Getting married.. prenup?

Keep_pedalling

This seems to be coming from your parents rather than you, and frankly I would not let them push me into such an agreement, that in all likelyhood will cause friction between you and your future wife.

Grezz24

Surely a marriage is about sharing your life and everything with it, a prenup undermines that in my view.

Id suggest speaking to your partner first as she may feel the same way.

System

Not worth the paper they are printed on.

pimento

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I'd have been perfectly happy to discuss our finances with my DH before we married, but if he'd suggested a prenup I'd have been out.

fortunately we had next to nothing so the question never arose. It's never been 'his' and 'mine', it's all just ours.

But we went into our marriage with the view that it was 'for life', 'for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer', and allowing thoughts about 'what if we split up?' felt like a contradiction of that.

Of course your parents can take advice about protecting THEIR assets, but if you think YOURS need to be protected then I'd question if you're ready for marriage.

I also went into marriage thinking it would be for life but you can't plan for the unexpected. I was married for 28 years when my husband died. We'd have been married still.

When I met my present husband, I had an adult son and a house and he had a house, so we had to make sure that my son was provided for before we married in the event of my death.

It's not always straightforward.

Savvy_Sue

pimento wrote: »

I also went into marriage thinking it would be for life but you can't plan for the unexpected. I was married for 28 years when my husband died. We'd have been married still.

When I met my present husband, I had an adult son and a house and he had a house, so we had to make sure that my son was provided for before we married in the event of my death.

It's not always straightforward.

I can absolutely see that, but it's not the situation the OP describes. I think the OP needs to think really clearly about this: his parents can do as they like to protect THEIR assets in the event of HIS potential divorce, but putting pressure on him to draw up a pre-nup ... moving into dangerous territory IMO.

Jimmybucks

Whoa did not know this.

Sorry, meant to quote the post about prenups not being valid. News to me, not that I'd need one.

macman

They are perfectly 'valid', but if contested in court, then the court can issue judgement that disregards the terms of the pre-nup.

michelle09

My husband muttered about prenups when we first got together. I was fairly blunt at pointing out that if someone wanted to plan the divorce before the wedding had even taken place, it wasn't someone I was going to marry.



As it happens, I have always earned at least £10k/year more than my husband, and if we were to have children, he would take the bulk of the parental leave which would create a further gap in income levels. But we have always considered money to be 'ours' rather than mine or his. And as we have now lived together for five years, I believe if we ever got divorced the courts would aim for a 50:50 split.


However, OP, this is what works for us. To start with, I would take your parents out of the equation and speak to your fiancee about your finances as a couple. What your parents wish to do with their assets/property is their own decisions. It may not be a pleasant topic but it's a really important one to talk about before committing to a marriage.

Arthurian

So, on the flip side, could a parent ensure in their will that any inheritance would be to a son only, which the son might want to share with his wife, but might not?

74jax

Arthurian wrote: »

So, on the flip side, could a parent ensure in their will that any inheritance would be to a son only, which the son might want to share with his wife, but might not?

In my will my DD gets pretty much everything. Just to her. Up to her what she then does with it. My part of ensuring it goes to her is done as far I can.