Discovering someone is unlikely to be able to have children

mrcow

I was also told this at 22 due to polysystic ovaries. I've since had four pregnancies and three children.

Once she's ready to start a family, she needs to check out what her options are. It's very rarely a completely closed door.

Js_Other_Half

I'm with everyone else here - there is usually some way forward to becoming a parent. However, I remember being told the same thing and I was devastated - one of my SIL told me I should have sex at the right time of the month and everything would be fine...! (You have to laugh...)

Anyway, let her grieve and ( at this stage )try not to keep telling her about other people you know who've had children after a similar diagnosis - I just kept thinking 'but they're not me, and they don't have my exact problems'.

At some point in the future she may need some practical help - such as cash for IVF etc, and just let her know that you'd be happy to help if you can. My best friend offered us money for the IVF if we were stuck - and she's now DS godmother.

nicola1982_2

If it is something like PCOS then she may find that with healthy eating and exercise she can increse her possibility of conceiving.

I have incompetent cervix and was told I may not be able to carry my baby, I'm now 30 weeks pregnant and doing great.

Strapped

Js_Other_Half wrote: »

Anyway, let her grieve and ( at this stage )try not to keep telling her about other people you know who've had children after a similar diagnosis - I just kept thinking 'but they're not me, and they don't have my exact problems'.

Exactly. I drove myself mad studying the statistics, the likelihood of infertility treatment working. Depending on exactly what the problem is, there may be something to try to become a biological mum, but there is no way of predicting the outcome because you're an individual and no-one knows. You often hear the success stories, but not many people want to make public the fact that they have tried and failed.

BTW, I wouldn't bring up the adoption/fostering route unless she does, because (a) not everyone wants to adopt if they can't have their own biological child and (b) researching the adoption route can really bring it home that you have abandoned any chance of your own offspring, and she may not want to face that for some time.