Buffet etiquette

edited 9 February 2016 at 6:17PM in Special occasions & other celebrations
38 replies 8.5K views
morganbmorganb Forumite
1.8K Posts
I've been Money Tipped!
Our cousins and their two small children are due to be visiting in a couple of weeks time. They were due to come today but called off due to poorly children (which I totally understand as DS1 is 5, and DS2 is 3, been there, done that!!)
We had prepared a roast pork for today which we were going to serve with a selection of breads, sausage rolls, pizzas, salads, etc.
On speaking to my Mum today I said that I might just stick with a cold buffet next time so that I don't get stuck with a huge joint of meat and no-one to eat it in case they can't make it.
Mum then turned around and said that if I was making sandwiches, I would have to only make egg sandwiches as that is all my cousins wife will eat. She is EXTREMELY fussy. Peas have to be a certain size (!) and shade of green (!) and she can only eat Cadburys chocolate, etc.

However, DS2 is allergic to eggs; if they come into contact with his skin via mayonnaise, or salad cream then his face blisters.

So, should I do as my Mum says (she argued that I would be a VERY rude hostess if I didn't provide egg sandwiches for cousin's wife) or should I stick to my guns and not put out any foods that DS2 can't eat (it is his house, after all!!! If it was a nut allergy then I wouldn't be putting out a nut roast or a bowl of peanuts on the table!!)

Surely the fact that I am putting on a buffet should give them enough scope to find foods that they will eat.

What do you guys think??
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  • Were you already aware of her food fads?
    If not, then surely your cousin should have told you .

    If I only ate certain things, then I would advise my hosts beforehand and explain that I would eat before I came to visit and save any trouble, or offer to bring my own food.

    good luck with the next visit.
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  • jamgirljamgirl Forumite
    215 Posts
    i would definately NOT be serving egg sandwiches.
    so long as you provide various foods that can be eaten then that is enough.
    if they are not happy with that then that makes them very rude guests!

    my dd has a nut allergy and i wouldn't dream of having anything containing nuts on a buffet table in our house.

    good luck!
  • If your DS is allergic then you should definately not have eggs around. Why put you childs health at risk just please someone else?

    You are being a marvelous hostess already! To be honest if they don't like it then thats their problem really -you are being a good mum by keeping your child safe.
  • just find out if she will eat anything else,there must be something she can eat in a sandwich,i would not serve egg,not worth the risk
    Good Enough Club member no 42
  • junojuno Forumite
    6.6K Posts
    Part of the Furniture
    As DS2 is only young, don't have any eggs around. If he was older you could put out clearly labeled egg sandwiches but as he won't understand then don't risk it!
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  • morganbmorganb Forumite
    1.8K Posts
    I've been Money Tipped!
    whatatwit wrote: »
    Were you already aware of her food fads?
    Put it this way, the list of 'fads' is as long as my arm ... I did email prior to today to see if there were any special 'requests' and was told that everyone liked sausage rolls ...
    That's Numberwang!
  • Truthfully, I'd not risk it!

    My friend (she's 32!) is allergic to fish and seafood. Whenever we have parties or go to them etc everyone knows to keep anything fishy seperate. Unfortunately one of the little kiddies moved some stuff around and a bit of smoked salmon ended up with the rest of the food - end result, a v swollen friend and a trip to casualty!:eek:

    If a 32 year old can accidently eat something they're allergic to, it would be much easier for it to happen to a small child.

    Choice of catering for allergy or for fads - simple choice!

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  • morganbmorganb Forumite
    1.8K Posts
    I've been Money Tipped!
    Thanks guys, I feel very strongly that all food in DS2s house should be 'safe' for him to eat; I can't believe my Mum arguing that I am rude!!! and that I should teach him which foods he can / can't eat! He's only just turned 3! Bless him, he recognises that he can't eat quiche / coleslaw / mayo, etc., but does try to sneak the odd meringue when no-one's looking ... had to tell his nursery off for leaving them around at a party once.
    That's Numberwang!
  • She's a fussy adult, he's a kid with a pretty serious allergy...

    If she's going to behave like that with food, it's her choice, and she has then taken that choice to mean she's going to have trouble eating out. It's her problem. Don't serve egg, serve some bread and butter.
    Softstuff- Officially better than 007
  • papworthpapworth Forumite
    150 Posts
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    My son has allergies and the doctors reminded me that if we eat the foods and then give him a kiss, he can react to that as well. Your cousin's wife could even kiss you goodbye then you kiss your son. Ban the eggs!
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