Getting married.. prenup?

pred02

Hi,

I am getting married in June. I know that pre-nups are not as common in the UK as they are across the pond and this is not a pleasant subject to discuss prior to getting married, but wanted to get a better understanding on what would happen given my circumstances in case of a divorce and if a pre-nup would be a smart idea.

Context:

I am in my mid-late thirties, I own a flat in London in which I invested and accumulated a bit of equity. My parents who are in good health also have assets/property they would pass onto me and my brother (this is abroad). My partner has some savings, but no property. Her parents also have assets that they would pass onto her and her sister.

Ideally, my parents would like to protect assets they leave for me and my sister that, in case either I or my sister get a divorce these assets would not be touched by our respective partners.

I also understand that one day if my partner and I were to purchase a house together, that the bulk of the equity would come from the sale of my property.

Assuming that we get divorced after 2 years, which way do courts go, what is customary and in my case would a pre-nup be recommended?

This is not an easy subject and I want to also be fair to my partner, but bad things do happen so want to know what is recommended from experience

Thanks

[purplesignup][/purplesignup]

Red-Squirrel_2

Pre nups aren’t legally binding in this country.

To be honest, it sounds like the best way to achieve what you want is to not get married. It’s not compulsory!

jackieblack

If you got divorced after 2 years, this would be classed as a short marriage and the courts would seek to return you both to the financial position you were in before you married.
This assumes that you don’t have any children.

Happier_Me

So I'll caviat this with 'I'm far from an expert but' it would be sensible for your parents to speak to a solicitor about the possibility of using a trust to protect their assets from future divorce. It wouldn't be cheap and you would all need to understand the pros and cons, but otherwise this would be in the hands of the courts of you divorce.

And as a happily married mum of 2, I would not marry again purely to protect my assets, in the unlikely event I got divorced. I would not begrudge my husband a penny of our assets or any inheritance I received and I'm the bigger earner and main carer to our children. But we've both worked hard for what we have and I wouldn't want that hard work distributed to a future husband who had no part in building up that wealth.

If you decide to marry then you really do have to accept that assets you've built up prior to your marriage can not be protected.

Just a thought, is there more protection if you live/marry in Scotland?

thorsoak

I am another who would suggest that as your parents are concerned about protecting their legacies to you (and your sister) that they consult their solicitor about how they divide their estates. What happens if you have children? Would your parents want them to share in your family's estate? Talk to them.

unholyangel

Prenuptial agreements basically are the same as financial settlements agreed between parties during the divorce proceedings - they're not binding on the court, the court can ignore them but if certain conditions are met, then the courts are more likely to uphold them.

Such as getting independent legal advice (both parties) before signing, full financial disclosure, that its not one sided (only protecting one of them). Theres other conditions too but I can't remember them off the top of my head.

The courts don't force people to take assets they don't want, their main concern is that parties are aware of their legal position and aren't being coerced or forced into an unfair split.

TBagpuss

Unholyangel is spot on - the other criteria is that the agreement has to be signed a reasonable time before the wedding, so it isn't signed under duress "Sign or I cancel the wedding"

The other advantage of a pre-nup is that it means that the two of you haveto talk about finances, and your respective views and expectations about what would happen to your assets if you were to separate.

Savvy_Sue

TBagpuss wrote: »

The other advantage of a pre-nup is that it means that the two of you haveto talk about finances, and your respective views and expectations about what would happen to your assets if you were to separate.

I'd have been perfectly happy to discuss our finances with my DH before we married, but if he'd suggested a prenup I'd have been out.

fortunately we had next to nothing so the question never arose. It's never been 'his' and 'mine', it's all just ours.

But we went into our marriage with the view that it was 'for life', 'for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer', and allowing thoughts about 'what if we split up?' felt like a contradiction of that.

Of course your parents can take advice about protecting THEIR assets, but if you think YOURS need to be protected then I'd question if you're ready for marriage.

dandy-candy

I’m with Sue on this one. If your going into a marriage already planning for a divorce, why even bother?

My husband was in a pretty good position financially when we met, I was on the dole. He never once mentioned any financial matters about if we split, and we had our 20th wedding anniversary last year. In for a penny, in for a pound as they say.

74jax

dandy-candy wrote: »

I
My husband was in a pretty good position financially when we met, I was on the dole. .

So was mine but he wanted one. Situation with us was I wasnt fussed in the slightest. So we had one. It's important to know both don't mind if, otherwise if one wants it and the other doesn't it won't work.

However had he said 'my parents want us to have one in case they die and leave me inheritance and you take it in a divorce' I'm not sure I would. I think what happens in a marriage is to the pair of you. However everyone sees it differently and perhaps when I come to leave my DD something i will be thinking the same. Who knows.

Amara

It''s a cultural thing sharing everything, before and after wedding. It comes from old days, when women couldn't hold properties in their own rights and their husbands were resposible for their debts. I was born in the country, where what what yours before wedding, remains yours after wedding and divorce, should it comes to it. It saves so much hassle.