part baked, and some delicious salads. Let me know if there are any leftovers.
    Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes
  • 3plus1
    3plus1 Posts: 821 Forumite
    morganb wrote: »
    Thanks guys, I feel very strongly that all food in DS2s house should be 'safe' for him to eat; I can't believe my Mum arguing that I am rude!!! and that I should teach him which foods he can / can't eat! He's only just turned 3! Bless him, he recognises that he can't eat quiche / coleslaw / mayo, etc., but does try to sneak the odd meringue when no-one's looking ... had to tell his nursery off for leaving them around at a party once.

    What I'm going to say to you is going to sound absolutely horrible, but it's really not meant as such. I'm saying this with the best of intentions.

    Obviously, as your son's mother, you care about his welfare. He's allergic to eggs, so you've banned them from your house. But the rest of the world does not care, and because of that, it's important that you teach him from as young an age as possible, to deal with that. It's important he can recognise which food he's allergic to, and it's important that he learns to ask people (e.g. school dinner ladies, friends' parents) what's in the food they're serving him. Where possible, it's important he learns how to be around egg and not get contaminated by it.

    Because it's not always obvious which foodstuffs do contain egg, it's all the more crucial that you expose your son to different foodstuffs with egg in them and make clear that he should never eat them. If you don't see for yourself what it is you're meant to avoid, it's difficult to remember.

    I strongly believe that there should be more awareness of allergies, and I have a real bone to pick with big companies who produce food with nuts and food without nuts in the same factory, when they own enough factories to keep production seperate. I think if you ask in a restaurant if the food you want to order has something you're allergic to in it, you should get a straight answer.

    But I don't think you should seek to deprive other people of one type of food purely because of one person's allergy - it's possible to co-exist. People just need to be more aware of allergies, and how they prepare their food.

    I am very allergic to nuts - fatally so, when it comes to certain types. But to those without nut allergies, they're very beneficial to eat. I grew up in a house where my family ate nuts, and I didn't. I never for one moment thought they should be deprived of them because of me.

    To be perfectly blunt, learning the lesson that other people got to eat nuts but I didn't, helped reinforce the message that I was different from other people in that respect, and that's a lesson that has kept me alive so far.

    So, really, what I mean, is that your mum does have a point about not banning eggs from your home, but her reason behind it is the wrong one.

    Try not to take things out on your cousin's wife too much - it sounds more like your mum stirring that your cousin's wife actually causing trouble. Cook what you like - it's your home. But do think about my point about banning eggs altogether - it's not necessarily the right thing to do for your son.
  • I'd give them a ring and ask what their favourite foods are? Have a general chit-chat and suss it out from there. Apart from that I would have a variety. I cannot believe they only eat egg sandwiches! Nothing like hearing it form the horses moth so to speak. Maybe she only makes egg sarnies cos they are cheap? Who knows! Make a phone call-its good to talk-they say.
    Annual Grocery budget 2018 is £1500 pa £125 calendar month £28.84 pw for 3 adults
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